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Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Dating services and member pictures
When you join an online dating service, having good pictures will be a big plus. Match.com says your odds of getting contacted increase dramatically if you have pictures, and I believe them. I never even bother checking women without pictures.
But my experiences over the last two weeks has caused me to make some observations about pictures:
Studio Pictures: If you’re searching, coming across studio pictures is quite common. I’ve found that studio pictures show the person in a much more favorable way than everyday pictures. When there’s a combination of studio pictures and other photos, I have never found the person to look as good as the studio picture. So, if they only have a studio picture, I get skeptical.
Old pictures: Within my age group, it makes quite a different if a picture was taken in the last year or so versus 10 years ago. The other day I found a picture that was from 12 years ago (I could tell by the date on the picture). Come on! No one looks now like they did 12 years ago. So becareful with people who look much younger than their age.
Far away pictures: many people post lots of pictures but they are all from far away. Um… that raises a red flag to me.
Male cut out from the picture: I see lots of pictures of women where a male was cut out from the picture, but you can still see his hand around her waist or shoulder. Please! Take new pictures. I know that at my age every woman has had relationships, but I don’t want to be so vividly reminded. But there’s two things that really concern me about such pictures: one, if the pictures are recent, that means the woman hasn’t been away from the relationship long enough for me to want to get involved with her; or if the has been divorced for a while, those pictures are too old. Either way I look at it, it’s a bad sign.
Tags: dating, singles
But my experiences over the last two weeks has caused me to make some observations about pictures:
Studio Pictures: If you’re searching, coming across studio pictures is quite common. I’ve found that studio pictures show the person in a much more favorable way than everyday pictures. When there’s a combination of studio pictures and other photos, I have never found the person to look as good as the studio picture. So, if they only have a studio picture, I get skeptical.
Old pictures: Within my age group, it makes quite a different if a picture was taken in the last year or so versus 10 years ago. The other day I found a picture that was from 12 years ago (I could tell by the date on the picture). Come on! No one looks now like they did 12 years ago. So becareful with people who look much younger than their age.
Far away pictures: many people post lots of pictures but they are all from far away. Um… that raises a red flag to me.
Male cut out from the picture: I see lots of pictures of women where a male was cut out from the picture, but you can still see his hand around her waist or shoulder. Please! Take new pictures. I know that at my age every woman has had relationships, but I don’t want to be so vividly reminded. But there’s two things that really concern me about such pictures: one, if the pictures are recent, that means the woman hasn’t been away from the relationship long enough for me to want to get involved with her; or if the has been divorced for a while, those pictures are too old. Either way I look at it, it’s a bad sign.
Tags: dating, singles
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Need a "Get Out Of Date Free" card?
Last night I Stumbled Upon an awesome site for anyone having an iffy first date. Just go to GetMOOH (Get Me Out Of Here) and enter your phone number and the appropriate excuse. What ensues is pure genius. You don't even have to think of what to say, the guy coaches you through your responses. Next thing you know, you're off scot-free, your date none the wiser. Muahahhahah!
Tags: dating, singles
Tags: dating, singles
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Registration with Match.com
A few days ago I registered with match.com. I’m going to start posting some of my experiences here. Not so much specific personal stuff, and absolutely no names of anyone I may come in contact with (unless I’m confident we’re talking about a scam.) I’m more inclined to comment on the process and on common observations that probably apply to just about all-online dating services, not just match.com.
REGISTRATION
I first filled out a simple survey form asking for basic information (height, body type, religion, politics, education, etc.) and also included a few free-form fields for personal data. Most of the quiz is made up of these free form fields where you talk about yourself and what you expect from anyone you may want to pursue a relationship with.
After I submitted my profile and included pictures -- if you don’t include pictures your odds of getting responses are slim-- I did a search just to see what results I would get. At this point I had no intention of going any further with match.com.
But the following day I got an email from a woman. I could not read the email without subscribing. They offer a 3-day free trial period (you do have to supply a credit card and pick a plan even if you elect to cancel within the 3 days). So I decided to take the plunge and register so I could read the email.
Their My Match page is very simple and well organized. It allows you to add people as favorites and keeps track of who you emailed, who replied, and who's turn it is to write. If you add people to your favorites is then displays other people that match the one you added. You can also remove people from your searches so that they don't keep showing up.
Overall, a very easy process.
In the days ahead I’ll start posting some of the experiences plus anything new that might be of interest to anyone contemplating registering for such a service.
Tags: dating, singles
REGISTRATION
I first filled out a simple survey form asking for basic information (height, body type, religion, politics, education, etc.) and also included a few free-form fields for personal data. Most of the quiz is made up of these free form fields where you talk about yourself and what you expect from anyone you may want to pursue a relationship with.
After I submitted my profile and included pictures -- if you don’t include pictures your odds of getting responses are slim-- I did a search just to see what results I would get. At this point I had no intention of going any further with match.com.
But the following day I got an email from a woman. I could not read the email without subscribing. They offer a 3-day free trial period (you do have to supply a credit card and pick a plan even if you elect to cancel within the 3 days). So I decided to take the plunge and register so I could read the email.
Their My Match page is very simple and well organized. It allows you to add people as favorites and keeps track of who you emailed, who replied, and who's turn it is to write. If you add people to your favorites is then displays other people that match the one you added. You can also remove people from your searches so that they don't keep showing up.
Overall, a very easy process.
In the days ahead I’ll start posting some of the experiences plus anything new that might be of interest to anyone contemplating registering for such a service.
Tags: dating, singles
Friday, November 03, 2006
Potential Rapists Choose Their Victims in Advance
[S]ome women who use online dating services have faced real danger when their suitor turns out be a sexual predator or rapist. Jeffrey Marsalis, a 33-year-old Philadelphia drifter accused of drugging and sexually assaulting seven women, is currently in jail and faces trial on eight counts of rape and other related charges... five of the alleged victims claimed that they met Marsalis through Match.com... The smooth-talking lothario was a master of guile when it came to luring the women. In e-mails or on the phone, Marsalis claimed he was a CIA agent, a confidential adviser to the president, a doctor or an astronaut-in-training. (He posted pictures of himself wearing medical scrubs, a suit and an astronaut's uniform on his Match.com profile, according to law enforcement sources)... When the women agreed to meet Marsalis in person at a restaurant or bar, he allegedly used the same technique on all of them: After the women left their drinks to go to the restroom, they'd describe later feeling sick and falling in and out of consciousness with vague recollections of being sexually assaulted and waking up in his bed. (Full story here)
The article is about "the perils of online dating". I think it's the perils of dating, period.
The women in this case took the precautions of meeting this guy in a public place, and yet, they were victims. It's very hard to blame them; some guys are just very smooth and if they have bad intentions, it's not easy to detect.
