ARGville

A Community for anyone living in a reality-based world -- Visit us daily to:
-- express opinions about current events, politics, religion, and society
-- share advice about relationships, dating, and parenting
-- rant about your life, work, friends, and partners
-- relax with humor and short stories

A place for singles to share information and personal experiences.
Learn about what's new, dating trends, personal ad tips, dating safety, dating scams, and more.


 


Our discussion forum is open for business. Come say hello. 

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

 

Spelling is overrated

Singles profile submitted by Irina:

Profile from a guy who clearly doesn't think that writing skills are a big deal:
About Me
weel hello everyone ,well about me i am a very outgoing.just not into head games .i know what i want .and i am very goal oriented looking for thath someone.friends at first and we will take it from there.i love to travel and do new things.i love someone thaths fun to be around because i am thath way.just a very honest and caring person with a great heart.so if you want to find out more about me take a chance you wont be desapointed.i keep my friends for long time.

First Date
well you will have to descover for youre self.i love to surprise.

His height is stated as 5'1". Maybe he just can't reach the keyboard?

If you come across funny or wacky profiles, use the Submit Form and let us know about them.


Tags: ,

Monday, June 19, 2006

 

The cost of love versus a good deed

Tags: ,

Over the past 6 months I've been on several dating sites, wary of paying to find "the love of my life" but disappointed in the results the free sites were giving me. I'm also on OK Cupid and Plenty Of Fish. So after much deliberation I signed up for eHarmony during one of their buy-one-get-two-free promotions. And yet, after three months of going through the eHarmony process, I didn't have one match end up in a real live date. I'd heard so many good things about eHarmony, and if you read the site, they'll be the first to tell you that they get wedding announcements on a daily basis.

When I allowed my eHarmony account to lapse, I got several emails from the site telling me that 3 months isn't really enough time, and many members find it takes 6 months to a year to find "the love of their life". Already I was frustrated with matches who seemed to have a lot in common with me but weren't willing to go past emailing back and forth. A few days ago I got another offer from eHarmony, the old three for one deal, and I nearly considered it. But something made me change my mind.

eHarmony is like dating for dummies. They have you take an extensive psych test, presumably to weed out the guys looking for just one thing, and to keep those who are serious about long term relationships. Then, instead of letting you pick people you think you might have something in common with, they pick matches for you based on 29 degrees of compatability. And even once you've made a match, you're not allowed full contact with them until you answer each other's pre-written and self-written questions. By the time you get to full open communication, you might have decided you're not interested after all. I suspect this is what's happening, because for the most part I was matched with people I generally wouldn't pick for myself.

I prefer OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish, where they make matches for you, but you're also allowed to peruse the site and find people on your own. They also don't discriminate against same sex relationships. eHarmony is hetero only. I tend to ignore short profiles, people not interested in having children, smokers, and people who don't live in my city. eHarmony had a tendency to match me with people in different cities in my region who were uninterested in relocating (and at this point in my life, neither am I).

I finally had a string of successful dates through OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish. So, sorry eHarmony, I prefer free love over capitalistic love. OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish get by financially on advertising, so I wonder when sites like Yahoo Dating and eHarmony are going to follow suit. And there's something to be said for the karma of doing a kind thing for two people.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

 

Dating: Get what you want!

Sooner or later everyone faces these types of moments:
The realm of romance is full of those moments of 20/20 hindsight—you know, where you think, “I should have said…” or “Oh, if only I’d asked my date about…” And it’s also packed with those times when you sit and ponder, “He said this, but was he really trying to tell me something else?” Break out of the wishing-and-wondering habit and learn how to communicate really effectively on a date. How?

This article includes highlights of a chat with Laurie Puhn, communication expert and best-selling author of Instant Persuasion. Here are a couple of Questions and Answers for you to get an idea but the article has many more:
Q: As a man, what is the best way to make a first connection in a public place—say, at a restaurant?
A: If you're randomly approaching someone, you want to smile, say something about the restaurant or place you're in, or why you like it. She is there so obviously she likes it too, so you'll have something to talk about.

Q: I can't seem to get past the first date! I think I make a good impression and chat easily. What am I doing wrong?
A: A major mistake daters make is that they complain while on a date. They might complain about their job or their family or their friends. They think this makes them look open and honest and interesting, but it actually persuades people to dislike them because they are pessimistic. Think about whether you might, unintentionally, be this type of complainer.


Tags: ,

Saturday, June 03, 2006

 

Pain and sex

Hey, if pain is keeping you from sex, you may be interested in this:
As you might expect, being in pain all the time is exhausting. It has a debilitating effect on the libido, as do pain medications... It turns out that sex, even without orgasm, triggers endorphins that ease pain and relax the body so that sleep becomes easier. It might be difficult for a person to have interest in sex when dealing with chronic pain, but if you can bring yourself to have some sort of intimate contact with your partner, it will benefit not only the relationship, but pain management as well.

Karl [a healer] recommends that couples dealing with pain learn about tantra. "What tantric sex really boils down to is better communication," he says. "Staring deep into each other's eyes. Learning what it means when a nerve jumps, a muscle twitches. Really getting to learn your partner."

He reminds partners to be aware that they might be causing pain when they intend to create pleasure. "Sexuality has to be more empathic," he says. "If you can listen to their body and their breath, you can stay much more tuned in."

He suggests replacing the goal of orgasm with the goal of pleasuring the partner with the pain condition. The more a person can feel pleasure instead of pain, the more likely the libido will rise to the occasion.

Read the rest of the article for more suggestions about dealing with pain and sex.


Tags: ,

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

 


Contact Us | Resource Links