Boobs robbing a bank

The thief had the bank-robbing part down, putting his finger in his pocket to simulate a gun at a northeast Nevada bank on Tuesday. It was the getaway that proved a bit more difficult. The suspect, identified as Keith Woodall, 65, made it only about 30 feet outside the downtown branch of the Great Basin Bank in Elko before police nabbed him... Woodall was in possession of the money when he was apprehended and no weapon was found... he told one officer, "I just wanted to go back to jail."

Labels: boobs, stupid bank robber, stupid criminal

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Keep it short, and don't mention sex or drunkenness -- those are the new rules for eulogies at funeral masses in Australia's Catholic church. An increase in the number of inappropriate comments at funeral masses has prompted Australia's most senior Catholic, Cardinal George Pell, to impose a five-minute deadline on eulogies and deem some areas of a person's life off limits... On not a few occasions, inappropriate remarks glossing over the deceased's proclivities (drinking prowess, romantic conquests etc) or about the Church (attacking its moral teachings) have been made at funeral masses," Pell's new guidelines say... The new guidelines say anecdotes, poems or songs, might be better kept for services at the cemetery or crematorium, or for a vigil prayer service the night before a funeral.

Labels: australia, boobs, catholic, funerals, george pell

A routine appendix operation in Belgrade went badly wrong when two surgeons started fighting and stormed from the operating theater to settle their dispute outside... Surgeon Spasoje Radulovic was operating when his colleague Dragan Vukanic entered and made a remark that started a quarrel, said the anesthesiologist on duty. "At one moment Vukanic pulled the ear of the operating doctor, slapped him in the face and walked out," she said. Radulovic followed and an all-out fight ensued, resulting in bruises, a split lip, loose teeth and a fractured finger. The operation was completed successfully by the attending assistant doctor.

Labels: boobs, doctors, fight

Israeli police investigating why a car was blocking traffic in the fast lane of a major highway Sunday found a couple inside having sex. A police spokesman said the female driver and her male passenger gave in to their passions without pulling over to the side of the road, causing congestion and leaving other motorists having to swerve to dodge their stationary vehicle. A patrolman gave the woman a ticket for holding up traffic.

Labels: boobs, highway, sex

Maria Estela Lima... said a 10-yard-long (10-meter-long) snake had grabbed her husband from a boat on the Paraguay river, and wrapped him up before swallowing him. She said two local men killed the boa to remove her husband's remains, and she asked the community for help to maintain her three small children. The story spread quickly and was on the front covers of Paraguay's newspapers, but Pedro Palacio, a state prosecutor who looked into the case told reporters the husband had been found in perfect health working on a ranch. Palacio said Lima made up the story to get attention and because she felt abandoned.

Labels: boa, boobs, paraguay

A male lawyer who appeared in court dressed in women's clothes as a protest against what he said was New Zealand's overly masculine judiciary was suspended Wednesday after being found to be in contempt of court... The High Court found Rob Moodie, a 68-year-old, balding man who appeared in court in dresses and toting a handbag, was in contempt for circulating suppressed documents outside the court in one of his cases. Moodie officially changed his name to "Miss Alice" as part of his protest against the "old boys network" that he said runs the nation's judiciary.

Labels: boobs, courtroom, drag, lawyers, new zealand

Two teenage girls posted a fake announcement on their school district's Web site that said school was closed for the day due to winter weather, police said. The notice, posted Monday, confused many parents — snow was not in the forecast — and persuaded some students to stay home... The company that runs the Web site, RCH Networks Inc., said the system was not hacked into because no security breach was detected. Administrators say the girls must have somehow gotten the password. RCH helped the district track down the girls by supplying the identification numbers from computers that accessed the system, which authorities could then track to the girls' homes.

Labels: boobs, hoax, snow day, teen girls

TAMPA, Fla. - Genevieve Chandler has been visiting the Lowry Park Zoo since she was a kid, but the tour she got the other night was definitely not the G-rated fare of her childhood. Among the things Chandler, 30, and her date learned on their "Wild at Heart" zoo tour: Male pigs have a unique corkscrew endowment and impressive, um, output; manatees have orgies and don't really care if their partners are male or female; and a male porcupine has only one four-hour window a year to mate - very carefully, of course. Valentine's Day is the time of year when zoos around the nation seek to woo a new adult audience with risque tours that couple champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries and candlelight dining with impressive facts about how animals do the wild thing.

Labels: animals, boobs, sex, zoo

A teenager who wanted to continue the family tradition of running around the garden barefoot during halftime of the Super Bowl game has learned a painful lesson. It was 17 below zero at halftime Sunday in this city about 30 miles northwest of Minneapolis, and D.J. Brown's dad said it was too cold to continue the tradition. But the 18-year-old senior at Buffalo High School ran outside in his T-shirt and jeans, threw off his socks and shoes, and ran around the block... Brown said he was outside only five minutes, but his feet started swelling and blistering when he got back inside. The pain was excruciating... He was treated for second-degree frostbite on both feet at the burn center.

Labels: boobs, stupidity