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Monday, January 22, 2007
Lied to protect him
sarah, 22, from uk asks:
My boyfriend wants me to convince him that not everything come out of my mouth is a lie. How can I convince him that it well be better this time? I love him a lot and I don't want to lose him because I lied to him three times only to protect him from getting hurt.
VictorM's advice:
Stop telling lies. Duh!
You need to establish a pattern of telling the truth for him to believe you. You can tell him you learned from your mistakes and won't do it again, but that would be a lie -- the truth is you will lie again. Why? Because unless and until you learn to face the consequences of unpleasant truths your first impulse will be to lie.
You may stand a better chance at explaining why you lie and it's never with malice, but you will work on it. But if he's not mature enough to understand that you'll be a work in progress, you two are in for some rough times.
My boyfriend wants me to convince him that not everything come out of my mouth is a lie. How can I convince him that it well be better this time? I love him a lot and I don't want to lose him because I lied to him three times only to protect him from getting hurt.
VictorM's advice:
Stop telling lies. Duh!
You need to establish a pattern of telling the truth for him to believe you. You can tell him you learned from your mistakes and won't do it again, but that would be a lie -- the truth is you will lie again. Why? Because unless and until you learn to face the consequences of unpleasant truths your first impulse will be to lie.
You may stand a better chance at explaining why you lie and it's never with malice, but you will work on it. But if he's not mature enough to understand that you'll be a work in progress, you two are in for some rough times.
Labels: advice, answer, boyfriend, girlfriend, lies, lying
