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Wednesday, December 20, 2006
We Need a Jolt
Wings, 38
Ontario
Asks:
What is the best way to have a woman of 6 years fall in love with you? I asked for her hand and she said yes, but due to my stress filled business I was over looking the big picture. I'm no longer with the company and it seems to be going smoother but we need a jolt of some kind. Please advise.
Lee's Thoughts:
I have no idea what "a woman of 6 years" is. Is this a woman of 6 years old?!?!? Is this a woman you've been dating for 6 years? I'm hoping that we're talking about the latter. You asked for her hand in marriage I guess? Not on a platter hopefully. So you are engaged and she is not in love with you? Yeah, that's a problem, and it has nothing to do with your job.
I'll give you the same advice I give to our 13 year old readers. Be nice to her. Pay attention to her. Make HER feel loved. It sounds like you've forgotten these essentials. That will be a nice jolt.
Ontario
Asks:
What is the best way to have a woman of 6 years fall in love with you? I asked for her hand and she said yes, but due to my stress filled business I was over looking the big picture. I'm no longer with the company and it seems to be going smoother but we need a jolt of some kind. Please advise.
Lee's Thoughts:
I have no idea what "a woman of 6 years" is. Is this a woman of 6 years old?!?!? Is this a woman you've been dating for 6 years? I'm hoping that we're talking about the latter. You asked for her hand in marriage I guess? Not on a platter hopefully. So you are engaged and she is not in love with you? Yeah, that's a problem, and it has nothing to do with your job.
I'll give you the same advice I give to our 13 year old readers. Be nice to her. Pay attention to her. Make HER feel loved. It sounds like you've forgotten these essentials. That will be a nice jolt.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
He Wants Another Chance
Jo, 15
Ohio
Asks:
I dated a girl about a year ago. I did something really stupid and we broke up. Her friends say she still likes me. I like her and I want to ask her out again. She hasn't said herself that she likes me though. I want to ask her out again. How should I approach the matter?
Lee's Thoughts:
I would say that the friend-connection is a good source of info. They have her best interests at heart and they would not have let it slip that she likes you if she didn't.
What to do? Start by taking it slowly. Just talk to her normally, like a guy friend. Say hello in the hallways. Compliment her on her basketball game last night (or dance recital, or art show, or band performance...whatEVER). Be NICE to her and show her some interest. That will definitely set things in motion in a smooth way. You want to become friends with her again.
When you've done that, be alert for the moment to see if she's ready to take it to the non-platonic level. You can ask her to a dance, invite her out for pizza after school, a movie, anything fun and easy and there you go! You're dating!!
Just take it easy. Don't stress about whatever stupid thing you did back in the day. We've all done something stupid. If it comes up, just laugh it off and admit that you would take it back if you could.
Let us know how it goes!!
Ohio
Asks:
I dated a girl about a year ago. I did something really stupid and we broke up. Her friends say she still likes me. I like her and I want to ask her out again. She hasn't said herself that she likes me though. I want to ask her out again. How should I approach the matter?
Lee's Thoughts:
I would say that the friend-connection is a good source of info. They have her best interests at heart and they would not have let it slip that she likes you if she didn't.
What to do? Start by taking it slowly. Just talk to her normally, like a guy friend. Say hello in the hallways. Compliment her on her basketball game last night (or dance recital, or art show, or band performance...whatEVER). Be NICE to her and show her some interest. That will definitely set things in motion in a smooth way. You want to become friends with her again.
When you've done that, be alert for the moment to see if she's ready to take it to the non-platonic level. You can ask her to a dance, invite her out for pizza after school, a movie, anything fun and easy and there you go! You're dating!!
Just take it easy. Don't stress about whatever stupid thing you did back in the day. We've all done something stupid. If it comes up, just laugh it off and admit that you would take it back if you could.
Let us know how it goes!!
Monday, December 18, 2006
Long-Distance Drama
Franco, 30
Phoenix
Asks:
I have been chatting online with a girl for about 8 months on and off. She is from another country and is going to university. I was getting ready to visit her back in August but things happened and 1 week before my trip I had to cancel. I called her on the phone to let her know and she was very upset. She said that she had planned things for us, she took vacation from work and she also told me that although it may seem selfish on her part, she does not want me to visit her anymore, call her etc.
She sent me an e-mail after a few months, telling me that she changed her phone number. She also told me that she was thinking about me and dreaming about us meeting at the airport for the first time. (She had gone to the airport and sat there thinking about me.) She also said that she hates feeling this way because it may not work between us and that she has to forget. Well I decided to visit her for 4 days. It was amazing. I have very strong feelings for her and she told me the same. She wanted me to stay with her and not go back to the USA.
Well, I came back a few days ago and I called her on the phone. The conversation was nice. I could feel her love. I have not felt like that for a long time. I would love to be with her forever. She plans to go to the US after graduation (internship). She does not know were but I have the feeling that she does not want to live here in Phoenix with me. After that she plans to go to Europe for a few months and then after that she will consider having a boyfriend and getting married. With me or someone else.These are her own words. Now when we chat I get the sensation that she is cold with me. As if it bothers her when I call her. I don't want to upset her and seem as if I am a possessive person. Please give me some advice.
Lee's Thoughts:
It sounds as if you both see some possibility in this relationship. The key is, you must both be willing to start making some plans to be with each other on a more regular basis. Long distance relationships cannot work without some sort of goal of being together in the future. If you want to be with her, you need to express that you would like her to look for internships in Phoenix. If she interns in the U.S., but 500 miles away from you, that doesn't do any good. She may be waiting for you to show some interest before she makes any final plans. If you tell her your feelings and she still doesn't want to be with you after graduation, I don't see how this relationship can work.
If you can be together in the same city for a few months, you'll have a better idea about if a relationship is possible. If things are going well after that, why not go to Europe together?
She needs to know that you care, that she is not just some one-time fling. Telling her that is not "being possessive", its being romantic. She's told you how she feels, now its your turn. You will have to risk sharing your feelings or she will continue to be cold in defense of her heart and herself.
Phoenix
Asks:
I have been chatting online with a girl for about 8 months on and off. She is from another country and is going to university. I was getting ready to visit her back in August but things happened and 1 week before my trip I had to cancel. I called her on the phone to let her know and she was very upset. She said that she had planned things for us, she took vacation from work and she also told me that although it may seem selfish on her part, she does not want me to visit her anymore, call her etc.
She sent me an e-mail after a few months, telling me that she changed her phone number. She also told me that she was thinking about me and dreaming about us meeting at the airport for the first time. (She had gone to the airport and sat there thinking about me.) She also said that she hates feeling this way because it may not work between us and that she has to forget. Well I decided to visit her for 4 days. It was amazing. I have very strong feelings for her and she told me the same. She wanted me to stay with her and not go back to the USA.
Well, I came back a few days ago and I called her on the phone. The conversation was nice. I could feel her love. I have not felt like that for a long time. I would love to be with her forever. She plans to go to the US after graduation (internship). She does not know were but I have the feeling that she does not want to live here in Phoenix with me. After that she plans to go to Europe for a few months and then after that she will consider having a boyfriend and getting married. With me or someone else.These are her own words. Now when we chat I get the sensation that she is cold with me. As if it bothers her when I call her. I don't want to upset her and seem as if I am a possessive person. Please give me some advice.
Lee's Thoughts:
It sounds as if you both see some possibility in this relationship. The key is, you must both be willing to start making some plans to be with each other on a more regular basis. Long distance relationships cannot work without some sort of goal of being together in the future. If you want to be with her, you need to express that you would like her to look for internships in Phoenix. If she interns in the U.S., but 500 miles away from you, that doesn't do any good. She may be waiting for you to show some interest before she makes any final plans. If you tell her your feelings and she still doesn't want to be with you after graduation, I don't see how this relationship can work.
If you can be together in the same city for a few months, you'll have a better idea about if a relationship is possible. If things are going well after that, why not go to Europe together?
She needs to know that you care, that she is not just some one-time fling. Telling her that is not "being possessive", its being romantic. She's told you how she feels, now its your turn. You will have to risk sharing your feelings or she will continue to be cold in defense of her heart and herself.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Asking without Asking
Claire, 13
Ludlow
Asks:
What's the perfect way to ask out a guy,without having to ask him face to face? I mean to ask him if he wants to be my boyfriend.
Lee's Thoughts:
If you cannot have a serious face to face conversation with this person, you just aren't ready to have him as a boyfriend. Sorry. It's part of being a mature person and I guess you just aren't there right now. Wait until next year.
Ludlow
Asks:
What's the perfect way to ask out a guy,without having to ask him face to face? I mean to ask him if he wants to be my boyfriend.
Lee's Thoughts:
If you cannot have a serious face to face conversation with this person, you just aren't ready to have him as a boyfriend. Sorry. It's part of being a mature person and I guess you just aren't there right now. Wait until next year.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Pregnancy Without Sex??
Jaime, 15
California
Asks:
I have never had sex with a guy. I hate sounding stupid because I know that no sex= no baby. But I'm always naked with my boyfriend when we do stuff and I'm wondering if accidentally I may have gotten pregnant somehow? Is this possible? Am I just imagining being late on my period?
Lee's Thoughts:
YES this is possible. Even if there is no penetration, as long as his ejaculate gets near your vagina, those tough little sperm can get up inside of you and to your eggs. Also, he doesn't even NEED to ejaculate. If you notice, guys release a tiny bit of clear liquid before they actually come at all. This stuff is packed with sperm too, so even if you are having sex and he is pulling out before he comes (the oh-so-popular "pull out and pray" method)...there is a huge chance you could be changing diapers in nine months. Even if he is just rubbing around on the outside, STILL a huge change for pregnancy.
If you think you are mature enough for this type of closeness, then you should be mature enough to talk to your mom and make an appointment for the gynecologist to get on some sort of birth control. And always back up your pill with yet another method.
California
Asks:
I have never had sex with a guy. I hate sounding stupid because I know that no sex= no baby. But I'm always naked with my boyfriend when we do stuff and I'm wondering if accidentally I may have gotten pregnant somehow? Is this possible? Am I just imagining being late on my period?
Lee's Thoughts:
YES this is possible. Even if there is no penetration, as long as his ejaculate gets near your vagina, those tough little sperm can get up inside of you and to your eggs. Also, he doesn't even NEED to ejaculate. If you notice, guys release a tiny bit of clear liquid before they actually come at all. This stuff is packed with sperm too, so even if you are having sex and he is pulling out before he comes (the oh-so-popular "pull out and pray" method)...there is a huge chance you could be changing diapers in nine months. Even if he is just rubbing around on the outside, STILL a huge change for pregnancy.
If you think you are mature enough for this type of closeness, then you should be mature enough to talk to your mom and make an appointment for the gynecologist to get on some sort of birth control. And always back up your pill with yet another method.
