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Thursday, March 29, 2007
He won't leave me alone
janet, 20, from Ne, asks:
I have been with my current ex boyfriend for 5 years back and forth. I left him after high school since we were going separate ways but he called back and found me through mutual friends. Anyway so then he breaks things off through texting and tells me to leave him the fuck alone, yet he won't leave me alone. He finds out information about me through a friend. I don't know how though then a week passes and he calls me just to do it you know? Then we don't talk or anything. The following week he does it again. If he wants to move on like he had said in the text then why doesn't he let ME move on? Is he likely to be jealous to which guy I'd go out with and let me be with him just so I won't jump off into another relationship? It hurts to not know so hopefully I can get a clear answer.
Victor's answer:
Why won't he leave you alone? Because he's a control freak. Because he's a creep. Because he's a major league jerk. If you think he does it because he has feelings for you, you're mistaken. He's a miserable critter and such people derive energy from making others more miserable than them. He will be jealous of anything or anyone that makes you happy. He won't let you move on because he likes to torment you. It gives me satisfaction. Don't expect rational behavior from an irrational person.
Basically, Janet, his behavior has nothing to do with you; it's all about his sorry ass being a solid loser. You didn't make him that way. You're not responsible for his actions. And there's nothing you can do to "fix" him. He was that way before you (you just didn't know it) and he will be this obnoxious with his next girlfriend.
What would be helpful is for you to try to change your attitude about that which you found really attractive about him so that you avoid falling for someone like him again. And ignore his attempts at contact with you. Don't show anger (he will like that), don't insult him (that's giving him attention), just avoid him with the least amount of attention possible. If he calls, hang-up without a word. If he text messages you, don't read it, just delete it without a response. If he sends you a letter, throw it in the garbage without reading it.
I have been with my current ex boyfriend for 5 years back and forth. I left him after high school since we were going separate ways but he called back and found me through mutual friends. Anyway so then he breaks things off through texting and tells me to leave him the fuck alone, yet he won't leave me alone. He finds out information about me through a friend. I don't know how though then a week passes and he calls me just to do it you know? Then we don't talk or anything. The following week he does it again. If he wants to move on like he had said in the text then why doesn't he let ME move on? Is he likely to be jealous to which guy I'd go out with and let me be with him just so I won't jump off into another relationship? It hurts to not know so hopefully I can get a clear answer.
Victor's answer:
Why won't he leave you alone? Because he's a control freak. Because he's a creep. Because he's a major league jerk. If you think he does it because he has feelings for you, you're mistaken. He's a miserable critter and such people derive energy from making others more miserable than them. He will be jealous of anything or anyone that makes you happy. He won't let you move on because he likes to torment you. It gives me satisfaction. Don't expect rational behavior from an irrational person.
Basically, Janet, his behavior has nothing to do with you; it's all about his sorry ass being a solid loser. You didn't make him that way. You're not responsible for his actions. And there's nothing you can do to "fix" him. He was that way before you (you just didn't know it) and he will be this obnoxious with his next girlfriend.
What would be helpful is for you to try to change your attitude about that which you found really attractive about him so that you avoid falling for someone like him again. And ignore his attempts at contact with you. Don't show anger (he will like that), don't insult him (that's giving him attention), just avoid him with the least amount of attention possible. If he calls, hang-up without a word. If he text messages you, don't read it, just delete it without a response. If he sends you a letter, throw it in the garbage without reading it.
Labels: control freak, ex-boyfriend, stalker, won't leave me alone
