DUBLIN, Ireland - Irish police have told a man dubbed Ireland’s dumbest crook to give up his disastrous criminal career before it gets the better of him... Police took the man into custody and to the hospital over the weekend after he was hit by a truck while making a getaway from a betting shop robbery... He has also been plucked from a chimney where he became stuck while trying to burgle a house, and from the ceiling of a bank where he was pinned by a security device. When they arrived at the bank he was dangling by one leg and stuffing cash into his underpants. “Go straight before you kill yourself,” the Sun quoted Dublin police as having told him.

A West Fargo man arrested for drunken driving three times in less than a week faces several charges, including one felony. Kenny Thomas, 45, was picked up in Fargo on Wednesday, Nov. 18 and Nov. 16. One of the incidents involved a hit-and-run accident, police said. Thomas is charged with felony driving under the influence, open container of alcohol in a vehicle, driving under suspension and leaving the scene of an accident, Sgt. Jeff Skuza said.

PHILADELPHIA - A man who mailed a bomb to a doctor because he was angry about how his penis enlargement surgery turned out was sentenced Tuesday to four years and 10 months in prison. Blake Steidler, 25, of Reamstown, put the bomb in the mail on Feb. 11, 2005, in North Bloomfield, Ohio, addressed to the doctor in Chicago. After returning home, he called 911 and told police what he had done. The bomb was retrieved from the mail and destroyed; no one was injured.

SAN FRANCISCO Nov 19, 2006 (AP)— Two peace activists have planned a massive anti-war demonstration for the first day of winter. But they don't want you marching in the streets. They'd much rather you just stay home. The Global Orgasm for Peace was conceived by Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Reffell, 55, whose immodest goal is for everyone in the world to have an orgasm Dec. 22 while focusing on world peace... The couple are no strangers to sex and social activism. Sheehan, no relation to anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan, brought together nearly 50 women in 2002 who stripped naked and spelled out the word "Peace." ... The couple said interest appears strong, with 26,000 hits a day to their Web site, http://www.globalorgasm.org.

WICHITA, Kan. Nov 16, 2006 (AP)— A botched kidnapping ended with one of the assailants shooting himself in the groin, police said. The man had just stuck the gun in his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle, authorities said. He cringed, causing the gun to fire again and strike him in the left calf, they said. The 23-year-old man managed to walk into a hospital for treatment. He and his two alleged accomplices, ages 18 and 20, were arrested on attempted kidnapping charges. They were accused of trying to kidnap a teenager in a dispute over stereo speakers.

A man was rushed to hospital in Britain with severe internal injuries after trying to launch a powerful firework from his bottom... Footage of the incident in Sunderland, north-east England, was captured on a mobile phone by a gang of youths and shows a white flash followed by hysterical laughter and a youth shouting: "Ha ha ha ha," followed by an expletive. A spokesman for the North East ambulance service said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding." He is now recovering in a Sunderland hospital after sustaining internal injuries including a scorched colon.

An unknown man has been bugging women and police by using an insect story to try to persuade women to disrobe. Police said the man, who remains at large, has told female workers in at least seven businesses they have a tick on their clothes and should remove clothing to find it... Hali Frankowski was working recently at Sunset Tan in Waukesha when the man came in and asked her to show him the tanning beds. At one point the man told her she had a tick on her shirt, she said. "He was like 'It's right there.' That's when he took my pants, pulled them down, pulled them over, and that's when I jumped and started walking toward the bathroom," she said. The man left, leaving her stunned.

A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors — naked — and he told them he had a tool in his rectum... The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path... John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked whether he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool... Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident... “When you’re talking about an awl or an ice pick and you’re dealing with somebody who’s fresh out of prison, it’s a weapon. That’s a stabbing instrument,” [Detective] Horgan said.

Police Chief Paul Goward was tired of looking around his department and seeing blubber hanging over the belts of some of his officers. So he sent out a memo exhorting the "jelly bellies" to shape up. In the end, the department lost 190 pounds — all of them belonging to Goward. He was forced out as chief because some of his officers took offense at the memo. In his memo, titled "Are You a Jelly Belly," the chief never singled anyone out, and apart from the title, didn't call anyone names. Instead, he provided a list of 10 reasons police officers should be in shape.