Tamara, 38, from Maine asks:
I am an experienced Mom but I have a 1 year old that is completely out of control who makes me look like I've never parented before. He is extremely clingy to me at home and when my husband comes home he simply latches onto him. He will throw tantrums, the head banging, foot kicking thrashing across the floor kind. I have tried other things that have worked for me in the past to no avail. I've tried "ignoring" the tantrum. I would verbally discourage him from hurting himself and giving himself booboos, ouchies. but there on the floor he will still thrash. And when we are out in public. (Deep breath)-it is insane. I am at the point where I feel that I cannot take him anywhere anymore. The clincher is that I am now 7 months pregnant and I know that I have to have some progress with him before this one arrives because I feel I am going to be in serious trouble. Please help me.

Stacy Says:
Now, I need to put a warning on what I'm about to say. I won't be politically correct and will probably encite some angry people. BUT, I am a firm believer in spankings. Proverbs 13:24 says, He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly. I am not saying to repeatedly spank your son, I'm not saying to spank him in the heat of the moment when you're about to lose it. There is a clear difference between physical abuse and discipline. A spanking when a child is throwing a tantrum is needed discipline, not abuse.

When your son is throwing his tantrum, you need to tell him to stop. Tell him NO! Then tell him if he doesn't stop, he's going to get a spanking. Then follow through with it! Obviously, a 1 year old does not need to be spanked hard, but be firm and authoritative with it! Afterwards, tell him you love him and give him a hug, that way he knows that just because you spanked him, that doesn't mean you don't love him. Be prepared for him to stomp off and want nothing to do with you. But do just as you were, giving him love and trying to hold him. You got a great instinct there! Discipline IS done out of love and it seems you love him very much. A correct spanking done for discipline is tougher on the parents than the child. I know my parents spanked me and you better believe I learned early that tantrums just didn't fly at my house. (And I haven't even needed a therapist to sort through the emotional issues =P )

If the tantrums are not easing up or this doesn't seen to help, call your health care practitioner. It could be possible there might be a behavior problem that your s/he might have other suggestions for. Let us know if any of this helps!

Kylie, 29, from Queensland asks:
How do I know how long I breast or bottle feed with express milk for each time? Will my baby let me know when she has had enough? Should I feed every 2 or 4 hours? Thank you.

Stacy Says:
My daughter's doctor had the BEST advice about feeding. He asked me, 'How do you know if she's had enough?' I said, 'She spits it back up at me.' He asks, 'How do you know if she's still hungry?' I replied, 'She cries.' His response? 'There you go.' It's so simple, us mothers make it way too complicated.

I know all the books say offer each breast for approximately 15-20 minutes each, blah blah blah. I was lucky if I got my daughter on one breast for 5 minutes. Try to get her to feed as long as she wants. If she latches on and chows down, great. If she's not too interested, offer a bottle. I am not one to force the issue of breastfeeding. My daughter was not real interested at all, drank most of her food from formula and did just fine. Alot of times, I would have to express milk after she decided yet again that my breast was not good enough for her and I just gave her that milk in a bottle at the next feeding. Don't worry, she'll let you know when she's full. And she'll let you know when she's still hungry, too. It's hard to miss that ear-piercing scream.

As far as feeding every 2-4 hours, that's up to you. You can get her on a schedule--wake up every two or three hours and feed her, if she's crying or not. Do this all day and night and then you'll get her on a schedule. Personally, I wasn't one to jump up in the middle of the night if she wasn't crying--call me selfish, I just wanted to sleep. So I fed her when she cried. She got on a schedule for the most part. If it was 2-3 hours after her last feeding and she started crying, I could guess she was hungry. And sure enough, give her the bottle and she sucked it down. Do whatever works for your baby. All babies are different and not all fit into the categories you read in those lovely parenting books!

Robyn, 36, from NC asks:
My son is four and loves to play head games already. I know this is normal for grown men they all do it but not little boys. For instance ...He may say Mom I want some water ..I go get it and he says no I want juice..so I turn around to get the juice and he says NO WATER...in a louder screaming voice...and it doesnt stop with just this ...it is tv channels...EVERYTHING...have I taught my son to do this and if so how can I stop this behavior...I get so irritated at him I just have to walk away and then he throws a tantrum please help.....

Stacy Says:
Looks like you got a smart kid on your hands. I don't know if he's playing "mind games". He's just seeing where the infamous line is. He's trying to see how far he can push you, and yes, you're encouraging it.

Next time he asks for water or juice say, "Ok. Mommy will help you. Let's go pour it together." This way he has to participate and it won't be as fun to watch you go back and forth back and forth. Also tell him he had to drink his first choice, be firm about it. Simply not giving in to his behavior shows him you won't put up with it. This goes for EVERY time he starts this behavior. Tell him no, tell him he can't play with a certain toy/remote, etc. Be consistent! Be prepared for a temper tantrum with screaming, kicking, etc. (See previous post for how to deal with that). You CANNOT give in to tantrums, it will just perpetuate the craziness. But in the long run, he'll understand he can't get away with messing with mommy.

Kylie, 29, from Queesland asks:
I am 33 weeks pregnant with my first baby. Should my nipples be leaking all ready ,what does this mean?

Stacy Says:
Yup, Kylie, this is completely normal. My friend's breasts actually started leaking when she was 20 weeks. Don't be alarmed. Get some nursing pads. They make washable ones, but I loved Lansinoh disposable ones. They absorbed alot of fluid and NEVER leaked on my clothes! Hope that helps!

Let's face it. Dealing with a screaming child is never fun. But when the child is screaming just to see your reaction, it's downright nerve-rattling. What to do?!

VictorM gives great advice on how to handle a temper tantrum! Here's how he handled these lovely parent-child bonding times:

When my daughter was about two she started these terrible tantrums where she would stomp her feet, bounce herself against the wall, and scream loudly. Her mother and I tried everything to make her stop, but when we did she just got more out of hand. Although we didn’t believe in spanking, there were a couple of times that out of frustration we slapped her legs. Of course, that didn’t help either.

One day we were at a party and that subject came up. Some lady suggested that we simply ignore her when she throws the tantrum. Just keep doing whatever we were doing as if our daughter wasn’t even there. This seemed a bit odd, but we figured we had nothing to lose; whatever we had been trying wasn’t working anyway.

The next time our daughter threw one of these tantrums her mother and I were sitting at the kitchen table having dinner. Her mother’s first reaction was to get up but I held her hand and asked her to give that lady’s suggestion a try. So we both just sat there, eating and talking while our daughter was in the hallway stomping her feet, bouncing between the two walls, and screaming. The more we ignored her, the louder she got.

After a while, the house went silent. We wait a little longer and decided to go check on her. She had gone to her room and had fallen asleep on her bed.

That was the last tantrum she ever threw.

Jennifer is 29 now and we still rub it in her face. :)

How have you handled temper tantrums? Any one way work better? Let me know!

Debbie, 19, from SE Texas asks:
My son is 9 months old, with approx. 5 teeth in his mouth, and though he is quite content with a bottle filled with cereal and baby fruit, he also expresses an interest in eating what us grownups eat and often begs for solid food. I have tried the stage (3) Gerber foods for kids more his age but he absolutely hates them & refuses to eat. Toddler foods and regular foods cut up tiny for him, he seems to choke on and looses interest quickly in eating them, after just one or two bites. Am I pushing him too fast? or is there a way I can get him to experiment with "older" foods in a way that is more appealing for him & at the same time, ensure that he is being properly nourished? What am I doing wrong?

Stacy Says:
It's not that you're doing anything wrong, your son just might not be ready for solids. At this age, formula and/or breast milk still needs to make up the majority of his calories and nutrition, so when all else fails, the bottle/breast will do just fine. If he likes to eat cereal and baby fruit, stick with that. Try to mix it up a bit, but remember at this age, babies get in *moods* where one day they love bananas, the next they don't. And us parents are at their mercy. If he loses interest, don't give up. Just try again in a few days or a few weeks.

Even if he has the teeth, he still might not be ready to use them. I'm assuming when you say Stage 3, it's the kind that is more like solid food? Like small bites. Try the Gerber veggie or fruit puffs. My daughter LOVES them and she doesn't even have any teeth yet. They dissolve in her mouth so she gets used to mashing with her gums/jaw, but doesn't choke on them. Also, biter biscuits are good for him to get used to using his teeth. (Just be warned, very messy so you want to keep an eye on him). But, if he is content with cereal and baby fruit, keep giving it to him. Alternated with formula/breast milk--this will be plenty of nutrients.

If he seems interested in the food you're eating, try and give him some. I might give my daughter some mashed potatoes, an itty bitty piece of a roll she can gum or maybe a little bit of pudding. Just to give her some different textures. Just be patient with your son, he'll come around. We tend to read all the magazine articles and listen to everyone's advice saying at so-and-so months they should do this-and-that. Go at your son's pace! Don't expect him to automatically know what to do with his chompers. He'll get the hang of it.

Liz, from Boston, asks:
I am 13 and my brother is 5 and my mom still breast feeds him 3 or 4 times a day. Is it normal to breast feed a 5 year old? I was never breast fed. I told her it is weird for her to be breast feeding a 5 year old. She says he will stop when he is ready. How can i get her to stop?

Stacy Says:
5 years old?!?!? Whoa, that's a little much. Recommendations from all sorts of medical organizations say to breast feed as long as possible, typically until the baby is 1 year old. 5 is WAY TOO OLD to be breast fed. I mean, does he have to leave kindergarten for a mid-morning snack? Does she feed him in public? Only at home? What does daddy think?

This is not a case of your brother stopping when he is ready, your mom is obviously not ready to let him grow up. Sounds like your mom is really having a hard time mentally dealing with your brother growing up. Maybe she knows she won't have another baby and doesn't want to let go of that experience. BUT, she really needs to move on. Breastfeeding for this long is not necessary--he's TOO OLD! Unfortunately, there's not much you can do. Tell her it makes you VERY uncomfortable and that none of your friend's little brothers are still breastfeeding (I'm just assuming that no one else does, right?). Tell her you think he's too old. Tell her you think it's icky. I'm not saying telling her will do any good and make her stop. But the least you could do is try.

Ali, from MI asks:
My husband and I are not using any form of birth control and he went to pull out and got a little in me. It's time for my period and I have not started yet but it has only been a week. I wanted to know what my chances are of being pregnant.

Stacy Says:
Like I've said before, EVERY TIME you have sex, there's a chance of getting pregnant. Especially if you aren't using any form of birth control. You're playing with fire there if preventing a pregnancy is the plan for now! If it's time for your period to start and you haven't--don't freak out! The mind has an incredible influence on your body and hormones. If you start stressing that you aren't starting your period, you might actually convince your body not to start. It's a wacko mind-trick us females have. Especially if you aren't regular to begin with.

But since it is time for your period to start, take a pregnancy test ($3 at Wal-Mart) to know for sure. And in the meantime, if you and your husband are waiting to start a family--GET SOME BIRTH CONTROL! Condoms, pills, Nuvaring, Ortho-Evra patch, IUD, Depo-Provera...there are too many birth control methods out there to use the unreliable, messy pull-out method!

Seeing your child hurting and sick is probably more than your heart can bear. As a parent, you want to fix it...and, like, NOW! Mistakenly, the majority of parents think the only way to fix an illness is with an antibiotic. But a majority of childhood illnesses are caused by viruses, not bacteria, and therefore are not susceptible to antibiotics.

Here's a little mini-review of microbiology. Bacteria are living organisms that are found everywhere. We even have good bacteria on us (on the skin) and inside us (digestive tract). Harmful bacteria can mulitply inside the body and interfere with normal processes. Antibiotics stop the growth and reprodution of these organisms. Viruses are NOT living. They are only genetic material wrapped in a protein coat that mulitply only after they've invaded a living cell. (That's an even more in-depth review which I will spare you from) Colds, flu and chicken pox are examples of viruses. Antibiotics DO NOT kill viruses.

As a parent, then, what should I do? First, know this. Antibiotic overuse is causing a resistance to antibiotics. Meaning, the viruses and bacteria are just getting tougher against the typical antibiotics (Penicillin, Amoxicillin, etc.) and we are having to use stronger and stronger antibiotics to fight these infections. Second, keep in mind that MOST illnesses will run their course without any kind of medical intervention. Studies are being done right now that show even ear infections will resolve without any antibiotics. So, before insisting your health care practitioner give your child an antibiotics keep this in mind:

• You can only treat bacterial infections with antibiotics. When your child first starts showing symptoms, call the your health care practitioner. If she/he tells you to watch and wait--don't assume they are ignoring your child. Most illnesses will resolve within 7-10 days. And while it's an agonizing wait, it will be better for your child in the long run. In the meantime, ask your practitioner what kinds of medicines you can give to help the symptoms like pain, sore throat and congestion. Even if the symptoms don't get any worse but stick around for awhile, call the practitioner again.
  
• NEVER use someone else's antibiotics. Don't use your older child's that has been in the medicine cabinent for who knows how long. For one, they are probably expired and not effective anymore. And two, you are not a doctor and cannot prescribe medications! And please, please please, do not give your child the same anitbiotics YOU took. The dosing is different for kids and you can really harm your child.
• FINISH THE ENTIRE PRESCRIPTION OF ANTIBIOTICS. If you only take half the bottle then you only kill half the bacteria. Simple enough, right? There IS a reason why you are supposed to take the medicine for the prescribed amount of days.
  

Remember, you are trying to avoid antibiotic resistance! Don't assume antibiotics are the panacea for every imaginable disease there is. While dealing with a cranky, fussy, can't-be-pleased child is wearing on the nerves, in the long run you are doing what's best for the fuss-pot!

Jennifer asks:
What happens if you are pregnant and you are on the birthcontrol patch called evra (Ortho-evra)? What could happen to the baby if I am pregnant? Can it hurt the baby from the time I was on it?

Stacy Says:
The patch works similarly to birth control pills--releases hormones at certain times to "trick" your body into not ovulating. So, if you were to become pregnant while on the patch, your baby would be getting extra hormones. Technically, we really have no way of knowing if these hormones have a bad effect on the baby because scientists can't exactly do a study on fetuses (Would you sign up to take an experimental drug while you're pregnant?).

If you think you might be pregnant, get a pregnancy test. One sign of pregnancy--have you had your period? If you haven't, take the test to be sure. If you had your period but are just feeling really paranoid, take the test. Only $3 at Wal-Mart. Other signs of pregnancyy are nausea and/or vomiting, breast tenderness, fatigue. You could have all or none. If you are, STOP USING THE PATCH. Not only do you not need to give the baby extra hormones, the patch kinda screwed up it's whole purpose at that point.

If you do become pregnant while on the patch, the likelihood of the baby suffering any effects are very, very slim. Plenty of women have become pregant while on the pill and their baby was just fine. As long as you stop using the patch/pills when you FIND OUT you're pregnant, you and the baby should be fine. I had minor surgery on my foot before I knew I was pregnant and was taking narcotics and muscle relaxers (but stopped the moment I found out I was pregnant) and my daughter was perfectly healthy.

Michelle, from Woking asks:
My toddler's urine smells really strong, like ammonia, can you help?

Stacy Says:
Little girls are much more prone to urine infections that little boys. Especially if she is still wearing diapers. Mainly to due with their anatomy (alot easier for poopy to travel, you know, up there). She might have a urinary tract infection. Is she having any stomach pain, vomiting, fever? Does it seem to hurt her when she pees? Is the urine a different color? Darker? Any blood in the urine?

If it's darker, she could also be a little dehydrated. Maybe she hasn't been eating and drinking as much lately and the urine has become more concentrated? My daughter just went through a stomach bug and didn't pee for awhile and phew! I would call your health practitioner and let her/him know and describe ANYTHING that has been abnormal or if she has any of the symptoms I listed. In any case, try to push some fluids in her. If it's an infection, extra fluids attempts to flush it out. If she's getting a little dehydrated, it gives her the fluids she needs! Winner all-around.

Sharon, from Port Lincoln, Australia asks:
I am between 7 to 10 weeeks pregnant and today I have had a brownish mucusy discharge--it has not got worse and it is fainlty going away but i am wondering if there is anything wrong? I have not had any pain at all and I can feel slight gentle movement in my tummy? Can you give me some advice?

Stacy Says:
Thin, clear, mucus-like discharge is very normal. I spotted my whole pregnancy. I bought stock in pantiliners. But brownish is not always normal. Did you recently get a vaginal exam? Sometimes you might bleed a little from that. Did you have sex? With all the extra blood flow and tissues that migrate to the uterus during pregnancy, bleeding a little can happen after sex. I know, it's a bummer--again, that's why you have the pantiliners! Either way, call your health practitioner and let her/him know.

Occasionally bloody (even pink or brown) discharge can be a sign of infection, preterm labor or even a miscarriage. I don't want to scare you, but it's better to be on the safe side and alert your MD/CNM. Even if it has gone away. However, miscarriage and preterm labor is generally accompanied by abdominal pain and cramping. The feeling you're having of a slight movement in your tummy can also be the muscles around the uterus giving and stretching and is very normal throughout the pregnancy. Better to be on the safe side and just check with your MD/CNM!

Growing up, I never had a desire to be in the Girl Scouts. Something about the green uniforms? Maybe. For whatever the reason, I am regretting it now. What's their motto...always be prepared? Or is that the Boy Scouts?

My husband and I recently went to an all-day basketball tournament. A bunch of 12- and 13-year-olds playing basketball is THE most fun to watch (Not to mention the several heart attacks I had when we tied a game). I thought I had prepared the diaper bag with everything we needed. Or did my husband do it? See, that was problem #1. No checking of the bag before leaving. Problem #2, I forgot my purse! What woman forgets their purse...with the cash to get into the game, cell phone, the extra pacifier?!?! I should have known disaster was coming.

The games were ALL DAY. My daughter was doing wonderful. A little cranky at times but all we had to do was get up and walk around and she was fine. Then we went to dinner before the championship game. We had one more jar of baby food, thankfully. Before we left the restaurant we wanted to change her (just in case) before we went back to the gym and there was nothing to change her on. And since there was a changing station ONLY in the women's bathroom (that is a whole other soap box--don't get me started), I got the honors.

While waiting for the mother ahead of me whose son was crying because apparently he liked having warm wet urine on his butt, I started to smell something. Assuming it was the boy on the changing table (maybe he went poo-poo and not pee-pee), I didn't think anything of it.

Finally, my turn. As I lay her down and take off her pants I notice...it. Aw, man. The smell is coming from her! Poo coming out of the diaper....uh-oh. I'll spare all the weak-stomached people all the disgusting details. Long story short, it was EVERYWHERE. Back, arms, legs, feet, it even got on the pad underneath her. All the while, she's turning her entire body to look behind her at the shiny metal bar (Whoever was the brilliant planner behind THAT decision should be fired). So, while trying to hold her down I'm looking for another shirt, another onesie--ANYTHING. And there's NOTHING. Oh my gosh. So I clean her up, praying I've got everything off of her, put on her jacket and head out.

And for those of you wondering, the poo-drenched shirt she was wearing was tossed in the trashcan. There was no saving it.

My husband looks at me with an exasperated look, "Honey, what took so long?"

Did he just say that? Oh no he didn't. Then he notices the jacket on and no shirt underneath. "Uh-oh," he says, "What happened?"

"I would have given $20 if you could have come in there to help me."

Then we had to go to the Dollar store for some extra onesies (since it was 38 degrees outside and no good parent would let her daughter wear nothing but a teeny sweatshirt jacket) and to the grocery store for some extra formula (since she had already eaten all her baby food PLUS the two bottles we made) before heading back to the game.

Moral of the story--ALWAYS bring more than you think you are going to need. Yeah, you will feel like you're taking a suitcase for a weekend getaway. But believe me, so much betterto have it and not need it than need it and not have it, especially with infants, toddlers...heck, even teenagers. To avoid the stress of the day I had, here are some things to pack for an all-day trip:

-At least two extra onesies/shirts/outfits (it's amazing how kids can dirty the clean onesie 5 seconds after you put it on)

-Extra diapers with a full case of wipes (did I say it was everywhere?)

-Two extra burpcloths (picture the first one getting drenched in some kind of accident...milk, juice, water, bodily fluids...)

-An extra bib (especially for the droolers out there)

- When it comes to food, you can't bring enough. It's impossible. If the baby is going to eat 3 jars of baby food--bring 6. This is what we do (or what we're going to do). Fix two bottles and then bring the can of formula. Put two jars of baby food in the diaper bag and keep 4 or 5 in the car.
We keep what we need in the diaper bag then put any extra in the car...just in case (notice a theme here?).

-Any medicines you might need. In a ziploc bag we keep diaper rash creme, baby orajel, Infant's Mylicon gas drops, etc.

-Extra toys. And extra pacifiers. We have a bigger ziploc bag that we keep several toys in that stay in the diaper bag. She might not see it for awhile and then it becomes a whole new toy since she only sees it in the car or when she gets bored when we're out.

Are there any other suggestions from any mothers/fathers?

Think of preparing the diaper bag like preparing an emergency kit when going to the wilderness. You have to think ahead for ANY emergencies that might come up.

And please, don't get stuck 30 miles from home and have your kid go half-naked. You definitely will hurt your chances for getting Mother of the Year.

Lynn, 13, from LA asks:
I really wanna have a kid when I'm young so I can do more stuff with him/her. I also love and adore kids. Should I try or should I wait?

Stacy Says:
Oh my goodness...WAIT!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! You are ONLY 13! You will be "young" enough to have kids for at least 20 years, if not more than that! There is plenty of time to have kids. And you will still be able to do "stuff" with the baby! Finish high school, go to college, travel the world, start a career and most importantly...find a husband first! You can't go thinking about starting a family with the key ingredient missing! Relax, enjoy growing up. The time to have kids will come--don't rush it!

Jessica, 14, from Norcross asks:
I just had sex for the first time, could I be pregnant?

Stacy Says:
Of course you could be pregnant!!!! I could go into a long explanation of the female's menstruation cycle and when you might be most fertile, blah, blah, blah. But the bottom line is this. EVERY TIME you have a sex there's a possibility you can get pregnant. Just like EVERY TIME you have sex there's a chance you can get HIV, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, HPV (gential warts), Herpes, Syphillis, crabs, etc. I'm not even going to ask if you used condoms, birth control pills, Nuvaring, the patch--it doesn't matter because NOTHING is 100% effective against preventing pregancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

You're FOURTEEN!!!!! Sex is meant for adults in a monagomous relationship where the possiblity of getting pregnant would be a blessing. STOP HAVING SEX!!! You are not ready for all the responsibilities, stress, pressure, adult-issues that come with sex. Hold hands, cuddle, hug, kiss--there's a billion ways to show love and affection besides sex.

Good Morning America has reen running a series, "The Mommy Wars." Full article here. One of their guests was Linda Hirschman, a law professor/working mom who wrote an article about working mothers in 2005 for American Prospect Magazine. She states that "an alarming number of college-educated women are leaving the work force to stay at home and raise their children, a trend that is a tragedy not only for mothers, but ultimately their children and women as a whole."

She goes on to say choosing to stay home is bad for women. "A good life for humans includes the classical standard of using one's capacities for speech and reason in a prudent way, the liberal requirement of having enough autonomy to direct one's own life, and the utilitarian test of doing more good than harm in the world," Hirshman wrote. "Measured against these time-tested standards, the expensively educated, upper-class moms will be leading lesser lives."

"Statistically there is no difference in the happiness levels of the children whose mothers work and the children whose mothers stay at home," she says.

What on earth?! I don't need statistics to tell me that my child WILL benefit from being raised by her parent, be it mother or father. I don't need statistics to tell me that staying at home to raise my child WILL make my child happy, content and secure.

And who is this woman to say that "a good life for humans includes the classical standard of using one's capacities for speech and reason in a prudent way." Look, lady. Maybe MY idea of a good life is staying home and playing patty-cake with my daughter, taking her to the playground and going to mommy-and-me classes. And so do I lose my capacity for speech and reason by not having intellectual conversations? Since it's not used in a prudent way is it meaningless? A lesser life? You got some nerve, woman.

Raising a child is THE toughest job a woman, or man, can do. It is an awesome responsibility that does not end at 5 pm. It is a 24/7 job, with overtime and on-call duties. To actually be the person responsible for molding and directing a totally impressionable mind--it can be an overwhelming task. Creating my child to be a morally-conscious, disciplined, joyous human IS a job that DOES NOT have detrimental consequences for myself or my daughter if I'm a working mom or a stay-at home mom.

Right now, my husband is staying home with our daughter but soon we will be switching. Daddies leaving the workforce is a trend happening across America and it made sense for our family. We made the priority of one of us to be home with her at all times. We wanted the same faith and morals that WE had to be passed on to her. We did not want to drop her off at day care or rely on a babysitter to instill these values. But my beliefs still are the same, even if I am not the parent staying home.

I hate to go to work. I just adore that little girl and every morning I say good-bye to her my heart just melts. But it makes me feel good knowing that my husband, her daddy, will be with her all day. It's what works for us, and that's what counts. If you're a woman who just couldn't stand to be home all day--WORK! If you can't stand to be away from your kids--STAY HOME! And don't feel guilty about the choices you make. Decide to do what's best for your family and your child. Don't let studies and "experts" dictate how you run your lives and raise your child.

Any opinions???

The entire process of creating a child to actually giving birth is an incredibly intricate journey. The changes that happen to you physically, mentally and emotionally are unlike any you will ever go through. And yes, dads can go through changes, too. Maybe not as many physically (although my husband lost weight, can you believe it?! Just rubbed it in my face) but it's an emotional time for everyone involved.

And it doesn't stop at pregnancy! After the baby is born you start a whole other journey called I-have-no-idea-what-to-do-but-he/she-expects-
me-to-do-something. The visions of being a perfect mother, i.e. having this beautiful, tender moment where the baby is nursing late at night and it's just you and her and she looks into your eyes-just knowing she belongs to you..you know, like the Pampers commercials that come on when you're watching A Baby's Story on TLC? Turn into her screaming, kicking, punching your boob cause the milk won't come fast enough so you end up giving her the bottle of formula again 'cause you just can't fight her at 3 am with only 3 hours sleep and now you have to pump the milk with a double-action pumper/sucker to give to her when she finally decides your milk is worthy enough for her.

Enter this blog. This blog is for all those mothers, and fathers, with questions, experiences and worked-for-me advice. Nothing can substitute good 'ol fashioned living and learning, but a little extra help is ALWAYS NEEDED. Got questions on how to quiet a 2 week old from piercing screams for what seems like no reason? I've been there. Wanna tell everyone about the greatest invention ever and has been the saving grace in your life? Tell me about it. Did your kid say the most embarrassing thing to the in-laws? I definitely wanna hear that!

And no topic is turned down. Swollen boobs, blue twinkies (Jenny McCarthy was right!), puffy feet, nursing, pumping, sex after a c-section, the pain of birth (and yes, don't believe the mothers who say,"I forgot all about the pain as soon as I saw the baby." Load of bull--ouchy, ouch, ouch), diapers, feeding, going to work/staying home, emotions, hormones, you name it, I probably got an opinion on it. And if I don't, I'm sure plenty of mommies and daddies do.

Having my daughter was the single most life-changing event I've ever experienced. Not only did my body massively transform physically, but I got on an emotional roller coaster that didn't suddenly end at childbirth, which I thought it might. I'm not one for those surprising turns.

After 9 months of hormones galore, I thought this instant mother-instinct might kick in and I would know EXACTLY what to do in every situation. The perfect mother, of course. Uh, yeah...not even close. After being sleep deprived for over 5 days (40 hours of labor plus recovery time), I didn't even have the energy to think about brushing my teeth, let alone take care of a newborn. But the darling angel had other plans. Feed me, hold me, change me, burp me, I'm cold, I'm scared, I'm lonely--yes, all of this comes out as WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH and it's the mommy's and daddy's job to decipher the secret baby code.

After birth, you then become responsible for a whole other human being. A whole other human being! This other person pops out of you and the nurses and doctors expect you to know what to with it? I stay at the hospital for 3 days, sharing some of the responsibility with the nurses and then suddenly they kick me out, deeming me ready to be a mother on my own. Huh? I can barely balance my checkbook and now I'm responsible for another life?! But these beautiful eyes look at me saying, "I trust you, mommy." This tiny little baby is COMPLETELY dependent on me. For everything. Am I supposed to know what to do?

But somehow, you just get through it. I think it's from pure adrenaline. Well, adrenaline mixed with a whole lotta love and devotion...

EVERYTHING changes when you have a baby. From what you consider to be a good night's sleep to what you consider a decent meal. Even to what you consider to be a "clean" shirt. Here are some things that change when you have a baby:

1. The definition of a "good-day" is one where you and the baby do not have to change clothes 3 times...maybe only once.

2. Your idea of entertainment is watching your baby discover she can open and close her fist.

3. Ba-da-ma-ma-ma is an ACTUAL word.

4. You find yourself singing, "Jumper-roo, Jumper-roo, Jumper-roo" at work.

5. You keep calling your husband chunky-butt, honey-pie, little booger (Well, you might do that normally)

6. You find yourself thinking that Banana Pudding with Pears and Apples baby food would really make a good snack so you start licking the empty jar.

7. A good night's sleep could be just 3 hours without waking up to shrill screams of hunger.

8. You realize you haven't thought about yourself all day. Instead you thought about the baby maybe 4,765 times.

9. There's a way better reason to come home after work, not just to relax or to see your significant other--but rather to see that smile and face light up when you walk through the door. The greatest stress-reliever ever invented.

10. You ACTUALLY clean your baby's pacifier by putting it in YOUR mouth when you're out and there's no sink in sight after she decided to throw the pacifier on the ground. And it really doesn't disgust you at all.