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Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Amsterdam hosts open house
Here's a story with lots of boobs involved. Really, real boobs:
I don't see a big problem with this, after all, the White House has open house days too.AMSTERDAM - Amsterdam’s famed red-light district held its first ever “open day” on Saturday as its peep-shows and brothels gave crowds of wide-eyed visitors free entry to help shed the area’s increasingly negative reputation... hundreds of tourists and locals seized the opportunity to see a prostitute’s bedroom, watch a brief live peep-show or chat to a lap dancer... “The open day is partly to promote the red-light district but also to help change the image of the area because we think it is too negative,” said organizer Mariska Majoor, a former prostitute who now runs an information center on the district.
Monday, February 27, 2006
School pig castration
Somebody is a pig and a boob in this story:
ROSAMOND, Calif. - A teacher who castrated a live pig in front of her high school class is the target of protests by animal rights activists throughout the country... Rod Van Norman, superintendent of the Southern Kern Unified School District school in the Mojave Desert about 70 miles north of Los Angeles, said animal castrations often occur in agriculture classes and are an important skill for students to learn. "I don't know why they're picking on a little school district," he said... A posting on PETA's Web site, however, says the organization learned of the castration from Rosamond parents, who reported that one student vomited after observing the procedure and others were extremely upset.How about performing a castration on the superintendent? There's got to be a lesson there somewhere.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Newlywed carjacking
Can't deny this boob his boobdom credentials:
SAN MATEO, Calif. - A man accused of carjacking a newlywed couple with the bride in her wedding dress still in the vehicle was sentenced to three years in prison... Alan Ticas-Soto, 22, initially pleaded not guilty... but changed it to a plea of no contest... Authorities said Steve Almanza and Valerie Zahn stopped by a Taco Bell for a snack after their wedding... and Almanza ran inside while Zahn stayed in the car with the engine still running. Ticas-Soto, who was unarmed, got into the driver's seat and drove off with Zahn still inside... She jumped out, and Ticas-Soto continued driving into a Taco Bell sign in the parking lot.How cheap was this reception that they had to stop at Taco Bell? Let this be a lesson to those planning to web. Tara... Anne... are you reading this? Don't be cheap!
Friday, February 24, 2006
Girl weds dog to ward off 'evil eye'
Full story here:
Maybe this practice is common all over, not just India. Could this be why Britney Spears went to Las Vegas? Would this explain Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett? And Rush Limbaugh has been married a few times, hasn't he? Um...
NEW DELHI - A 7-year-old girl wed a stray dog as part of a ritual to ward off the "evil eye" on her and her family in eastern India... Shivam Munda's upper teeth appeared before her lower teeth - considered a bad omen by members of the Santhal ethnic group to which she belongs... Kundan Munda, a coal mine worker, said his daughter married the dog only to "remove the evil eye," a superstitious belief that some misfortune could befall her and the family, and that she would be free to marry a man later.Well, that last sentence is a relief. Who wouldn't want to have those in-laws?
Maybe this practice is common all over, not just India. Could this be why Britney Spears went to Las Vegas? Would this explain Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett? And Rush Limbaugh has been married a few times, hasn't he? Um...
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Attention, Attention.
Alright, peeps. I know you've had some strange crap happen to you. You can't tell me you've never had a humiliating, embarrassing moment in your life. You're not that blessed. Sorry. But you're not.
So take a minute from your boring work day and use the little Submit section to the left to enlighten us, and make our days all a little big happier. We all like laughing at each other. Throw us a bone.
So take a minute from your boring work day and use the little Submit section to the left to enlighten us, and make our days all a little big happier. We all like laughing at each other. Throw us a bone.
Sheriff orders undercoverus interruptus
They went out looking for boobs and voila, they became the boobs:
SPOTSYLVANIA, Va. - The sheriff said Friday he will no longer allow detectives to receive sexual services while investigating suspected prostitution after they spent $1,200 at massage parlors last month and sparked a public outcry... county detectives allowed women at Moon Spa to perform sex acts on them — once leaving a $350 tip. A total of $1,200 was spent during the visits.I thought the criminals were the ones that were suppose to 'stick them up'.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Real observant, Dan.
Story submitted by Dan from California:
"I went to dinner at a new Chinese restaurant. They were busy and the service was slow. Took a while to get my drink, then I waited and waited for my soup, then by the time my entree arrived I was pissed. The waiter had told me that my entree came with rice, but there was no rice to be seen, which meant another wait.
Angrily I called the waiter and complained that my rice hadn't come. He points to the middle of the table where there was a bowl of rice smack under my nose. Damn! Why I didn't I see that?
And of course I could hear the 3 girls on the table next to me giggling like idiots when the guy pointed to the rice. Perfect. "
"I went to dinner at a new Chinese restaurant. They were busy and the service was slow. Took a while to get my drink, then I waited and waited for my soup, then by the time my entree arrived I was pissed. The waiter had told me that my entree came with rice, but there was no rice to be seen, which meant another wait.
Angrily I called the waiter and complained that my rice hadn't come. He points to the middle of the table where there was a bowl of rice smack under my nose. Damn! Why I didn't I see that?
And of course I could hear the 3 girls on the table next to me giggling like idiots when the guy pointed to the rice. Perfect. "
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Continuing to give athletes a good name.
Story submitted by Jilly from Unknown-land, USA:
Three Benedictine College students were arrested Wednesday on multiple charges of criminal damage.
Apparently, this trio of young men, two of whom play football for Benedictine College, thought it would be fun to use a slingshot and marbles on Sunday night to bust out vehicle and business windows in the Atchison and Rushville, Mo., areas.
Not a particularly interesting story, until you hear some of the property belongs to the Atchison County Sheriff’s Office. Oops.
Apparently they didn’t see the logo on the side of the van they shot the rear window out of, or maybe they just thought they’d never get caught.
I don't think I'd admit that I went to college with these guys, but whatever.
Three Benedictine College students were arrested Wednesday on multiple charges of criminal damage.
Apparently, this trio of young men, two of whom play football for Benedictine College, thought it would be fun to use a slingshot and marbles on Sunday night to bust out vehicle and business windows in the Atchison and Rushville, Mo., areas.
Not a particularly interesting story, until you hear some of the property belongs to the Atchison County Sheriff’s Office. Oops.
Apparently they didn’t see the logo on the side of the van they shot the rear window out of, or maybe they just thought they’d never get caught.
I don't think I'd admit that I went to college with these guys, but whatever.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Ooooouch.
Painful story submitted by KP:
A Serbian man needed emergency surgery after sticking a pencil inside his penis to keep it stiff during sex.
Zeljko Tupic, from Belgrade, told doctors he had experienced erectile difficulties in the past.
So as he prepared for a night with his new lover, he decided to insert a thin pencil into his penis.
Tupic had to cut his sex session short when the pencil shifted and became lodged in his bladder, forcing him to call an ambulance.
"Tupic said he had no idea there were things like Viagra available but agreed that in future he will try pills before he takes any more chances with pencils."
Now, I'm not a guy or anything, but I'm having a hard time imagining how any male would think this was a good idea. What a dumbass.
A Serbian man needed emergency surgery after sticking a pencil inside his penis to keep it stiff during sex.
Zeljko Tupic, from Belgrade, told doctors he had experienced erectile difficulties in the past.
So as he prepared for a night with his new lover, he decided to insert a thin pencil into his penis.
Tupic had to cut his sex session short when the pencil shifted and became lodged in his bladder, forcing him to call an ambulance.
"Tupic said he had no idea there were things like Viagra available but agreed that in future he will try pills before he takes any more chances with pencils."
Now, I'm not a guy or anything, but I'm having a hard time imagining how any male would think this was a good idea. What a dumbass.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Not the brightest light in the room.
Story submitted by May from Utah:
"When Kory C. Tippetts, 18, returned home after work Monday evening, Jan. 30, 2006, he discovered someone had broken into his Orem home and stolen his marijuana. Tippetts, however, was going to get that marijuana back, even if it meant reporting his quarter-pound of illegal drugs to police, providing a possible suspect, and identifying the bag of weed in the presence of officers.
And that's exactly what he did.
It's "not very darn often" criminals such as Tippetts come along, stated Lt. Doug Edwards of the Orem Department of Public Safety. "Even the dumb criminals are generally smarter than this."
Hight was found to be in possession of six ounces of marijuana and arrested for burglary, theft, and possession of marijuana in a drug-free-zone with the intent to distribute."
Hey, at least dumb people make crime-fighting a wee bit easier in their neck of the woods. And did that copy really say "darn often"? I would have quoted that in my story too. Because that's darn awesome.
"When Kory C. Tippetts, 18, returned home after work Monday evening, Jan. 30, 2006, he discovered someone had broken into his Orem home and stolen his marijuana. Tippetts, however, was going to get that marijuana back, even if it meant reporting his quarter-pound of illegal drugs to police, providing a possible suspect, and identifying the bag of weed in the presence of officers.
And that's exactly what he did.
It's "not very darn often" criminals such as Tippetts come along, stated Lt. Doug Edwards of the Orem Department of Public Safety. "Even the dumb criminals are generally smarter than this."
Hight was found to be in possession of six ounces of marijuana and arrested for burglary, theft, and possession of marijuana in a drug-free-zone with the intent to distribute."
Hey, at least dumb people make crime-fighting a wee bit easier in their neck of the woods. And did that copy really say "darn often"? I would have quoted that in my story too. Because that's darn awesome.
Friday, February 10, 2006
cats will rule the world someday.
Story submitted by Lisa from Boston:
"He came from the streets of Brooklyn, a cool customer on four legs, the perfect bait for a sting on a fake veterinarian.
Meet Fred, undercover kitten.
Authorities on Wednesday introduced the 8-month-old former stray cat that posed as a would-be patient while police investigated a college student accused of treating pets without a license.
At a news conference, Fred sported a tiny badge on his collar as he posed for photos with owner Carol Moran, a prosecutor.
"He's pretty easygoing, a real Brooklyn guy," Moran said."
The rest of the story is a bit of a yawner - you just can't compete with a badge-wearing cat named Fred.
"He came from the streets of Brooklyn, a cool customer on four legs, the perfect bait for a sting on a fake veterinarian.
Meet Fred, undercover kitten.
Authorities on Wednesday introduced the 8-month-old former stray cat that posed as a would-be patient while police investigated a college student accused of treating pets without a license.
At a news conference, Fred sported a tiny badge on his collar as he posed for photos with owner Carol Moran, a prosecutor.
"He's pretty easygoing, a real Brooklyn guy," Moran said."
The rest of the story is a bit of a yawner - you just can't compete with a badge-wearing cat named Fred.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
big red dot.
Story submitted by Kate from Maine:
"I decided to be super gutsy for my senior prom and pull off a sleak, skin tight, full length white sheath. I got all ready and I looked hot. I had tanned for months to get the perfect complexion. I'd spent 3 hours getting my hair done, and at least an hour on my hair. I had been asked to prom by the guy I liked the most and couldn't believe it. I was on cloud nine.
On the way to the dance, I started feeling kinda funny in my stomach, but I was sure I was just nervous from being with Jordan. So, I put my fears aside and just didn't pay it anymind.That night, I had been nominated as in the running for Prom Queen. I was super nervous but I just hoped I won.
When it came time to announce who had won, I was so anxious that it was all I could do to keep myself in check. They called my name.
I had won!I walked up on stage and was greeted with a confused look. I looked out at the crowd and everyone was staring at me, with their mouths wide open. A few guys began to laugh. I had no idea what was going on. I glanced down.
I had gotten my period. It had soaked through my white gown. Everyone could see it, and my gown was ruined. It was the worst night of my entire life."
Is it just me, or is this straight out of Seventeen magazine?
"I decided to be super gutsy for my senior prom and pull off a sleak, skin tight, full length white sheath. I got all ready and I looked hot. I had tanned for months to get the perfect complexion. I'd spent 3 hours getting my hair done, and at least an hour on my hair. I had been asked to prom by the guy I liked the most and couldn't believe it. I was on cloud nine.
On the way to the dance, I started feeling kinda funny in my stomach, but I was sure I was just nervous from being with Jordan. So, I put my fears aside and just didn't pay it anymind.That night, I had been nominated as in the running for Prom Queen. I was super nervous but I just hoped I won.
When it came time to announce who had won, I was so anxious that it was all I could do to keep myself in check. They called my name.
I had won!I walked up on stage and was greeted with a confused look. I looked out at the crowd and everyone was staring at me, with their mouths wide open. A few guys began to laugh. I had no idea what was going on. I glanced down.
I had gotten my period. It had soaked through my white gown. Everyone could see it, and my gown was ruined. It was the worst night of my entire life."
Is it just me, or is this straight out of Seventeen magazine?
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Our first poop story.
Anecdote submitted by Scott in San Diego (already feeling good that this won't be a Southern bashing story!):
Here's a true-life experience for you, and I've never told a soul before - you'll soon see why.
Picture this: honeymoon with my new wife, all-inclusive beautiful resort, enjoying the tropical island paradise.
Have a fabulous seafood dinner the third or fourth night. Everything is going swell so far, right?
Wrong. I wake up and it's already light out, but I feel like something is horribly amiss and I also feel sick to my stomach. After a few minutes of laying there and trying to orient myself, I realize I feel something mucky in the sheets. Yeah, I POOPED myself in my sleep. I will spare you further details, but it was like I was laying in a pool of poop. I didn't know what to do, and my wife wasn't awake yet so I had a few minutes to contemplate my options....all the while trying to get out of bed as quickly as possible without waking her up. Thankfully, I could see she hadn't been touched by the ick. This was going to be a rude awakening, and I wanted to die right then and there.
I cleaned myself up and practiced the words, "Honey, wake up but don't move an inch, k?"
And this is why I'm married to the woman: she woke up, realized what was going on, and didn't say anything other than, "are you feeling ok?" She directed me to take the sheets off the bed and throw them in the shower, and I did the messy clean-up as best as possible without touching anything. I felt too sick to do anything for two days, but thankfully was always near a bathroom when nature called from that point forward.
It was horrible. You want to talk about mortifying? What a way to start off a marriage! "Honey! I almost pooped on you! Good morning!"
Here's a true-life experience for you, and I've never told a soul before - you'll soon see why.
Picture this: honeymoon with my new wife, all-inclusive beautiful resort, enjoying the tropical island paradise.
Have a fabulous seafood dinner the third or fourth night. Everything is going swell so far, right?
Wrong. I wake up and it's already light out, but I feel like something is horribly amiss and I also feel sick to my stomach. After a few minutes of laying there and trying to orient myself, I realize I feel something mucky in the sheets. Yeah, I POOPED myself in my sleep. I will spare you further details, but it was like I was laying in a pool of poop. I didn't know what to do, and my wife wasn't awake yet so I had a few minutes to contemplate my options....all the while trying to get out of bed as quickly as possible without waking her up. Thankfully, I could see she hadn't been touched by the ick. This was going to be a rude awakening, and I wanted to die right then and there.
I cleaned myself up and practiced the words, "Honey, wake up but don't move an inch, k?"
And this is why I'm married to the woman: she woke up, realized what was going on, and didn't say anything other than, "are you feeling ok?" She directed me to take the sheets off the bed and throw them in the shower, and I did the messy clean-up as best as possible without touching anything. I felt too sick to do anything for two days, but thankfully was always near a bathroom when nature called from that point forward.
It was horrible. You want to talk about mortifying? What a way to start off a marriage! "Honey! I almost pooped on you! Good morning!"
Sunday, February 05, 2006
It's called Nashvegas, thank you.
Boobish story submitted by Yank in Rebel Land from NYC (trust me, if I were making these up I wouldn't use the word "Yank" or "Rebel", since I don't write country music for a living and these aren't part of my everyday vocabulary):
"Many years ago I made a trip to Nashville, Tennessee. When I got to my room, I called room service to have an iron and board sent to my room (yes, back in those days they weren’t common in every room).
A man answered the phone. I said: ”Can you send an iron and board to room 408?” He asked what sounded like: “What for?” I answer: “To iron my shirt.” He comes back with: “OK, but what for?” “To go to a meeting.” I said, slightly irritated. Again, he says: “What for?” “What for!?” I’m now getting annoyed.
A colleague of mine is in the room watching me near the boiling point and calls for my attention. He says, “I think the guy is saying, what floor?”
Ahhh! “4th Floor”, I said. “Thank you”, he said.
So, am I the boob for not understanding him, or is he the boob for not knowing room 408 was on the 4th floor?"
Since you asked, Yank, my initial reaction was you were the boob here...but you're right, the fool should've known what floor you were on. Those Nashville twangs are darn right tricky, ain't they? On that note, let's get some boob-ish stories that occurred outside of the South, k?
"Many years ago I made a trip to Nashville, Tennessee. When I got to my room, I called room service to have an iron and board sent to my room (yes, back in those days they weren’t common in every room).
A man answered the phone. I said: ”Can you send an iron and board to room 408?” He asked what sounded like: “What for?” I answer: “To iron my shirt.” He comes back with: “OK, but what for?” “To go to a meeting.” I said, slightly irritated. Again, he says: “What for?” “What for!?” I’m now getting annoyed.
A colleague of mine is in the room watching me near the boiling point and calls for my attention. He says, “I think the guy is saying, what floor?”
Ahhh! “4th Floor”, I said. “Thank you”, he said.
So, am I the boob for not understanding him, or is he the boob for not knowing room 408 was on the 4th floor?"
Since you asked, Yank, my initial reaction was you were the boob here...but you're right, the fool should've known what floor you were on. Those Nashville twangs are darn right tricky, ain't they? On that note, let's get some boob-ish stories that occurred outside of the South, k?
For the record, this could have happened anywhere.
Anecdote submitted by northernguy from...wait for it..."the north":
"When I got an assignment to work in Atlanta, Georgia area (Alpharetta, to be exact) there were a lot of jokes between my friends and I about working in the south. The redneck jokes were the order of the day. When I went to Atlanta, I was sure I would not run into the stereotypes I'd heard in all the jokes. But as a matter of fact, that's exactly what happened.
Alpharetta, in particular, is quite cosmopolitan. [editor's note: seriously? no offense, but you need to get out more.] After a few weeks being there, I had forgotten all about the jokes. Until I'm waiting in line to go see a movie one day, and the guy in front of me approaches the booth and asks, "At what time does the five o’clock show start?"
The kid inside the booth replied, in a very matter-of-fact voice, "Five o’clock".
That’s my true southern boobs story for you. Welcome to the site."
Thanks, Northern Guy! Any stories that make residents of my hometown look dumb and uneducated are always welcome and embraced.
"When I got an assignment to work in Atlanta, Georgia area (Alpharetta, to be exact) there were a lot of jokes between my friends and I about working in the south. The redneck jokes were the order of the day. When I went to Atlanta, I was sure I would not run into the stereotypes I'd heard in all the jokes. But as a matter of fact, that's exactly what happened.
Alpharetta, in particular, is quite cosmopolitan. [editor's note: seriously? no offense, but you need to get out more.] After a few weeks being there, I had forgotten all about the jokes. Until I'm waiting in line to go see a movie one day, and the guy in front of me approaches the booth and asks, "At what time does the five o’clock show start?"
The kid inside the booth replied, in a very matter-of-fact voice, "Five o’clock".
That’s my true southern boobs story for you. Welcome to the site."
Thanks, Northern Guy! Any stories that make residents of my hometown look dumb and uneducated are always welcome and embraced.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
boys will be boys.
story submitted by avid reader and lifelong news junkie KP:
"MURFREESBORO, Tenn. - A man who was stopped for driving erratically on a divided highway was distracted because he was looking at pornography, authorities said. David Kennedy, 33, of Nashville, was charged with felony reckless endangerment after motorist Deborah Dotson reported Friday afternoon that he nearly ran her vehicle off State Route 840 several times. Deputy Tony Hall pulled over Kennedy based on Dotson's report. "When I made contact with the driver of the suspect vehicle, a Mr. David Kennedy, there were several pornographic magazines on the seat next to him," Hall said in his report."
seriously, kids. Can't you wait until you get home where you can snuggle up to your computer, TV or tattered magazines? have some self-discipline. two hands on the wheel.
"MURFREESBORO, Tenn. - A man who was stopped for driving erratically on a divided highway was distracted because he was looking at pornography, authorities said. David Kennedy, 33, of Nashville, was charged with felony reckless endangerment after motorist Deborah Dotson reported Friday afternoon that he nearly ran her vehicle off State Route 840 several times. Deputy Tony Hall pulled over Kennedy based on Dotson's report. "When I made contact with the driver of the suspect vehicle, a Mr. David Kennedy, there were several pornographic magazines on the seat next to him," Hall said in his report."
seriously, kids. Can't you wait until you get home where you can snuggle up to your computer, TV or tattered magazines? have some self-discipline. two hands on the wheel.
Hola!
Hey folks. I'm excited to be taking over moderating duties for What Boobs!, and hope to hear loads of thrilling stories of stupidity, humiliation, and embarrassment galore. Send in links from the news, from your friends, the gossip chain you so love, or something you experienced yourself - names will be changed to protect the guilty upon request. The funnier, the better so do your part to help us all pass the time at work. Look forward to seeing your boob-a-licious stories!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
New Blog Moderator
We're pleased to announce that Anne, from New York City, is going to be taking over this blog. We'll let her tell you what she has in mind when she settles in.
Anne describes herself as "a Southern girl trying to make it in the Big City". When we saw in her application that her fiance "ensures that I don't fall down a flight of stairs and die due to my incurable clumsiness" we knew we had found the perfect Blog Monitor for this blog. You can read more about Anne in her profile.
You'll be hearing from Anne soon.
Anne describes herself as "a Southern girl trying to make it in the Big City". When we saw in her application that her fiance "ensures that I don't fall down a flight of stairs and die due to my incurable clumsiness" we knew we had found the perfect Blog Monitor for this blog. You can read more about Anne in her profile.
You'll be hearing from Anne soon.
Man in pokey after reporting purloined pot
Boobs story submitted by daftdodger
Man, honesty is not appreciated these days.
OREM, Utah - An man who called police to report the theft of a quarter-pound of marijuana was arrested when police recovered the bag of pot and then invited him to come to the Public Safety Building to identify it. Kory C. Tippetts, 18, identified the pot as his and then was arrested and booked into the Utah County jail for investigation of possession of marijuana in a drug-free zone with intent to distribute, police said Tuesday. Tippetts had called police on Monday evening after he returned home and found that someone had broken a window, got cut on the glass, and crawled into the house. Tippetts told police the only thing missing was the quarter-pound of marijuana he was selling.
Man, honesty is not appreciated these days.
Oops! Art lover trips, shatters ancient vases
Boobs story submitted by anniev
LONDON - It was every art lover's nightmare — a stumble, a crash and thousands of dollars worth of historic fragments lying on the floor. The incident happened last week at the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge, England, which for decades has displayed a group of Qing dynasty Chinese vases on a window sill. A hapless visitor tripped on a loose shoelace, tumbled down a flight of stairs and crashed into the vases, smashing them into smithereens. The man, who has not been named, left the museum shaken but undamaged -- in sharp contrast to the vases.
