Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Note in my pocket
Lindsey, 13, from Ohio asks:
Hey VictorM. I have this kind of situation. I have a gifted class w/an acquaintance, and recently my teach moved our seats so now I sit next to him. After awhile, I got to know him, we became friends, and I really really like him. I've had this note in my pocket now for like almost two months, but I just can't get the courage up to ask him out. He's showing all the signs that he most likely DOES like me, but I don't know what to do! I really really like him, I would really love to have more that just a friendship relationship w/him....what do I do now!?!?!?!?!?! Pleas PLEASE help me out here!
VictorM's advice:
Do NOT give him that note! That will be the quickest way for him to lose interest in you. Let me explain why.
Guys like to feel a sense of conquest. If you confess your feelings for him, he'll lose interest in you and will feel that if you like him, others will too, so he starts looking around instead of focusing on you.
What you do is keep your feelings to yourself but encourage him to do the chasing. For example, if you're going to see a movie this weekend, mention it to him. You can even say, why don't you come along? Doing these things, that is, inviting him to where you are going to be, you get to judge whether he really likes you or not (based on whether he shows up or not), but you leave it up to him to make the next move.
Hey VictorM. I have this kind of situation. I have a gifted class w/an acquaintance, and recently my teach moved our seats so now I sit next to him. After awhile, I got to know him, we became friends, and I really really like him. I've had this note in my pocket now for like almost two months, but I just can't get the courage up to ask him out. He's showing all the signs that he most likely DOES like me, but I don't know what to do! I really really like him, I would really love to have more that just a friendship relationship w/him....what do I do now!?!?!?!?!?! Pleas PLEASE help me out here!
VictorM's advice:
Do NOT give him that note! That will be the quickest way for him to lose interest in you. Let me explain why.
Guys like to feel a sense of conquest. If you confess your feelings for him, he'll lose interest in you and will feel that if you like him, others will too, so he starts looking around instead of focusing on you.
What you do is keep your feelings to yourself but encourage him to do the chasing. For example, if you're going to see a movie this weekend, mention it to him. You can even say, why don't you come along? Doing these things, that is, inviting him to where you are going to be, you get to judge whether he really likes you or not (based on whether he shows up or not), but you leave it up to him to make the next move.
Labels: really like him, shyness
Friday, March 30, 2007
He still has feelings for his ex
Monica, 16, from Arkansas, asks:
I am dating this guy and I really Really REALLY like him but he told me straight up that he still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend but she is dating someone else and he says that his feelings for her MIGHT go away. What should I do?? PLZ HELP!!!!!
VictorM's advice:
You should do two things: one, thank your lucky stars that you found a guy who is honest -- you have no idea how lucky you are; two, continue to really, really like him and be the best girlfriend you can be.
It is very normal for him to feel this way about his ex. If nothing else, it shows he's capable of forming an emotional attachment to a girl -- that's good. At your age, getting over an ex happens often and very quickly. So, don't give him a hard time about his feelings for her. Be fun, pleasant, understanding, etc. -- it will be the best remedy to erase her from his life.
I am dating this guy and I really Really REALLY like him but he told me straight up that he still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend but she is dating someone else and he says that his feelings for her MIGHT go away. What should I do?? PLZ HELP!!!!!
VictorM's advice:
You should do two things: one, thank your lucky stars that you found a guy who is honest -- you have no idea how lucky you are; two, continue to really, really like him and be the best girlfriend you can be.
It is very normal for him to feel this way about his ex. If nothing else, it shows he's capable of forming an emotional attachment to a girl -- that's good. At your age, getting over an ex happens often and very quickly. So, don't give him a hard time about his feelings for her. Be fun, pleasant, understanding, etc. -- it will be the best remedy to erase her from his life.
Labels: has feeling for ex, really like him
