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Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Her fiance likes 18-year-old porn
Tammy, 34, from Phoenix, asks:
Can you please tell me if it is normal for my fiance (who is 33) to view teen (as in 18 years old, not younger) pornography. He also views older than 18 years, which is not a problem for me. I enjoy a little bit of porn also. He does not know that I know he has viewed 18 and 19 year olds. This bothers me that they are so young looking! A site he goes to is babysitters.com. I think it is disgusting. How do I get past this? I cannot let him know that I found this info on his computer. Thank you for your opinion
VictorM's advice:
Tammy, get a grip. 18-year-olds are adults! Your fiance's behavior is totally normal. Why do you think two of the most popular franchises in porn are "Barely Legal" and "Girls Gone Wild" (which is mostly college age girls)?
Porn is mostly about fantasy. Come on, guys want to fantasize with girls at their best, and the college age years (18 to 23) are the best for physical looks -- boobs are perkier, skin is tighter, and there's an aura of innocence, which fits with most fantasies.
If you're OK with porn, there should be nothing disgusting about legal age teens. Stop acting like an old fart.
But I'm puzzled about the site you mentioned -- it's not porn!
Can you please tell me if it is normal for my fiance (who is 33) to view teen (as in 18 years old, not younger) pornography. He also views older than 18 years, which is not a problem for me. I enjoy a little bit of porn also. He does not know that I know he has viewed 18 and 19 year olds. This bothers me that they are so young looking! A site he goes to is babysitters.com. I think it is disgusting. How do I get past this? I cannot let him know that I found this info on his computer. Thank you for your opinion
VictorM's advice:
Tammy, get a grip. 18-year-olds are adults! Your fiance's behavior is totally normal. Why do you think two of the most popular franchises in porn are "Barely Legal" and "Girls Gone Wild" (which is mostly college age girls)?
Porn is mostly about fantasy. Come on, guys want to fantasize with girls at their best, and the college age years (18 to 23) are the best for physical looks -- boobs are perkier, skin is tighter, and there's an aura of innocence, which fits with most fantasies.
If you're OK with porn, there should be nothing disgusting about legal age teens. Stop acting like an old fart.
But I'm puzzled about the site you mentioned -- it's not porn!
Labels: babysitter, fiance, porn
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
He is looking at porn all the time
Julie, 23, from Michigan asks:
I got married almost a year ago now and I love my husband to death. The problem is that I found out lately that he is looking at porn all the time. This really bothers me and I told him but he basically told me to "grow up" and that it wasn't a big deal. He doesn't understand (or seem to care) what a big deal I think this is. What can I do about it? Or am I overreacting?
VictorM's advice:
No, you're not overreacting. Aside from the porn-watching, your husband's answer for you to "grow up" is an unfortunate reply that unveils both lack of maturity and concern for your feelings.
What you can do, and should do, is to continue to express your personal feelings without pointing a finger or accusing him of wrong-doing. Repeat as often as necessary things like "I don't like it", "I wish you didn't", "It's not the moral environment I want", etc. At some point, your husband will have to decide if his quest for lust is more important than your feelings.
How he reacts, will, in the long run, determine if you will continue to love him to death or not.
I got married almost a year ago now and I love my husband to death. The problem is that I found out lately that he is looking at porn all the time. This really bothers me and I told him but he basically told me to "grow up" and that it wasn't a big deal. He doesn't understand (or seem to care) what a big deal I think this is. What can I do about it? Or am I overreacting?
VictorM's advice:
No, you're not overreacting. Aside from the porn-watching, your husband's answer for you to "grow up" is an unfortunate reply that unveils both lack of maturity and concern for your feelings.
What you can do, and should do, is to continue to express your personal feelings without pointing a finger or accusing him of wrong-doing. Repeat as often as necessary things like "I don't like it", "I wish you didn't", "It's not the moral environment I want", etc. At some point, your husband will have to decide if his quest for lust is more important than your feelings.
How he reacts, will, in the long run, determine if you will continue to love him to death or not.
