Boobs with alcohol:

German police arrested a man for drunk driving after he mistook a police spot check for a breakdown and stopped to help. Officers inspecting a car by the roadside suspected the 37-year-old passing motorist was under the influence of alcohol when he lurched from his vehicle to offer assistance... "Obviously his optical assessment of the situation as he drove past was that this was a vehicle breakdown," the police said in a statement. The man was arrested and banned from driving.

Labels: boobs, drunk

Boobs, gas, and prison

NORTH PLATTE (AP)— Brian Bruggeman caused a stink at the Lincoln County Jail earlier this month and will now have to answer for it in court. Another inmate, Jesse Dorris, alleges that Bruggeman's flatulence, passed in close proximity to Dorris, sparked a Dec. 14 fight between the two at the jail... The two began scuffling... because Dorris was fed up with Bruggeman's flatulence... Sheriff Jerome Kramer said... "You just can't get a reprieve from one another... When you've got a guy causing problems passing gas, there's no way to get away from the smell."

Labels: boobs, dumb criminals

Boobs and Christmas

NEW YORK - There's nobody nice on this Christmas list:

David Allen Rodgers, 42, was arrested Dec. 3 for driving while intoxicated - at the wheel of a float during the annual Christmas parade in Anderson, S.C. According to witnesses, Rodgers sped down Main Street in the Steppin' Out Dance Studio float with 19 people aboard, ran a red light and led police on a 3-mile chase.

In Chicago, 32 plastic baby Jesus dolls were stolen from nativity scenes set up in people's front yards. The kidnappers then lined up all the dolls along the fence outside a Chicago woman's home; she rounded them up and turned them over to her parish priest.

In Houghton, Mich., somebody stole an inflatable Grinch from outside an apartment complex. That was just one instance in the area's rash of seasonal thievery: Two brown plastic reindeer, a baby Jesus statue and several wreaths were also stolen.

In Ohio's Hamilton County, a pair of 18-year-olds were arrested for using screwdrivers to stab an inflatable 12-foot-tall Frosty the Snowman. "Why me?" asked Frosty's owner, Matt Williquette. "And why Frosty?" The snowman had survived two previous stabbing attacks.

An Oklahoma woman was arrested after she visited the Delaware County Jail with a Christmas card for her incarcerated boyfriend. Police said the card held marijuana, leading to Dawn Smith's arrest.

A motorcycle-riding Santa Claus with a stuffed Rudolph in his sidecar was arrested after allegedly grabbing an 8-year-old girl from outside a South Carolina convenience store. John Michael Barton, 55, was in his Claus outfit filling his bike with gas when the girl's family stopped by the store. The girl's father then saw Barton speeding off with her. After a chase at speeds of up to 80 mph, Barton pulled over his motorcycle and turned over the girl, police said. Barton was arrested later, hiding inside a bar.

Labels: boobs, christmas, dumb criminals, naughty

Boobs at the airport:

LOS ANGELES - A woman mistakenly put her 1-month-old grandson through an X-ray machine at Los Angeles International Airport, authorities said. A startled security worker noticed the shape of a child on the carry-on baggage screening monitor and immediately pulled him out... The infant was taken to a local hospital, where doctors determined he did not receive a dangerous dose of radiation.

Labels: airport, boobs, security

Boobs with a gun

A man who shot his Great Dane in the head may have his jail sentence reduced if he dresses up as a dog. Municipal Judge Michael Cicconetti offered Thursday to cut Robert M. Clark's sentence to 10 days in jail if he wears a Safety Pup costume and visits the city's five elementary schools. The mascot educates children about issues ranging from traffic safety to drug abuse... Clark was arrested July 3 after neighbors reported hearing the dog's cries and police found the injured animal. The humane society took the dog to an emergency veterinary clinic, but he suffered brain damage and had to be euthanized, the group said.

Labels: animal, cruelty, gun

Boobs in school

Stephen Murmer's secret career as an artist has caught up with him. Murmer, a popular high school art teacher, was suspended after objections were raised about his private abstract artwork, much of which includes smearing his posterior and genitals with paint and pressing them against canvas... Murmer went to great lengths to keep his work life separate from his activities as an artist, said ACLU executive director Kent Willis. As an artist, he goes by the name "Stan Murmur," and appears in disguise in photographs and videos promoting his art... In response to questions about his disguise, Murmer said: "I do have a real job where I do have real clients and I don't think they'd be too understanding if I was also the guy who painted with my ass."

Owning a piece of Murmer's art doesn't come cheap. On his Web site, his
creations run upward of $900. His most popular piece, "Tulip Butts," goes for
$600. Butt Print Art: http://buttprintart.com/

In this story you get to make up your mind who the boobs are: the art teacher or those who suspended him.

Labels: art, boobs, teacher

Boobs and marijuana

WICHITA, Kan. - A Wichita man called 911 to report he was the victim of an armed robbery. The theft? A pound of marijuana worth about $1,100 that he had been trying to sell at his home. The victim told police Thursday that a buyer had pulled out a sawed-off shotgun and stole the drugs. Police brought in a drug-sniffing dog to the house and located more marijuana and drug paraphernalia. The victim was booked into Sedgwick County jail on several charges, including possession with the intent to sell drug.

Labels: 911, boobs, marijuana

Boobs on a bicycle

BERLIN - A German cyclist lied to police about being mugged because he was afraid to tell his wife the truth: he rode into a lamppost while drunk and injured himself. The man, 30, called police and said he had been mugged by six youths while walking home... Police became suspicious after finding a wire fence behind the bushes and, Grimm said, the man then "admitted he had made it all up as a cover story because he was afraid of his wife."

Boobs and a pig

WEST POINT, Miss. - When pigs fly, indeed. Kevin Pugh, 20, of Cedar Bluff has been fined $279 for tossing a pig over the counter at the Holiday Inn Express in West Point on Nov. 12. Pugh pleaded guilty Tuesday in city court to a charge of disturbing the peace. West Point Police Lt. Danny McCaskill has said Pugh didn't know the employees of the hotel. There was no evidence intoxication was a factor. No one was hurt, including the pig, officers said.

Boobs and bingo

A grandmother found with a trunkful of marijuana was convicted of drug running in what prosecutors said was an attempt to earn cash for a bingo habit. State troopers found 10 bundles of pot totaling 214 pounds hidden in Leticia Villareal Garcia’s car trunk last year when they stopped her outside Bisbee, in far southeastern Arizona... “People who play bingo almost every night of the week end up losing in the long run,” Johnstun told jurors. “The underlying issue is that she’s got a bingo problem, which explains why an otherwise nice person might get sucked into something like this.”