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Thursday, February 08, 2007
Why Men Get Upset
Jessica, 22, from United States asks:
Hey, I was wondering why men get upset if women don't give them sex when they want it?
VictorM's answer:
Let me answer this in terms you might understand. Let's say you have this great party in 2 days that you're planning to attend and you have the perfect dress that looks awesome on you. You have been looking around for the perfect shoes to go with it and you just can't find them. Then, there you are, visiting your 784th shoe store when you find them. The perfect color, the perfect design, the perfect price. You go in, all excited and ask to try size 7. They tell you they only have sizes 6 and 8, not 7. You ask if they can order size 7 and they say yes, it will arrive in 5 days. Let me ask you, just about this time wouldn't you be upset? Of course you would. But why? So you don't get the shoes for the party, big deal! You'll get them for the next party. But you know it doesn't work that way, right? You want them for THIS party, damn it! Well, that's how guys feel when they can't get sex THIS time.
So, if you don't want the shoe story to happen to you, never, never, NEVER, say no to your guy -- it'll be really bad karma.
Hey, I was wondering why men get upset if women don't give them sex when they want it?
VictorM's answer:
Let me answer this in terms you might understand. Let's say you have this great party in 2 days that you're planning to attend and you have the perfect dress that looks awesome on you. You have been looking around for the perfect shoes to go with it and you just can't find them. Then, there you are, visiting your 784th shoe store when you find them. The perfect color, the perfect design, the perfect price. You go in, all excited and ask to try size 7. They tell you they only have sizes 6 and 8, not 7. You ask if they can order size 7 and they say yes, it will arrive in 5 days. Let me ask you, just about this time wouldn't you be upset? Of course you would. But why? So you don't get the shoes for the party, big deal! You'll get them for the next party. But you know it doesn't work that way, right? You want them for THIS party, damn it! Well, that's how guys feel when they can't get sex THIS time.
So, if you don't want the shoe story to happen to you, never, never, NEVER, say no to your guy -- it'll be really bad karma.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Is it wrong to have sex before a relationship
Anonymous, 22, from Texas asks:
Is it wrong to have sex before a relationship if you known a guy for a while now? Ok I have really come to the point where I started liking this guy I been talking to for a year online through instant messaging. I got hints that he was liking me to because when I would make a comment you are crazy lol and he would say, " over you," then another one was that he said he wanted everything and I ask what was he meaning by that and he said you. I feel like I know him very well and so far he has been honest with me. We never met in person but we will meet within the next year. The only problem is that he is wanting sex from me. Knowing me I like to ask questions before going through with it. So I asked if we were to have sex would he use me and he told me, "No!" So should I take him serious if we have been talking for a while?
VictorM's advice:
Whether it's wrong or not to have sex is up to you based on your value system. But if you believe the guy's "No" answer to using you you may need a brain transplant. Come on, get real! What did you expect him to say?
This relationship of yours is silly. Let me ask you, does this guy have body odor? Does he shower regularly? Does he brush his teeth twice a day at least? The truth is, you don't know. You're talking about having sex with a man you may find repulsive when you meet him. And this line of yours: "I feel like I know him very well and so far he has been honest with me" is disturbing. You know NOTHING about him. You have NO IDEA if he's being honest. And while there is no denying that virtually every guy has sex in the back of his mind, to be this forward about it, it truly a bad sign.
You can decide to have sex or not based on your values, but based purely on your words I have to say you are nowhere near being mature enough to meet this guy much less to have sex with him.
Is it wrong to have sex before a relationship if you known a guy for a while now? Ok I have really come to the point where I started liking this guy I been talking to for a year online through instant messaging. I got hints that he was liking me to because when I would make a comment you are crazy lol and he would say, " over you," then another one was that he said he wanted everything and I ask what was he meaning by that and he said you. I feel like I know him very well and so far he has been honest with me. We never met in person but we will meet within the next year. The only problem is that he is wanting sex from me. Knowing me I like to ask questions before going through with it. So I asked if we were to have sex would he use me and he told me, "No!" So should I take him serious if we have been talking for a while?
VictorM's advice:
Whether it's wrong or not to have sex is up to you based on your value system. But if you believe the guy's "No" answer to using you you may need a brain transplant. Come on, get real! What did you expect him to say?
This relationship of yours is silly. Let me ask you, does this guy have body odor? Does he shower regularly? Does he brush his teeth twice a day at least? The truth is, you don't know. You're talking about having sex with a man you may find repulsive when you meet him. And this line of yours: "I feel like I know him very well and so far he has been honest with me" is disturbing. You know NOTHING about him. You have NO IDEA if he's being honest. And while there is no denying that virtually every guy has sex in the back of his mind, to be this forward about it, it truly a bad sign.
You can decide to have sex or not based on your values, but based purely on your words I have to say you are nowhere near being mature enough to meet this guy much less to have sex with him.
Labels: long distance relationship, sex
Monday, January 22, 2007
Waiting for sex
chris, 33, from united ststes asks:
How long should you wait to have sex?
VictorM's answer:
You're 33. I'd say right after you read this, go outside and offer to screw the first person that comes along. Life is slipping you by, my friend.
OK... OK... I suppose you meant after you start seeing someone, right? Well, the answer is simple: as soon as both of you are willing and ready. No sooner, no later. There is no timetable. For some people it happens the first night, for some not until after marriage.
How long should you wait to have sex?
VictorM's answer:
You're 33. I'd say right after you read this, go outside and offer to screw the first person that comes along. Life is slipping you by, my friend.
OK... OK... I suppose you meant after you start seeing someone, right? Well, the answer is simple: as soon as both of you are willing and ready. No sooner, no later. There is no timetable. For some people it happens the first night, for some not until after marriage.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Six months off and on
Jen, 25, from California asks:
Here it goes: I was with a guy for almost three years but the last six months off and on because we split on his terms but still remained friendly and would see each other every now and again (once a month maybe and no sex just hanging out). The last time together we had a great time (sex also) and I really wanted to talk about us getting back together but decided that I would do it the next day because it didn't seem like the right time to bring it up. I asked him to call me later that night and he never did. Much to my sadness I wrote him e-mails within the next month and he never responded. So now that I was hurt and sad I wrote one that said if this is the way it is then I would like my things back. I was hoping he would say something about us but instead I got my things in the mail later on that week. I don't understand what I did or why he acted this way. What do you think? I am sad that he couldn't just say how he felt. Thanks
VictorM's advice:
Classic case of girls thinking sex means something, and to guys it's just a fuck. But what exactly did you expect him to say? You had split-up before but remained friends. He has no other explanations or justifications to give you. You had sex with him of your own free will. He probably sensed you wanted more than what the understanding was -- that is, friends only -- and decided to cut out contact. Words are not necessary since there was nothing new.
I don't blame him. Really, females want to talk, talk, talk even when there's nothing to say. How suffocating!
Here it goes: I was with a guy for almost three years but the last six months off and on because we split on his terms but still remained friendly and would see each other every now and again (once a month maybe and no sex just hanging out). The last time together we had a great time (sex also) and I really wanted to talk about us getting back together but decided that I would do it the next day because it didn't seem like the right time to bring it up. I asked him to call me later that night and he never did. Much to my sadness I wrote him e-mails within the next month and he never responded. So now that I was hurt and sad I wrote one that said if this is the way it is then I would like my things back. I was hoping he would say something about us but instead I got my things in the mail later on that week. I don't understand what I did or why he acted this way. What do you think? I am sad that he couldn't just say how he felt. Thanks
VictorM's advice:
Classic case of girls thinking sex means something, and to guys it's just a fuck. But what exactly did you expect him to say? You had split-up before but remained friends. He has no other explanations or justifications to give you. You had sex with him of your own free will. He probably sensed you wanted more than what the understanding was -- that is, friends only -- and decided to cut out contact. Words are not necessary since there was nothing new.
I don't blame him. Really, females want to talk, talk, talk even when there's nothing to say. How suffocating!
Labels: advice, answer, ex-boyfriend, sex
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Dating a guy from Senegal
Sweetness, 27, from South Africa asks:
I'm dating a guy from Senegal, he seems to be too busy for me. He hardly has time for me and I sometimes feel as though our relationship is all about sex. Should I leave the guy or give him some space?
VictorM's advice:
Cut out the sex and see how it goes. If he still makes time for you, fine, otherwise, give him the boot.
But in general, be weary of someone who is all work. One can be aggressive and hard working and still balance life and work. If this guys can't do that, you are better off taking a chance with someone new.
I'm dating a guy from Senegal, he seems to be too busy for me. He hardly has time for me and I sometimes feel as though our relationship is all about sex. Should I leave the guy or give him some space?
VictorM's advice:
Cut out the sex and see how it goes. If he still makes time for you, fine, otherwise, give him the boot.
But in general, be weary of someone who is all work. One can be aggressive and hard working and still balance life and work. If this guys can't do that, you are better off taking a chance with someone new.
Labels: relationship, sex, workaholic
