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Sunday, December 10, 2006
Apology
Nicole, 22, from Utah asks:
Hi, my ex has been gone for a little over 2 years now and I have been trying to find him. He doesn't keep in contact with his family hardly at all anymore and I guess he got into drugs real bad after he left. Does the drugs thing mean that he was really hurt and he is trying to deal with it? Also, I was wondering, how do I know if he even wants to be found by me? It is driving me nuts and I have to apologize to him. Please help me.
VictorM's advice:
Leave your ex-boyfriend alone. Your quest to find him and apologise is fueled by selfishness. Your aim is to free yourself from guilt, not based on concern for him, even if you think it is.
He got into drugs because of his lack of willpower and/or self-destructive personality. To believe his downfall is because of you is either excessive guilt or narcissism.
You two broke-up. He went his way. What he does or doesn't do is none of your fault and none of your concern now. Keep it that way.
Hi, my ex has been gone for a little over 2 years now and I have been trying to find him. He doesn't keep in contact with his family hardly at all anymore and I guess he got into drugs real bad after he left. Does the drugs thing mean that he was really hurt and he is trying to deal with it? Also, I was wondering, how do I know if he even wants to be found by me? It is driving me nuts and I have to apologize to him. Please help me.
VictorM's advice:
Leave your ex-boyfriend alone. Your quest to find him and apologise is fueled by selfishness. Your aim is to free yourself from guilt, not based on concern for him, even if you think it is.
He got into drugs because of his lack of willpower and/or self-destructive personality. To believe his downfall is because of you is either excessive guilt or narcissism.
You two broke-up. He went his way. What he does or doesn't do is none of your fault and none of your concern now. Keep it that way.
Labels: apology, drugs, ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, guilt
