Carol, 39 from CA asks...
How do I get my baby used to sleeping in his crib instead of with me? At what age? Do I make him cry it out?

Stacy Says...
Oh, Carol. Dear, Carol. This is the question of my life right now. And I gotta tell ya--I have not come up with the magic solution. My daughter has done it all. First, she fell asleep no problem in the crib. Then, we had to hold her in our bed until she fell asleep. Then she got big enough to roll off the bed (thankfully onto pillows) and so we started putting her back in the crib. Now, that's ok during the day but not at night. Sheesh.

My personal opinion, go with the flow. For our family, it's just easier to allow her to sleep whichever way she can. Trying putting your son in his crib around nap time when he's getting sleepy and letting him play, put some toys in there so he's entertained. He might just get tired and fall asleep. Once he gets used to the idea of, "Hey. My crib's not so bad," he might be more agreeable to it at night. If he'll ONLY sleep with you, cuddle him and let him fall asleep then put him in his crib.

A few words of caution, however. "Crying it out" is a dangerous phrase. Usually, I'll give her at least 5 minutes in her crib to cry during the day and 9 times out of 10, she stops and is asleep. Ahhh. At night? Whole other story. She screams and screams, works herself up to where there is NO consoling her. So then instead of taking only 10 minutes to go to sleep, she's up for another hour, gets hungry again...just a viscous cycle. So, is "crying it out" good then--nope. Who knows, she might be scared at night despite the night lights.

There's really no magic age where they are ready for sleeping in the crib versus with you. You have to go by what YOU think is best. Try different things, don't be afraid to change something that isn't working or stick with something that is. (For a long time, my dad gave us a hard time for laying down with Hannah when she slept--but you know what? She was asleep in 5 minutes, slept for 2 hours and we could get some work done). Try relaxing music or fun music he likes, try leaving the light on, try rocking him to sleep and putting him in his crib. Whatever works!

Kris, 28, from Victoria Australia asks...
I went to have emergency u/s and result came back that bub is under 6 pounds. I'm due on 6/6/06 but now dr said I'm due 23/6/06. Bub has engaged and has been in this position for 4 weeks or so. This is baby number 2. I'm a little confused-- every thing that should be happening at 38+ weeks is happening but I'm worried bub is small. I feel like I can go in to labour at any time as over last 2 weeks have had contractions on and off. I am being monitored for this. Whats your feedback on my problem.

Stacy Says...
I will not pretend to act like I know what they average size is for a baby on an ultrasound. However, they can be wrong--a pound off either smaller of bigger. It's not always accurate. The only thing you can do is relax. I know, easier said than done. Follow ALL of the doctor's instructions. No heay lifting, no strenuous exercise, eat right, relax, (I personally would refrain from sex). Listen to the doctors and everything should be fine. PLUS, if the doctor changed the due date, it could be that they miscalcualted (that happens alot since hardly anyone knows the EXACT day they got pregnant) and everything is as it should be.

Bridget, 33 from NY asks...
My 5 1/2 year old son has begun throwing tantrums again. He's not over tired, he's not hungry when they occur. It seems to be a control issue. As an example, this morning we dealt with breakfast, my children don't usually have sugar cereal so this morning was a treat. He decided he would rather have a bagel. So I gave him a bagel instead. As I prepared the bagel for him he decided he would rather have the cereal - his statement "I just can't make up my mind" so hesitantly I gave him the cereal and decided to eat the bagel myself. As I finished the bagel he decided he would dump the cereal in the sink and the yelling that started a few minutes ago escalated to screaming as he informed me that he wanted the bagel. He's now in his room until he and I both calm down enough that I can talk with him. I'm overwhelmed and not sure if this is just a phase or if this is a problem. In either case I'm not sure how to handle it and need any advice you can give.

Stacy Says...
Congrats for having the mind to send him to his room until you BOTH cool off! In the midst of anger is NEVER the right time for punishment. I think you're right, this is a control issue. He's at a stage where he wants to do things himself, but is still dependent on you--making him very frustrated.

Give him choices. A or B. And that's it. Offer your help, if he wants it. If he starts the tantrum, tell him he already made his choice and made it clear to you. If it esclates into a shouting match --back to his room he goes until he's calm and you can talk to him. When he makes a decision and doesn't mutate into a screaming hooligan, PRAISE HIM!! Kids love it when you tell them how good they are or how well they did. Just be patient, more than likely, this is just a stage. And when he sees it doesn't phase you, it'll seem a lot less interesting.

Sara, 26, from Idaho asks...
My 2.5 year old daughter is having problems eating various types of foods. She is stuck on noodles, raviolies and milk. Do you have any suggestions on how we can get her to eat or try other foods?

Stacy Says...
Toddlers go through stages on food likes and dislikes and unfortunately we are basically at their mercy. The only thing I would suggest is playing games with eating different foods, make it fun to eat (Parents Magazines always has cute ideas on fun foods) or set an example on how much you looooove your brocoli. Other than that, I would just go with the flow instead of trying to force her into eating. She's at a point where she wants to assert her independence (or so she thinks) and so trying to win this battle might be more costly and exhausting in the long run. More than likely, she'll grow out of it.

Kyla, 18, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada asks...
I have just recently found out I have low blood sugar. (3.1) But I haven't got a call back from my doctor. I would just like some advice on what this could mean and what I should do.

Stacy Says...
It sounds like the doctor did what's called a Hemoglobin A1C. This takes an average of your blood sugar in the past 3 months. And yes, 3.1 is on the low side. This means you have hypoglycemia. Basically, it's the opposite of diabetes. Your blood sugars tend to run on the low side instead of on the high side. But no, this doesn't mean you get to eat all the chocolate you want.

The best thing to do would be to eat several small meals a day, or have nutritional snacks. The idea is to keep your blood sugar at a steady level instead of highs and lows. Try snacks like cottage cheese and fruit, cheese and crackers, peanut butter crackers, eggs and toast--protein and some carbs will give you the most steady blood sugar. Stay away from high sugar foods like candy, sugary cereals and soft drinks--you'll get a sugar high but then it might crash pretty fast. Also, many OB-GYNs have a nutritionist so she would be great resource as far as the proper snacks.

Kate, 20, from Wales asks...
I'm 15 weeks pregnant. Today at work I had to move a heavy cage. I haven't had any stomach pains. But I'm worried about the baby. Will the baby be ok??

Stacy Says...
The baby should be fine. HOWEVER, you need to stop lifting, pushing, pulling heavy cages. Ask your boss if there's another task you can do or if you can stick to some desk work. The farther along you get, the higher the risk for premature labor when you lift/push/pull heavy objects. You have to be vocal and stick up for yourself and your baby and refuse to do heavy labor!

Katy, 20, from NYC asks...
I have a 2 week old baby and am breast feeding but 2 days ago I came down with a cold. Is still safe to breastfeed? Will the baby get sick?

Stacy Says...
It's actually beneficial for the baby to keep breastfeeding. Your body produces antibodies when it gets a cold or virus and so you will pass on the antibodies to the baby. (Check out this site) Just stay away from the cold medicines. Typically, most medicines for runny nose and other cold symptoms have psuedoephedrine which is not good for either of you while breastfeeding. If you just can't take it anymore, ask your doctor which ones are safe.

Trisha, 25, from New Jersey:
I'm trying really hard to get pregnant. I'm starting to think there is something wrong with me. I'm constantly on the internet trying to figure out whats going on with me. I'm having sex all at the right times, but so far nothing. I keep thinking that I'm 25 yrs old, and I shouldn't be having these problems. I do have one question though, is it possible to get out of the normal lower back pain, before you can even check your pregnant. I still have about 10 days before my period is suppose to come. But, is it possible that I'm pregnant?

Stacy Says:
First of all, how long have you been trying? A month? 3 years? Sometimes it takes longer for some women...some women get pregnant when they think about sex. I don't think there's something wrong with you. And since I'm really not sure what you mean by "the normal lower back pain" I'm just going to give you some tips on trying to get pregnant.

RELAX!! That's the first step. Stress can disrupt the body in many ways, one being your menstruation cycle. You also have to know your cycle and when you ovulate. They have urine testers available at drug stores and there's also a "cervical mucus" way (but to be honest, I never really understood it). If you get your period like clockwork, it can be pretty easy to determine, but if you're irregular like I was, this can be frustrating. You can use an ovulation calculator, or use this general formula. In a 28 day cycle, you ovulate on the 14th day AFTER your period stops. Having sex at during ovulation is the optimal time to get pregnant. Apparently missionary style is the best because it gives the sperm a little directional navigation as well. Go figure. Also cutting back on caffeine and taking prenatal vitamins are needed. If you were on some form of birth control, give your body some time to recover and get regular again.

As for the father, he can play his part as well. Boxers not briefs and no...um...pleasuring himself. The less is "wasted" the higher number of sperm. This also goes for having sex. Having sex every night in an attempt to get more sperm inside is a no-no. Try every other day so the sperm can replenish. (The month after my husband and I started doing this, I got pregnant)

If you still feel like nothing is happening, see your OB-GYN. And get him to see a fertility specialist, too. But the most important thing is please don't make the process of getting pregnant a chore if ya know what I mean. Have fun, relax and it'll happen!

Melissa, 26 from Florida asks:
My infant is 8 days old. I am a little concerned because she rarely cries. She just gets a little fussy when she needs something but hardly ever a full out cry. Is there something wrong, or am I just blessed!

Stacy Says:
Blessed! Blessed! Blessed! Babies have different temperments and sounds like yours is pretty mellow! Enjoy it! As long as she's eating, gaining weight, peeing and pooing--savor the quietness.

Jessica, 24 from South Africa asks:
Our baby is due in December and I want that week my husband has off alone and I do not want visitors because I want my husband and I to bond as a family and because I have heard that if the baby is handled too much its little body hurts. My husband thinks that I am being selfish, maybe I am because I have decided to become a Stay at Home Mom and I want him to see that bringing up a child at home doesn't mean that I get to watch soaps and lie around on the sofa all day. Am I being selfish?

Stacy Says:
You know what, Jessica. I think you are being selfish. First of all, I have never heard that handling a newborn hurts it. Of course, you have to be gentle, but I don't think holding a baby hurts it. Besides, they love to be touched and held, it creates security and bonding.

Second...no visitors?! What about grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, nieces, cousins, friends? As a mom, it's your turn to make the decisions...but as a WIFE, you have to consider your husband's feelings as well. If he wants his parents to come over or his sister, he should be allowed to do so. It's his child, too. But set a limit. Tell your family no drop-by visits, don't come before noon, call before you come or even reserve the right to cancel at anytime. Parenthood is a whole new experience, one that cannot be prepared for even with the best of classes, books and advice. And you'll discover what works and what doesn't. But to clearly make a decision so soon into the pregnancy I think is impossible. I do think you should allow at least some vistors (especially close relatives and friends) to see the baby.

And last, I'm worried that you feel you have to PROVE to your husband that you're not going to lie around and watch soap operas. Is he saying this? Is this what he thinks? Because if this is what he thinks, you're in for a rocky road. If YOU feel guilty for staying home, you need to deal with that. Having one parent stay at home takes compromise and understanding from BOTH parents. Right now, my husband is the stay-at-home parent and I go to work. I have to understand that watching our daughter is a full-time job and apreciate everything he does for her and me and he understands how hard it is for me to go to work and how much I miss her. It takes constant communication of feeelings and asking for help from both of us.

As far as laying on the couch...dream on! Granted, once you get used to a newborns routine, you actually do have a little extra time, more than you do once they get a little older. They pretty much wake up, eat, play for a few minutes and then go right back to sleep--but I always took a nap myself since I was exhausted from those 3am feedings. But you and your husband will soon see that being a stay-at-home mom or dad is MUCH MORE work than you think. Your husband will see in the first week he takes off work what it takes from BOTH parents to raise a child. But if you're due in December--RELAX!!! Concentrate on creating the baby right now, deal with visitors later!

Brenda, 56, from Ontario asks:
My niece is pregnant and Dr. found k factor after doing blood work. What is this?

Stacy Says:
I can only assume that by k factor, you're describing PKU. And since you didn't say that she actually has this condition, I'm assuming that the blood work found that she is a carrier.

PKU is a condition where the body does nto effectively break down certain foods, namely phenylalanine. Phenylalanine is a building block of proteins and if a person with PKU eats too much of foods with this chemical in it, it can accumulate in the body and cause damage to their health and even learning abilities.

PKU is what is known as a recessive illness. Meaning BOTH parents have to have a gene for it AND both have to pass that gene on to the child. Anyone of us can have the gene for PKU (be a "carrier" of it) but not have any manifestation of the illness because we did not receive TWO genes, one from both of our parents. Make sense?

If the father does not have this gene, then there is no way the baby can get it. If your niece has the gene, she's probably only a carrier. If she does have PKU (was diagnosed with it and is being treated for it) then she has to stick to a special diet (as determined by her doctor and most likely nutritionists) and she and the baby will be fine.

Claire, 37, from UK asks:
At 20 weeks my baby dosnt seem to move about that much, as it took us so long to concieve I'm worried something may be wrong. My midwife has told me to try and relax. Would I know if something was wrong?

Stacy Says:
When us women become mothers-to-be, I think our paranoia revs into overdrive. We read all the books, get all sorts of advice and personal experience from every mother that walks by, compare ourselves to other new-mommies--it's enough to drive you insane. Added to the fact it was difficult to conceive...the pressure is intense.

At 20 weeks (5 months) the baby is still relatively small compared to the amniotic sac and so that little booger has plenty of room to swim around kicking, turning, twirling in your belly with free reign. So, it's probably moving around much more than you think. Plus, babies tend to be night owls, even before they are born. During the day, by walking around and simply doing normal, everyday activities, you rock your baby to sleep. THEN, the baby decides to wake up when you go to sleep. I could always feel my daughter move at 7:30 p.m. till 10:30 p.m. It was like clockwork--but I was also laying down on the couch perfectly still so I could really feel her.

Chances are your baby is more active at night and since h/she still has lots of room, you're not feeling the kicks and movement like you imagined you would. Just relax, pretty soon you'll be wishing the little trouble maker would quit the kickin' so you could actually eat a meal in peace!

Jay, 31, from Alabama asks:
My wife is pregnant with our first child, and she has recently notice a drastic change. The bed sheets, body pillow case, a pair of white underwear, and the toilet seat have a black tint on them. The toilet seat was very difficult to clean. I was able to scrub most of the dis-coloration off, but does anyone have any ideas why this is occurring? Our doctors have never heard of this and don't seem to be too alarmed by it. My wife on the otherhand is worrying about it. HELP!!!

Stacy Says:
It sounds like this "black tint" is just discharge, or spotting. While bright red bleeding, or heavy bleeding is abnormal, spotting is normal during pregnancy. There's a tremendous increase in blood volume and fluid to the uterus/placenta during pregnancy and sometimes a little leaks out. Especially after sex, sometimes even after laughing hard.

If your wife isn't experiencing any abdominal pains, cramping or heavy bleeding, I wouldn't be too worried about it either. Tell her to be aware of any changes in the amount or color and if there are any tell your doctor. Other than that, invest in the mega-pack of pantyliners so she doesn't stain everything. (She'll know what they are, I know you might be thinking, 'What the heck are those?') Thanks for being so concerned about your wife, Jay! You'll make a great daddy!

Lorraine, 37, from Bourne, UK asks:
I have just had my first scan & been told that the baby has a large cystic hygroma surrounding the back of the head & upper abdomen. When I asked if this was a sign of Downs Syndrome (fluid behind the neck) I was told they felt it was more than that, maybe a drainage problem. As I have not got my triple test for another two weeks, any ideas? Thanks.

Stacy Says:
Hygromas are formed when there is a developmental abnormality between the lymphoid system at the sites of lymph-venous connection, most typically behind the neck. In other words, the lymph system is the system that gathers all the bacteria and encloses it in confined areas while your body tries to fight the infection (the swollen glands on your neck when you have a cold is your lymph nodes). The venous system (the blood vessels) then take the substances from the lymph system to the blood where your body continues to fight it or excretes it. In hygromas, this does not form correctly and can lead to very serious consequences.

Lorraine, there is alot of literature out there, especially on the internet about hygromas. Just go to google.com and type in "cystic hygromas in fetus" and you can get alot of information. The prognosis and treatment depends on the presence of other abnormalities, results of an amniocentesis--all sorts of tests that I really am not knowledgable about to give you a good enough explanation.

Please listen very carefully to the doctors and arm yourself with as much information possible as there will be lots of decisions you will need to make. It seems that all you can do now is wait for tests. I will say this. There IS a purpose for this child. God created the life inside you for a specific reason. You both will be in my prayers.

Rozanne, 23, from Cape Town-South Africa asks:
I know this is going to sound bad. I was wondering what damages I could have done to my baby by taking drugs at 3 weeks of my pregnancy. I never knew I was pregnant then and I'm not a drug addict just tried it out a couple of times and will never do it again, ever. I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks and immediately stopped drinking or smoking and I have been eating really healthy. But I did ectasy tablets at 3 weeks of my pregnancy and I also drank and smoked cigarettes. So far everything is well with me--I'm 3 months now and feel healthy, do you think I should panic or would everything be okay as I stopped everything as soon as I found out I was pregnant?

Stacy Says:
Chances are, everything is okay. Babies are resilient. They can take alot more than we might think. I went through several medical problems thinking my baby would be harmed. But now she's one tough cookie and perfectly okay. My OB-GYN at one point said some women smoke crack their entire pregnancy and their babies are physically healthy.

That being said, the first trimester is the most cruical time of pregnancy. It's when your baby is forming all it's little organs, tissues, brain...everything. This is the time of pregnancy when drugs can be the most harmful to your baby. Good for you for stopping the ectasy, drinking and smoking. You've already helped your baby! Tell your doctor about the drugs you've taken. Be honest! It's about the health of your baby, not being embarrassed or ashamed. Tell her/him your concerns--maybe he/she can do a more detailed ultrasound to make sure your baby is forming correctly. The hard part of the pregnancy is that you won't be 100% certain until the baby is born. There are no quality studies done on the effect of ectasy on unborn babies.

But DON'T focus on that. Focus on a healthy, happy baby bouncing inside you and do your best now to take care of yourself and the baby.

Emma, 37, from Devon asks:
I'm 35 weeks pregnant and I feel faint and have headaches. Is it anything to worry about???

Stacy Says:
Fainting or "feeling faint" is very common during pregancy. In early pregnancy, the extra hormones running wild in your body (particularly progesterone) cause the blood vessels to relax, dilating the blood vessels and lowering your blood pressure--especially when you stand up. (It's called postural hypotension, or orthostatic hypotension). Just be careful not to stand up or change positions too quickly--not that you could move quick at 35 weeks, but you know what I mean. Also, late in pregnancy the sheer volume of the baby and the uterus can press against the vessels when you lay on your back. This can make you feel weak, dizzy or nauseous. Just remember to lay on your side to prevent this (preferrably the left side).

You can feel faint if your blood sugar is low, too. During pregnancy your metabolism speeds up making your body need more food (hence the constant hunger). Always keep small snacks with you like peanut butter crackers or granola bars, just in case.

Headaches are also common in pregnancy. I had lots and lots. Especially if you have a tendency towards tension headaches or migraines before the pregnancy. Once again, the infamous hormones can be blamed. Also, since there is an increase in blood volume there can be more pressure in the head and even against the eyes causing headaches and eye strain. Plus just the stress of the pregnancy itself is enough to give you headaches.

HOWEVER, if your headaches have vision changes associated with them, like blurry vision or seeing spots and the headache is constant--please call your health care provider. Your blood presure could be rising and it would need to be taken care of immediately!