|
Our discussion forum is open for business. Come say hello. |
Saturday, December 23, 2006
He ended up being caught by one of my friends
amber, from va asks:
I posted here before in regards to my boyfriend. You were right, he ended up being caught by one of my friends and he finally told me he has been seeing another girl the whole time we have been dating. Then to make it worse, like a dummy I wanted to know why. He ended up telling me she was better in bed than me. He said I didn't know enough, blah, blah. I am so upset because I love him. I feel like he couldn't love me if he could cheat and couldn't love me if he thinks I suck in bed. It has given me a complex. It hurts to hear the one you love tell you someone else is better than you. What do I do other than cry? I have never been through this before. Thanks for listening to me. btw-- he keeps telling me he messed up and he doesn't want to lose me. I am scared if i stay, he would do it again.
VictorM's advice:
You are right about one thing: asking him why was a dumb question. Guys don't tell the truth when asked that question. They usually lie so as not to hurt the girl's feelings. Your guy, however, was a bigger coward. He was only thinking of himself when he talked about you in bed. He saw it as a way to justify his actions, but clearly he's lying.
Cheaters don't cheat because they are not satisfied with their partner or because someone else is better, whatever that means; they cheat because they can't control their lust. Cheating is all about the cheater, not the partner. He tried to make you the "bad guy" and that sucks big time. So don't fall pray to his words of deceit and try not to let it affect your opinion about yourself.
You'd be making a huge mistake to go back with him; he will cheat on you again.
Take your chances with someone new even if it will take some time to get over this jerk.
I posted here before in regards to my boyfriend. You were right, he ended up being caught by one of my friends and he finally told me he has been seeing another girl the whole time we have been dating. Then to make it worse, like a dummy I wanted to know why. He ended up telling me she was better in bed than me. He said I didn't know enough, blah, blah. I am so upset because I love him. I feel like he couldn't love me if he could cheat and couldn't love me if he thinks I suck in bed. It has given me a complex. It hurts to hear the one you love tell you someone else is better than you. What do I do other than cry? I have never been through this before. Thanks for listening to me. btw-- he keeps telling me he messed up and he doesn't want to lose me. I am scared if i stay, he would do it again.
VictorM's advice:
You are right about one thing: asking him why was a dumb question. Guys don't tell the truth when asked that question. They usually lie so as not to hurt the girl's feelings. Your guy, however, was a bigger coward. He was only thinking of himself when he talked about you in bed. He saw it as a way to justify his actions, but clearly he's lying.
Cheaters don't cheat because they are not satisfied with their partner or because someone else is better, whatever that means; they cheat because they can't control their lust. Cheating is all about the cheater, not the partner. He tried to make you the "bad guy" and that sucks big time. So don't fall pray to his words of deceit and try not to let it affect your opinion about yourself.
You'd be making a huge mistake to go back with him; he will cheat on you again.
Take your chances with someone new even if it will take some time to get over this jerk.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
I like this guy at work. He has a girlfriend
Alicia, 25, from Rhode Island asks:
I like this guy at work. He has a girlfriend and he knows that I like him. I was upfront with him about my feelings. We ended up fooling around once and after that he said he loves his girlfriend and he only did that for me. We didn't talk much after that until recently. He is always flirting with me and touching me. If I don't see him at work for a few days, he will say he has missed me. The other day he asked me when I was going to invite him over and I said never you have a girlfriend and made it clear to me we are just friends. He said to me that he wished he never said that. I just don't get it. I don't know if he's playing with my head. In my mind I want him to like me because he has my heart. I really enjoy his company I just don't know what he wants from me. I don't know what to do.
VictorM's advice:
You're counting on him being so into you that he dumps this girlfriend he supposedly loves to be with you. And you'll live happily ever after... until he cheats on you, that is. What else do you expect from a guy who cheats on his girlfriend and flirts with another girl?
If you get him, you lose! You'll be on your way to being an unhappy woman with some cheating man.
What he wants from you is simple: his ego inflated (not to mention other parts of his body). He toys with you because he can, yet another sign of a man you should avoid.
I like this guy at work. He has a girlfriend and he knows that I like him. I was upfront with him about my feelings. We ended up fooling around once and after that he said he loves his girlfriend and he only did that for me. We didn't talk much after that until recently. He is always flirting with me and touching me. If I don't see him at work for a few days, he will say he has missed me. The other day he asked me when I was going to invite him over and I said never you have a girlfriend and made it clear to me we are just friends. He said to me that he wished he never said that. I just don't get it. I don't know if he's playing with my head. In my mind I want him to like me because he has my heart. I really enjoy his company I just don't know what he wants from me. I don't know what to do.
VictorM's advice:
You're counting on him being so into you that he dumps this girlfriend he supposedly loves to be with you. And you'll live happily ever after... until he cheats on you, that is. What else do you expect from a guy who cheats on his girlfriend and flirts with another girl?
If you get him, you lose! You'll be on your way to being an unhappy woman with some cheating man.
What he wants from you is simple: his ego inflated (not to mention other parts of his body). He toys with you because he can, yet another sign of a man you should avoid.
Labels: cheat, cheater, coworker, flirt
