Thursday, February 19, 2009
Peanut
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, Salty."
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Viens Chez Moi
One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi."
The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me."
So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."
The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me."
So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."
Labels: blonde joke, sex joke
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Get rich quick scheme
A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick. So she proceeded to find herself a rich 73 year old man planning to screw him to death on their wedding night.
The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. On the first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed.When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover his 12 inch erection, and he was carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of noseplugs.
Fearing her plan had gone amiss, she asked, “What are those for?”
The old man replied, “There are just two things I can’t stand: the sound of a woman screaming... and the smell of burning rubber!”
The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. On the first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed.When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover his 12 inch erection, and he was carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of noseplugs.
Fearing her plan had gone amiss, she asked, “What are those for?”
The old man replied, “There are just two things I can’t stand: the sound of a woman screaming... and the smell of burning rubber!”
Labels: couples joke, old folks joke, sex joke
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Southern Hospitality
Nate and Martin, two army buddies are on leave and decide to go to Nate's house and get drunk. Lo and behold they run out of beer so Nate says that he will go for more. As he is leaving he tells his wife Barbara to show Martin her best southern hospitality which she agrees to do. Nate comes back with the beer and finds Martin and Barbara screwing right on the kitchen floor.
Nate yells, "What are you doing Barbara?"
She replies, "You told me to show Martin my best southern hospitality."
Nate replies "For cripe sake woman, arch your back, poor Martin's balls are on the cold floor."
Nate yells, "What are you doing Barbara?"
She replies, "You told me to show Martin my best southern hospitality."
Nate replies "For cripe sake woman, arch your back, poor Martin's balls are on the cold floor."
Labels: redneck joke, sex joke
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Permanent Erection
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there.
She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with.
The man said, "This is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent erection that causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said, "The best we can do is 1/3 ownership in the store and $5,000 in cash."
She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with.
The man said, "This is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent erection that causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said, "The best we can do is 1/3 ownership in the store and $5,000 in cash."
Labels: sex joke, women joke
