Note: See post below this one if you didn't read the blog yesterday.

Feedback submitted by Kendra, 43, San Diego:

When I read this question it brought back so many memories and not good ones either. A few years ago, when I got divorced, my daughter was 14. Like Karina, she made it a point to want to help me find dates. But no matter how much I tried to tell her that I wasn't interested in dating at that time she wouldn't give up.

She asked school teachers, her friends' fathers who were divorced, and even talked to men on the mall to ask them if they were single. More than once I was home relaxing and she brought a man for me to meet. I was livid. I knew she meant well but she was getting on my nerves.

I had just come off a divorce. I didn't want to date. I wanted to be with girlfriends, family, and spend time alone, which I almost never did when I was married. I wanted to be man-free for a while. After many fights she finally gave up but it strained our relationship too much.

Karina honey, your mom is a grown woman. She raised you and she can take care of herself. I know you want to help but your mom doesn't need this kind of help from you. If you want to help her, do stuff with her she likes to do. But don't try to be a matchmaker.

VictorM's comment: I think Kendra said it all. I have one additional comment for Karina: It's possible that you hear your mom talking to friends about how hard it is to find a good date. That doesn't mean she needs help -- yours or anyone else's. She's probably just venting her frustrations, past or present. And even if she's not sure where to go, as Kendra said, she's a grown woman and part of her new single life is finding her way around. Even if she's lost for a little while that's OK, that's how people learn.

My advice: let your mom figure out her own romantic life and you start worrying about finding good dates for yourself. Your time is just around the corner.

karina, 11, from florida, asks:

How do you get your mom a good date?

VictorM's comment: Tomorrow I'll give Katrina some ideas but I'd like to invite everyone else to offer suggestions. You can do so using the "comments" link below this post or you can use the submit form.

In addition to ideas for Katrina, if you have some personal experiences with a daughter/son getting dates for one of their parents, please share.

Katrina, come back Saturday and we'll have some suggestions for you.

Summary by Slate, from a Reuters article by Ed Leefeldt

Men are gaining on women in life expectancy. Women can still expect four more years than men, but over the last two decades, men have increased their life expectancy at twice the rate of women. Reasons: 1) Women are working and getting more stress from it. 2) Women took up smoking about 25 years ago and are now dying from it. Cynical spin: This is the price of equality. But experts say men will never catch up, because risky behavior is in their nature.

Read the article linked above. Has a lot of interesting numbers about salaries and health.

Somewhat relared to this, I thought I saw a study that shows that people who live with a partner live longer than people who live alone. I've been looking for such a study but can't find it. If anyone has seen anything along those lines, please send me a link. Thanks

From Health Discovery about Speed Dating:

Rules of the Game
The rules of speed dating are quite simple. A group of singles gathers at a cafe or similar venue. Armed with a nametag, a scorecard and their sparkling personality, couples are paired up to begin their first date. They are allowed to discuss anything, except their careers, or where the live.

Following seven minutes of conversation, a bell is rung, and the men move on to meet their next date. Think of it as a flirt's version of musical chairs.

Following each date, participants mark on a card whether they would have an interest in meeting their date again. If a mutual interest is noted, speed-dating organizers provide each party with the other's phone number.

But Does Speed Dating Work?
Speed dating has proven to be fairly successful, with approximately half of all participants coming away with a potential match. While some may be uncomfortable with the notion of making repeated small talk ten times in one evening, advocates of speed dating believe that the success of this "unconventional" arrangement lies in "conventional" — simple chemistry.

Questions: Have you ever speed-dated? If yes, what was your experience like? If no, would you consider it? Do you think this is just another short-lived fad? If you like / hate the idea, tell us why.

Extract from an article by Rori Gwynne

Any woman can attract a better quality man or inspire the man she has to give her more love, affection and romance, by learning the truth about Overnurturing.

What is Overnurturing? It's doing too much in a relationship. Giving too much. It's the reverse of how a relationship works best for a woman. Giving is what men are supposed to do. Women are supposed to receive the love, affection and gifts that men give, and then give love and affection back to them. Though many of us have caught onto this, it’s challenging to stop doing what we’ve always done, what we’ve been told is the way to do things, and to fly in the face of the fallout we fear. So I’m going to tackle one little issue – Nurturing.

Nurturing is masculine. If you want to get what he wants to give, stop nurturing your man.

Radical as this sounds, try it. Stop doing. Stop giving. Stop massaging your husband’s feelings. Stop helping your date do the relationship thing and let him flounder until he figures it out. He will.

The rest of the article goes into more detail about nurturing and why women do it.

As a male, I have to say I totally agree with Ms Gwynne. Women who overnurture become suffocating.

Book: The New Single Woman, By E. Kay TrimbergerBeacon Press376 pages, Nonfiction

Sociologist E. Kay Trimberger is "the new single woman" referred to in the title of her new book. Successful in her career, surrounded by friends and family, Trimberger is not depressed by the fact that her life doesn't include a partner. A never-married Californian with a 24-year-old son she adopted when he was a newborn, she's the poster girl for her cause -- living single contentedly. Trimberger and single women like her are part of a growing demographic.

According to the 2004 Census, just under 54 million women ages 15 and older -- or 45 percent of all women -- are single, up from 38 percent in 1970. These increasing numbers, Trimberger says, are in part the result of a widepread cultural expectation that one must marry their "soul mate." "The standard of a soul mate increases singleness," she says. "Women can have those higher standards because they increasingly don't need a man to support them economically." Those women who do marry do so later, divorce more frequently and remarry less often.

The above was extracted from an interview in Salon.com (subscription is required but you can get a single-day pass by viewing a commercial for a few seconds. It's well-worth it) with Ms. Trimberger where she talks about sex, celibicy, the quest for "soul mates", and other interesting tidbits about single women.

This new blog will be a center of information for singles. We will condense news items of relevance and post information on new trends, ideas that work (and those that don't), scams, online dating services, our own experiences, personals tips, books, and articles.

We are counting on most of the material to be supplied by those of you who live the singles life and experience it in all it’s glory and frustration. We hope you share your successes and disappoints with us.

We have an open mind about what should be on this page and where we should be headed with it. If you have ideas about that, please share them with us.

We also hope that we develop a sense of community among those of us seeking friendships or companionships. We can do that around this blog by submitting material, using the comments link below each post, and above all, joining the ARGville Forum.

We’ve only just begun. So don’t be timid. Help us shape this blog with your suggestions. And come back often.

Thank you

PS. The blog Date From Hell closed and its material will become a feature within this blog. Below are the stories that were posted previously at the Date From Hell blog.

Pam, 37, from New Jersey, writes:

I met this guy for dinner after he answered a personal ad. We talked briefly on the phone and he was pleasant enough. Based on his information, he had lots of formal education, like a couple of Masters degrees.

When I first met him, I was pleased. He looked fine, was dressed nicely enough, and our introductions were fine. We sat down to dinner and after some pleasantries, we started talking about the American Civil War. I don't remember how we got on that topic, but I was impressed with his knowledge.

He explained some elements of the war that I had never understood. During the whole dinner there was just one topic: the freaking American Civil War! He used utensils, salt shaker, pepper shakers, and even the vegetables in his plate to demonstrate battle strategies. He told me he had thousands of miniature soldiers that he paints to color specifications, and has them arranged in his basement to represent some actual battle scenes. On the wall over his bed, he said, he had some genuine saber used by some guy whose name I don't really know or care to know.

This was the only topic all night. I never really said anything other than "oh," "really?" and, "I didn't know that." He just went on and on, sometimes making the server wait until he finished what he was saying.

Not only was this a date from hell, it was also the longest night of my life! I never saw him again, of course. When my friends asked me to go see the movie Cold Mountain I flatly refused. I probably would have vomited if I had gone.

Todd, 31, from Florida, writes:

I once went out with this woman named Robyn, who I met through our mutual friend cindy. I took Robyn out for a nice dinner so we could get to know each other better. At first, things were going great. She was beautiful, funny, and sweet.

The conversation stayed lighthearted and fun until I asked her about her work. That's when the mood of the evening took a drastic turn for the worse. She proceeded to tell me about her boss, who was also her ex-boyfriend. They had broken up two months ago and I got to hear all the details. As we sat there in the resturant, she balled her eyes out telling me about how much she still loved him and how she just couldn't move on with her life without him.

I tryed to be understanding, but this was just too much for me. After dinner I took her home, called Cindy, and waited with Robyn until Cindy got there. I couldn't leave her alone, but I couldn't stay with her either. When Cindy got there, I headed home. Needless to say, I didn't go out with Robyn again.

Tara, 19, from Illinois, writes:

I once went out with a guy I met online. He found me on facebook and asked me out to dinner. He seemed harmless enough, so I met him in front of his dorm. When I arrived, he looked only vaguely like he did in the senior picture he had shown me, but I thought to myself, "Hey, everyone likes to put their bestfoot forward. No big deal."

Next, he informed me that he was taking me to dinner at the most elegant (not),Watterson Food Court, one of the dining centers on campus that takes our mealplans. I thought this was weird, but I decided it couldn't be that bad, and itwas a change of pace from going to my dining hall. So, I went along with it, deciding that this date was decidedly more casual than I had originally thought.

He proceded to buy my dinner by swiping his meal plan (oh so classy!) and then take me out to dessert, also on his meal plan, to Ben and Jerry's. He said less than 25 words all night but the majority of them were while waiting in that Ben and Jerry's line. Proceding, was the most awkward hug of my entire life:

"Oh I didn't hug you, so I'll do it now."

Talk about weird. I blocked him on AIM, unfriended him on facebook, took hisphone number out of my phone, and now dodge his painful glances whenever I am given the unfortunate circumstance of seeing him on campus.

Musey, 29, from Florida, writes:

So, my roommate hooked me up for a date for Halloween. We chatted online a few times and she'd gone out with him previously so I thought, "okay, why not?"

He came over to my house first so I could help him with his costume. Things were going fine but when it was time to leave for the club, he asked if we could take my car because his was almost out of gas.

So we took my car and when we got there, there was a covercharge. Only problem, he forgot his wallet. I almost suggested we go back to my place to get it, but the lady at the door was like, "Oh just pay for it." So I did. Once inside, he started dancing around with any woman he could find.

So, I just hung out by the bar until an even hotter guy asked me to dance. We danced a bit but then the smoke started getting to me andI just didn't feel well. I told my date that I wanted to go home and he was like, "ButI'm still having fun!" "Fine," I tell him, "you can find your own ride home."

I got back to my place, and realized I still had his jacket and keys in my car. I dumped the stuff on top of his car, half hoping someone would steal it, and I went to bed. Never saw that guy again.

Sara, 28, from Colorado, writes:

My friend set me up on a blind date with this guy she said was "just my type!" He took me to the opera and everything was going well. After the opera, he took me out a fancy resturant. I was really impressed and thought, "Wow, blind dates are never this good! Maybe my friend was right, he does seem like my type."

About half way through dinner while we were talking, all of a sudden his face turned ghostly white. His jaw dropped as this obviously angry woman came walking up to the table, red-faced with steam pouring out of her ears like in a cartoon. "What the hell do you think you're doing?.... Who is she?... What's going on here?... What happened to 'Guy's Night Out?'" It didn't take long to figure out that this woman was his wife and he was suppose to be "out with the guys."

I later called my friend who had set me up and proceeded to inform her that married was not exactly my type!

This is an internet forward that is sure to make the most uptight among you crack a smile!

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates, but this takes the cake.

This was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

It was midwinter, snowing and quite cold, and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about what is taking so long with a reply that indeed, she was freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down, or perhaps that should be pants down. And you thought your first date was embarrassing! Jay Leno's comment, "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."

Tara, 19, from Illinois, writes:

I once went on a date with a guy I had only seen around campus. He seemed nice enough, so when he introduced himself to me and asked me to dinner and a movie, I happily obliged. During the course of dinner, I started getting the impression that he was slightly less than normal.

Some of the getting-to-know-you questions he asked were just a bit off-base. He caught me totally off-guard asking questions such as “What do you look for in a significant other?” and “What kinds of activities did you do with your last boyfriend?” He proceeded to inquire about what kinds of things I did for fun with friends, and then badgered me about why I did different things with my ex-boyfriend than I did with my friends. It was rather awkward to me, but since I'd already agreed to go to the movie as well, I did.

Much to my surprise, the movie was one that he owned and we were going to watch it at his place. This seemed weird, but not dangerous as he and I lived in the same building, him only one floor above me, it turned out. Throughout the horrible b-rated love story, he analyzed the characters motives and gave vivid descriptions of what he would and would not like in a girl he was dating. At the close of the movie, I was desperately trying to find escape, but his questions did not cease.

I was trying to be tolerant, but he finally pushed me over the edge with “Why have all of your relationships failed?”. If that wasn't bad enough, when I awkwardly replied “Um, because they weren't meant to be,” he accused me of trying to “cop out” of the real answer and declared that I must have done something wrong for all my relationships to have failed. To that, I nodded, told him he must be right, and left without a word.

Needless to say, I never spoke with him again, despite seeing him everywhere I went for the next few weeks.