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Monday, February 19, 2007
He wanted to ask me to be his girlfriend
Ash, 17, from USA asks:
I've known this guy since I was eight years old. A couple of weeks ago his best friend told me he wanted to ask me to be his girlfriend. So I went to the guy and asked him about it, and he sounded kind of mad at his friend but told me that he did want to ask me to be his girlfriend, but he needed time. So I gave him time and a week later he told me he changed his mind, saying that he wanted to nurture our friendship more, and that he was busy right now with work and school. He told me later he wants a relationship with me as much as I want one with him, and he always tells me that he wants me in his life. Does he really want a relationship with me or should I move on?
VictorM's answer:
You blew it when you approached him. You took the fun out of the conquest. At this age, more than anything else, boys like to do things to beat their chest and brag to their friends. Getting the one girl no one thinks he can get is such a thing. But when a girl is a sure thing, some of the fun is lost. That's what you became, the sure-thing. So he's torn between liking you and the male need for conquest.
You don't have to move on, but you should behave as if you are. I bet he'll chase then.
I've known this guy since I was eight years old. A couple of weeks ago his best friend told me he wanted to ask me to be his girlfriend. So I went to the guy and asked him about it, and he sounded kind of mad at his friend but told me that he did want to ask me to be his girlfriend, but he needed time. So I gave him time and a week later he told me he changed his mind, saying that he wanted to nurture our friendship more, and that he was busy right now with work and school. He told me later he wants a relationship with me as much as I want one with him, and he always tells me that he wants me in his life. Does he really want a relationship with me or should I move on?
VictorM's answer:
You blew it when you approached him. You took the fun out of the conquest. At this age, more than anything else, boys like to do things to beat their chest and brag to their friends. Getting the one girl no one thinks he can get is such a thing. But when a girl is a sure thing, some of the fun is lost. That's what you became, the sure-thing. So he's torn between liking you and the male need for conquest.
You don't have to move on, but you should behave as if you are. I bet he'll chase then.
Labels: advice, answer, bragging, just friend, move on, relationship
