Police arrested a man who picked up a dead alligator and tried to butcher it on his front lawn, saying he only wanted a new belt. Benjamin Hodges, 35, said he found the dead gator floating in the Hillsborough River on Sunday and took it home in a shopping cart. He figures it was 4 feet or 5 feet long. Just as Hodges flopped the carcass on the ground and started to cut it open, officers showed up and arrested him. An anonymous caller had reported him to the state wildlife agency... “I didn’t think there was anything illegal about skinning a dead gator,” he told The Tampa Tribune.

Telephones typically ring, not tick, so a man who went to the post office to pick up a novelty phone he ordered over the Internet was alarmed that the package was ticking.

It turned out that the phone - shaped like Winnie the Pooh - had a feature the customer didn't know about: An incoming call causes Winnie's head to spin, and the feature apparently had been activated during shipping.

The ticking that prompted evacuation of the Wright City post office Thursday morning was Winnie's head repeatedly hitting the side of the package, said Cpl. Julie Scerine, a spokeswoman for the Missouri Highway Patrol.

Gregory Daniels, 48, was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of burglary for the attempted heist from Pomona Ranch Market, police said.

Authorities say Daniels and another man drove up to the market about 3 a.m., smashed a window, wrapped a chain around the ATM and used the pickup to rip it from the floor. After loading the cash machine into the truck, the pair drove off.

Officers chased the truck into a residential neighborhood, where the men drove into a dead-end street. Daniels’ alleged accomplice fled, but police said Daniels wasn’t able to escape.

“Daniels was on the ground near the vehicle in an attempt to flee from officers,” Sgt. E. Vazquez said. “However, he was unsuccessful, as his prosthetic leg fell off.”

A Japanese man angry that a new apartment building put his house in the shade was arrested after shooting about a dozen bullets at it with a competition rifle... "He felt the building management didn't take a sincere attitude toward his complaints that the building was keeping sunlight from reaching his house."

Officer John Seals found Melissa Byrum York, 40, of Henagar on horseback on a nearby road and attempted to stop her. Seals asked the woman repeatedly to get off the horse, but she kept trying to kick the animal to make it run, the chief said.

"She wouldn't stop. She kept riding the horse and going on," Gregg said.

After ramming the police car with the horse and riding away, the woman tried to jump off but caught her foot in a stirrup, Gregg said. The officer took the woman into custody and discovered that she had crystal methamphetamine, a small amount of marijuana, pills and a small pipe, the chief said.

York was charged with DUI for allegedly riding the horse under the influence of a controlled substance. She was also charged with drug possession, possession of drug paraphernalia, resisting arrest, assault, attempting to elude police and cruelty to animals.

Gregg said the horse, which belonged to York, "wasn't in the best of health, but it's still alive."

Labels: boobs, dui, riding a horse

The gin and tonic bandit went to the same restaurant each Wednesday, ordered two drinks and a rib-eye steak, then skipped out on his $25.96 bill... Each Wednesday night for four weeks running, the same man came into the same O'Charley's restaurant and ordered the two drinks and the steak, restaurant manager Teresa Tolbert told police.

At the end of each meal, the wait staff would present him with his bill for $25.96, and he would excuse himself to use the restroom, then skip out without paying.

The man appeared a fifth time Wednesday night, but the restaurant was ready for him, police said.

When his server presented the bill, he again claimed he needed to use the bathroom. But when he walked out of the restaurant, four employees were waiting for him. They confronted him about the unpaid bill, which he offered to pay with a check, police said.

After Tolbert told him the restaurant didn't accept checks, the man "got nervous and ran," according to the police report.

Officer Randy Gehlhausen caught up with the man as he was trying to open his car door. The diner struggled with Gehlhausen, who wrestled him to the ground and handcuffed him.

Labels: boobs, dumb criminals