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Saturday, May 26, 2007
Creamy salad dressing
A judge has ordered a 17-year-old to pay a $750 fine and perform 120 hours of community service for contaminating salad dressing with semen and returning it to a suburban Chicago high school's cafeteria... [Marco] Castro... admitted taking a bottle of ranch salad dressing from the school cafeteria to the bathroom and ejaculating into it, and then returning it to the cafeteria where juniors and seniors eat lunch... There were no reported cases of illness following the incident.There's a blonde joke here waiting to be made.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Fiance's Van Dumped in Harbor
WHITEHAVEN, England (May 18) - Plans for the wedding have been sunk - along with the prospective groom's clothes, CDs, DVDs and his van.Tags: angry fiance, van dumped, boobs
Police in northwestern England have arrested Emma Thomason, 24, after she allegedly packed her partner's possessions into his van, drove to the harbor and left off the hand brake Sunday. She was charged with aggravated vehicle-taking without consent and released on bail.
The incident reportedly followed an argument between Thomason and Jason Wilson, 24, her partner of seven years and the father of her two children.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
My Pepper Spray Beats Your Pepper Spray
HOT SPRINGS, Ark. -- Police said Lawanda Diane Clay, 38, produced a can of pepper spray when two officers were investigating a disturbance complaint... Clay refused to drop the can, and Cpl. Carl Holland used his own pepper spray on her, police said. Clay responded by allegedly spraying Holland and then the other officer, Patrick Langley, police said... Clay was originally going to be charged with disorderly conduct, according to police. She now faces felony battery and drug charges, plus misdemeanor charges.
Monday, May 07, 2007
He's not dying, after all
LONDON (Reuters) - A British man who went on a wild spending spree after doctors said he only had a short time to live wants compensation because the diagnosis was wrong and he is now healthy -- but broke.
John Brandrick, 62, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two years ago and told that he would probably die within a year.He quit his job, sold or gave away nearly all his possessions, stopped paying his mortgage and spent his savings dining out and going on holiday.
Brandrick was left with little more than the black suit, white shirt and red tie that he had planned to be buried in when it emerged a year later that his suspected "tumor" was no more than a non-life threatening inflammation of the pancreas.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Curry that tasted like crap
A disgruntled wife has admitted feeding her husband a curry containing dog excrement after their relationship broke down.Next time you tell your wife her cooking tastes like shit, pay attention to her face. If she's grinning, you better reach for toilet paper instead of a napkin.Jill Martin, 47, pleaded guilty at Paisley Sheriff Court to culpable and reckless conduct against former husband Donald Martin...
At first she claimed she had laced the dish with arsenic but then confessed she had added dog excrement instead.The court heard that the couple had been married for 21 years but in recent years their relationship "had hit an all time low".
Tags: boobs, dog shit, curry, dog excrement, bad marriage
