Andy, 16
California
Asks:

I started dating a girl and she came to my house to swim but we never really did much. I asked her out August 24, 2006 and she dumped me August 29, 2006. I don’t know how to get over it but I really liked her and I think I am falling into depression because she said she thinks we make better friends.

Now I have had several girlfriends but this one was different. She and I didn’t actually GO OUT we did more talking and hugging than anything. The thing that disturbs me most is when we were just let out of school and I walked up to her and held her hand for the first time, because I was too embarrassed to do it any other time. We were walking down the hallway and about 3 minutes after I held her hand she said "Andy I need to talk to you" I knew where this was going. I knew she going to dump me right there. Her words were "I think we make better friends".

We are still going to be friends but I actually thought that we were going to last for a couple weeks. I know that we are just in high school. I understand that we aren’t going to get married or anything but why would she say yes to dating me if she new she wasn’t going to for more than 5 days? Why did she lead me on?

I put my arm around her, I told her that I thought she was the most beautiful girl I had seen. I told her that she had a gorgeous smile. I hardly ever talked about myself. Why did she just blow me off like that? Why did she let me hold her and make moves? I mean all we ever did was hug, cuddle, and talk, but still it could have opened a door to a whole new situation. Please if you could give me some good advice I need some. I need someone to tell me what went wrong in our relationship.

I just know that I think I may have loved her. What can you tell me?

Lee's Thoughts:

Andy. I'm sorry you had to go through this, but I have to defend your girl...because I did the exact same thing when I was in high school. I started *dating* a guy friend of mine and we would hang out as a group with our other friends, but never WENT OUT. After (literally) five days, I just knew that there was no magic there. I just knew that there was no loving feelings (for my part) that we could build a relationship on. He was perfectly sweet and funny and the greatest guy ever (we are friends to this day and we had a wonderful time together at my *mumble*-year high school reunion) BUT I just wasn't *feeling* it.

It happens. It may happen again and you may be on the other side of it. It doesn't mean that she or you did anything wrong. It just wasn't right and yes it is possible to discover this after only five days. It's actually more of a blessing that you found out so quickly instead of dating and falling deeper and deeper in love and then being crushed even more painfully.

Also, remember that it SUCKS to be the breaker-upper. It SUCKS to be responsible for breaking someone's heart. But, you wouldn't want her to stay with you if she didn't have the same feelings, would you? Sometimes its just easier to distance yourself from that person and make a clean break. So, she's really not trying to be a bitch. She's really just trying to cause you the least amount of pain possible.

Think of it this way, you had to have your heart broken SOMETIME in your life. Right? Aren't you glad it was her?...That she gets to be in your memory and in your life forever as THE first heart-breaker? (Okay, maybe not.)

You don't want someone who doesn't wany you anyway. So, give yourself some time to feel this pain and then move on. There's not much to learn here. Not every girl you like will like you. You just have to deal. It sucks, but we all go through it. More fish in the sea...and all that.

Leonardo, 20
New Jersey
Asks:

I broke up with my girlfriend in December. We tried still being friends, but she was acting like we never ever went out (and we did for a year), so I totally broke ties with her. Here I am months later still thinking about her and I don't know how to stop. She's going off to college and I'm going to the middle east to cool off for a while. Did I make the right move by breaking ties?

Also, how do I get those memories of how we met, dated and broke up out of my head and just move on? I had a new girlfriend after her and still it didn't help. I can't help but think what she is doing now and what is she going to be doing next week when she's officially a "college" girl.

Lee's Thoughts:

I have a trite, cheesy, but true answer for you....TIME. Time really does heal all (okay, well 90% of all) wounds. It is very rare that a couple can stay platonic friends immediately after a break-up. People need space after a relationship to simply re-adjust to the new circumstances, even if the breakup was perfectly amicable and clean.

She's going to college and you're going to the middle east (to cool off?!?!). You don't really have any options here. You just have to get over it. Focus on whatever it is that you'll be doing over there. Put your energy towards keeping in contact with your family and your friends. You will both be having separate and independent adventures. You need to just go with that.

However, if when you get back, you happen to feel the urge...go ahead and give her a call! Go visit if you want. Take her out to lunch. Keep it simple.

One of three things will happen, either...

a) Sparks will fly and love will blossom.

b) You'll become great platonic friends and she'll give you pointers about picking up girls.

c) You'll feel nothing. You'll be happy to have known her, but happy to say goodbye as well. She'll fade away quickly.

Time has a funny way of melting all of the craziness of the past and reminding you of how far you've come. By the time you get back, you'll both be different people in different places in your life. For right now, you definitely made the right decision to break off ties. This will give you both time to mature independently of each other. You will fulfill your hearts on your own terms. By the time you meet again you'll be strong stable adults and you'll have a clearer idea about whether or not you belong together. Just take your trip. Focus on yourself and your loved ones and let time work its magic.

Jordan, 14
Asks:

I broke up with my boyfriend! I still like him. How do I tell if he still likes me without asking him?I don't want to ruin our friendship.

Lee's Thoughts:

You need to leave this poor boy alone. YOU broke up with him. Now deal with it. You don't get to screw around with people like that. Even if he DOES still like you, he should stay far away from you, because you don't care about him. You are too wrapped up in yourself and your on-again off-again daily soap opera.

I'd suggest holding off on relationships with any boys right now. Decide what you want. Decide what you believe. Find some stability within your own mind before you start including others in your drama.

Michael, 22
Nigeria
Asks:

How do I know if she wants to be my girlfriend?

Lee's Thoughts:

This might work:

"Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

or...

"What do you think about becoming my girlfriend?"

what about...

"I'd like you to be my girlfriend. What do you think?"

or maybe..

"Let's start dating exclusively."

Good luck!!

Chelsea, 14
Maryland
Asks:

Thanx for the advice Lee!

But something else happened. I was talkin to a guy friend of mine and now we are friends with benefits. But the thing is, he and I grew up together I'm best friends with his sister. We have never done anything like that before. Now we are makin out and so on...Should I do this even if I have feelings for him and he doesn't know. Does he like me and I don't know? Should I continue doing things with him or should I stop?

Lee's Thoughts:

You can do whatever your little heart desires. Are you asking because you aren't sure if this is the right thing to do? If you are unsure...STOP. Be very careful about your sexual boundaries, because if you don't respect them, no one will. (And pleasePLEASE don't go as far as to have sex with him...thanks.)

As for if he likes you, why don't you spend a little more time with him before you start worrying about that? As a matter of fact, why don't you spend more time with him before YOU decide that you have *feelings* for him. Let's say, one month. Beginning today, give yourself one month of hanging out with him and having fun and learning about each other before you even ponder *feelings*, his or yours. You seem to get all psyched for certain boys pretty quickly. It may help if you just take the pressure off of yourself and just have FUN. Try that, and write back on September 24th.

Jasmine, 18
Florida
Asks:

Hi, last month I did not get my period, but this month I got it in the beginning of the month. I was vomitting for 3 days and I have had many symptoms. Could it be that I'm pregnant?

Lee's Thoughts:

This is not the great mystery of the ages people!!!!!!

YES. YOU COULD BE PREGNANT.

NO. I DON'T HAVE THE PSYCHIC POWERS TO TELL YOU FOR SURE.

GO TAKE A PREG TEST FROM THE GROCERY STORE.

GO TO YOUR DOCTOR.

IF YOU HAVE SEX, YOU RUN THE RISK OF PREGNANCY.

Will all ladies and gents currently having any sort of sex protected or otherwise, please print out these words and remember them until you die?!?!?!?! PLEASE??

Archie, 48
New Hampshire
Asks:

I have been friends with a women who is 25. I work with her. We have played tennis a few times gone out to eat lunch, little things like that. I do like her, but I have kept it to a friendship type thing because of the age difference. Now, out of the blue, she seems to be mad at me. I have never shown anger, I don't think I have said anything to hurt her. Do you think she expected more or does she just want me to leave her alone.

Lee's Thoughts:

Archie...welcome to the wonderful world of *interpreting the female mood swing*. It can be ridiculously annoying at times, but well worth it in the end (if you're with the right gal).

I'm not sure how she has expressed this displeasure, but "mad" can mean a wide range of things, some of which have nothing to do with anger and some of which have nothing even to do with YOU. Yes, it's true...I'm giving out female secrets...women can be "mad" or upset or ticked or quiet or bitchy or pissy and you could have done NOTHING WRONG. Sometimes it really is ALL IN OUR HEADS. (Sorry to let the cat out of the bag ladies...but he needs to know).

First off, a few things for you to think about...Why would you spend time with her if you didn't want the relationship to go any deeper then a friendship? Did you really think that was possible? If so, did you make this perfectly clear to her in the beginning? You want only a platonic friendship and nothing more. Did your actions back up your words?

Without knowing the details, here are few possibilities:

a) She may just simply be done hanging out with you. It could be as simple as that and you are reading too much into it. She got to know you and decided she didn't want to know any more. It's nobody's fault, just life. In this case, yeah you have to leave her alone.

b) She started developing deeper feelings for you, but knew that you didn't want to take it any further, so her feelings are hurt and she's withdrawing a bit. It sucks when someone you like, likes you less. You just have to be nice and realize that a friendship may not be possible any time soon if this is the case.

c) Something completely unrelated to you or your relationship is upsetting her, either home, work, church, or family. She could be stressing about something and not feel comfortable bringing it up with you. As I've said here before, women WORRY A LOT. They internalize every stress and every conflict and ponder it and evaluate it TO DEATH. So it may be very possible that she simply has other things on her mind.

Essentially, you need to talk to her and find out what the problem is, so you'll be able to decide your future actions. You need to find out if it does have to do with you and if there is anything you can do to fix it. Either you will have an opportunity to help her out and be a better friend, or you will have to leave her alone to get over you.

In the future, you just have to be sure that the women you hang out with know your expectations and you know theirs. Expectation is what leads to hurt hearts. Also, try not to start things that you know won't have a future. With this gal, 25 years old AND a co-worker...you already had two strikes against you.

Willow, 12 1/2
USA
Asks:

I need help. I really love this hot older boy down the street from me. I even got his mom to sign for my paper route so I could maybe meet him. I dress as skimpy as I can when delivering to his house, but he still hasn't noticed me. How do I get noticed? I have a hard time making the first move. I can't go on real dates yet but maybe next year. I'll do anything. Please help.

Lee's Thoughts:

Maybe he isn't noticing you BECAUSE you are dressing like a whore. WHY WHY WHY would you think that trying to get yourself noticed by baring skin is the best way to get attention??? You are probably making yourself look even younger then you are by doing that.

Why not try to attract him with you witty sense of humor? Why not find out what he is interested in and (GASP) TALK to the boy? I know its scary, but that is the most positive and productive way to get to know him and to get him to notice you.

If he notices you for your lovely perky boobs, or for the way your butt hangs out of your short-shorts, he is going to be focused on one thing, and that will not be getting to know your MIND better, it will be getting to know your BODY better (NOT a cool right now).

You have a year before you can start dating and that is a very good thing. That will give you time to develop an aspect of your personality and/or interests that you will be even more proud to put on display then your body. What are YOU interested in? Is he interested in the same things? What do YOU like to do with your spare time? Does he like to do those same things?

This may not be the answer you wanted to hear, but you need to take this time to develop your own character and to begin to be the person/woman that you want to be. This way, you will know yourself fully and be able to present yourself (along with all that inspires you and makes you happy) to another person and find out what inspires THEM and makes THEM happy.

Treat him like a human being. Don't be afraid. You have nothing to lose. Be sweet. Talk to him about things that interest you and see if he responds. Use your BRAIN, not your bod. I promise it will yield better results.

James, 14
Maryland
Asks:

I am in a sort of rut when it comes to getting another girlfriend. I have had one in the past. For 4 years I went out with her, but the thing is I never asked her out, or even for that matter, I didn't even break up with her. We were a lot younger, so it was easier to hook up with her. I found out that she had a crush on me and one of her friends asked if I would like to go out with her. I said yes. When we broke up, a friend of her's asked if I loved her anymore. I said no. So as you can see I didn't get the social skills to asking a girl out and breaking up on my own.

So here's my question: How the heck do I ask a girl out, the right way? I have gotten so close, but I couldn't gather the confidence, I am pretty shy. I am asking you because you are a female, you know how a guy should ask a girl out. So please better my situation by telling me what kind of signs a girl gives if she likes you or any other helpful info on relationships. Thank you very much for your service, it is a very helpful site.

Lee's Thoughts:

Well, you already know that *flattery will get you everywhere*, so that is a very good start. Compliments are a great way to tell a girl you like her AND a great way to find out if she likes you. "Did you get a haircut? It looks great!" "I love your shirt." "Those shoes are rockin." or...you can go a little more intimate..."I love your smile." "It's so great to see you." "You were out yesterday...I missed you." All said in a playful way will be subtle sweet compliments without the pressure of an intense moment.

We've all been through those "relationships" that were essentially set up and monitored by every one of his friends and every one of her friends, but in the end had nothing really to do with FEELINGS. It's called grade school. It's a difficult transition from that to actual adult conversations, but mostly...it just takes guts. Once you do it (speak to a girl face to face and actually exhibit some interest) you'll be that much closer to maturity.

First, you want to ask out a girl that you are comfortable with already...a girl that you can see hanging out with AS A BUDDY. Don't ask out the prettiest girl in the class just because she's the prettiest. Ask out a girl who makes you laugh, who gets your jokes, whose life story you want to hear, and who you want to tell yours. That will make the big question much easier. These are also the most basic foundations for a LARGER, more intense relationship, so this is another very good start.

When you find the girl and you're ready to ask...again, keep it simple. Say that you and your friend(s) are going to see Snakes on a Plane this weekend at suchandsuch theater and you'd love it if she would meet you there. That way, there's no pressure on her to show up and no problem if she doesn't (But a great way to see if she's interested). See if she is going to the high school football game and ask her if she would like to get a burger and coke with you beforehand. Football games are great because you will be there *together* without the stress of keeping up a enticing conversation.

Knowing exactly what you will ask her before you approach will calm you down and give you focus. Having to come up with something witty on the spot is nervewracking. You can even rehearse it a few times before you see her. "Hi Kelly. What are you up to this weekend? Would you be interested in seeing the new M.Night Shamalan movie with me (or...a few of us) on Saturday?" The hardest part is simply getting the words out of your mouth. What is the worst that can happen? She'll call you a big dumb idiot and never talk to you again. If she does that, you're MUCH better off without her.

Don't stress. You can do it. If you don't, you'll never go on a date, so its pretty much all in your hands. GOOD LUCK!!!

Dinah, 49
Hawaii
Asks:

(Please note...the following question is unedited)

Hi ther,I have a very confused kinds of abusive relationshipLived at his apartnebt for 3/ 1/2 years and he sedom takes me out when i get mone3y he wants to spend and on sports cards.when we argue he screamed so loud calling me slut when I'm home all the neioghbors can here.I'm on my firsy birthday we spent together I treated him out and dig this screamin cussina me out in public then this is my second birthday he told me go and get mt own fn food.I even got him a partial new w.It'dfristration and lonely and illright back again Thamk, Psss he doesnt seem like to listen he's always right to know he needs to new to be always be right all thethanks dinah

Lee's Thoughts:

Dinah...You write like a retarded four-year old.

From what I could de-code from your horrible grammar and ridiculous misspelling, this guy sucks and you should move out as fast as you can and run away from this miserable life TO-DAY.

Essentially...

WAKE-THE-F#*K-UP!!!!

Have some respect for yourself. Take some care with the words you put out into the universe (and the internet, your journal, your job, etc.) and take back control of your life. Your life is half over. What do you want the rest of it to be like???

Chelsea, 14
Maryland
Asks:

I used to go out with this really great guy. But then he didn't want a girlfriend so I totally understood and we stayed friends. At my school we had an end of the year dance thingy and we went together as a date. We get there and we are having a great time. We were acting like a couple and then he tells me he doesn't "like" me like that. I cried my eyes out. Now we have to go to the same high school and we will be seeing a lot of each other. So what do I do? I still have strong feelings for him. Please Help.

Lee's Thoughts:

Get over it. Be cool.

He told you he didn't want a girlfriend. He also told you he didn't like you like that. What else are you going to do? Crawl into a hole for the next four years? Just forget about it. If he's in your classes, treat him like a buddy and don't talk to all of your girlfriends about how MUCH YOU REALLY REALLY LOVE HIM, because there's no point.

The best thing you can hope for is to be his friend (if you can handle that). Breathe deep and look around for someone else to focus your romantic attentions on. By the time school starts, you'll both have forgotten everything and will be moved on to bigger and better dramas.

Alex, 15
San Diego
Asks:

I'll bet my problem's pretty common, but I didn't see it anywhere on here so I'll ask. I've been interested in a lot of girls that I'm friends with, but they tend to not feel the same.

It's not that I'm ugly or boring--hell, I'm not a bad looking guy, and I can leave people in stitches a lot of times--but they always want some unattainable dream guy who's perfect in every way. Or they say that they want to be with someone who treats them right, but always end up going with the guy who takes her for granted and pretends to like her just to get into her pants.

My question is simple: What is it that girls want? Should I change myself completely just for a relationship that I know is probably going to be meaningless?

Lee's Thoughts:

If you are as good looking and funny as you say you are (and I'd guess a little bit romantic and passionate), then for GAWD SAKE don't you go CHANGIN! You like yourself. Why would you mess with that for some chic?

You're in a tough situation and its called the TEEN YEARS. As much as some will deny it and as much as it sounds crappy...the teen years are superficial (relationship-wise). You and all of your friends are just concentrating on making it through high school to college (hopefully), trying not to piss off your parents too much, trying to make decent grades, make a few friends, have some fun without getting into too much trouble, and impress everyone without LOOKING like you are trying to impress everyone.

On top of all that, THIS is when girls and boys begin to get interested in the opposite sex, but usually in these stumbling attempts, things get complicated, communication is muddled, hormones are raging, there's the great debate between right and wrong and THEN, there are the decisions to be made about sex (will you? won't you? when? who? where? how?).

All of this just makes this time about essential human development.

There is no room for deep, meaningful, lasting relationships. That's why it such a wonder when people end up marrying (and staying with) their high school sweetheart. It's a gigantic journey from high school to adulthood, even though it feels like you are on right on the threshold.

I know you have these urges to be close to a girl (one, some, many). I'm not necessarily talking about sex, but its an evolutionary drive to hold her hand, to smell her perfume, to be sweet to her and have her look at you with those adoring eyes. You want someone who will look for you in a crowd, someone you can buy flowers for, who will laugh at your jokes and tell her friends what a great guy you are. CompLETEly natural.

However, unfortunately for you, the girls you are interested in are also going through all of the above. They have no idea WHAT they want. They are dealing with the TEEN YEARS too, and they think that what they need is a stud jock to make life perfect. Then, it turns out that the stud takes them for granted and gets in their pants. Its all because they just CAN'T SEE right now. They are young and stupid. Hopefully they will learn before they get too abused and possibly knocked up. But, as for you, you simply can't lower yourself to their level.

You can't change what a great guy you are just because they are being stupid. That would be....stupid. Now, and always, you need to keep your standards HIGH. You have to EXPECT girls you date to be smart about their bodies, their minds, and the people they hang out with. You need to be with girls who expect the same from you. How could you be with a girl who let a guy treat her like shit? You need someone who has respect for herSELF first and foremost. That is the only way you'll have a strong foundation for a relationship.

All of this to say that you may simply be too mature for the girls you described right now. If they are looking for perfection, they are seriously deluded. It doesn't exist. Its a fantasy sold by TV shows and movies and it takes maturity to realize that perfection is in the eye of the beholder. When you begin to have REAL feelings for someone, they BECOME perfect in your eyes. When you have superficial feelings for someone, all you see is their long legs and bulging muscles.

So, hold out Alex. The best is yet to come. Just know that you all have a LOT to deal with right now and if the girls aren't flocking to you, that's their problem and not yours. Continue to be sweet and funny. Do NOT compare yourself to other guys. BE COOL and be a good friend, and when the time is right, you'll be walking hand in hand with your dream girl and it will be...perfect.

Mauricio, 20
United States
Asks:

So I still haven't gotten my fiance to have a noticeable orgasm. I've been with several other women and I usually had no problem getting them to have 2-3 orgasms per each of my orgasms. I've even been with two girls who stated they could not have orgasms during intercourse, and I proved both wrong the first time we had intercourse.

I've tried every technique, position, method, etc I know and I have yet to give her that "eyes rolling back, toes curling" orgasm. In fact I'm not sure she's ever had one at all. She was a virgin before we had sex, but I have been with several virgins and this has never been a problem. I've been carefull not to ever say anything about this or about past relationships with her, so she wouldn't put any more pressure one herself. I figured as she got more comfortable with me and with sex she would be able to have orgasms, but it's been a year and I don't know if this will change.

She does enjoy sex and, in fact, initiates it almost half the time. However, I feel bad that I can't make her (the girl I love more than anything) have that eyes rolling back, toes curling orgasm. I also have to admit it's a little hit to my "machismo" and I feel a little selfish that we just have sex until I am done, when she doesn't "finish". Any thoughts? I've tried everything I could think of to stimulate the clitoris and she enjoys it, just doesn't orgasm. I've also tried every position I know to stimulate the g-spot (and can actually feel it when I stimulate it with my finger), but I can't give her a climax. Do some girls just never climax? Please help

Lee's Thoughts:

Mauricio, what a lovely, eloquent, and compassionate letter!! What a shitty situation!!

You are so sweet to care so much. You have one lucky girl. I'm sorry, but I don't have any magic fairy dust for you. You said you've tried EVERYTHING, so I assume you've spent some long and slow and lucious time down in her jade garden. That would be my main suggestion.

You are already sweet and generous. You know that she needs to feel safe and comfortable. You are WILLING to do what she needs, but can she not TELL you what she needs? What feels good, better, best? Has she ever masterbated herself to orgasm?

Maybe she should begin there. She needs to take control of her own orgasm, figure out what works, and then have a detailed discussion with you about it. This in not YOUR sole responsibility.

Are you sure that she's never had any sexual abuse and/or rape in her past? This could be a big reason why she cannot let herself be vulnerable enough to orgasm.

Aside from all of that, I would suggest that she speak to her doctor. I'm sure there are women out there who never climax, but usually there is a mental, emotional or physical reason why not, and therefore some sort of solution. Her OB/GYN may be able to help.

Good luck!!

Shauneka, 16
Michigan
Asks:

How can I tell if my ex-boyfriend is still in love with me?

Lee's Thoughts:

If he did, he wouldn't be your EX-boyfriend.

Amstrong, 26
United Kingdom
Asks:

I had been with a girl who is more than 11 years elder to me. Now she had dumped me due to my behavior to her. She said that I am too emotional, to attached, too fast, not understanding her freedom. Now she does not want to see me or talk or conduct me and said no to further meetings or conducts. She thinks I am too weak hearted. I do not know how to get her back, but she liked me a lot in the past. Can you advise me how to get her back?

Lee's Thoughts:

No, I can't. She doesn't want you and she's given you a long list of reasons why. Give it up, grow up, move on. Quit wasting your energy on a girl who does NOT want to be with you. You're only going to embarrass yourself.

Katie, 17
California
Asks:

Okay....so me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 7 months now but he's cheated on me 3 times already and this last time was with my " best friend. "

I love him to death but I just can't trust him anymore. I want to spend the rest of my life with him but I just don't know if I can do it. My WHOLE family hates him and my parents won't let me see him so to see him I have to sneak around and everything ( not fun )...

Do I stay with my boyfriend or do I end it?

Lee's Thoughts:

You should definitely definitely stay with him.

Marry him (with your "best friend" as your maid of honor of course) and have ten babies with him, IF you are completely aware of the fact that he will be having hookers on the side, will be an absent father, uninterested lover, and horrible partner. This marriage will be without trust and you'll be a struggling single parent who will have to support not only herself and her kids, but a deadbeat slacker husband as well.

Your parents don't know what they're talking about. You need to run away and elope with this guy immediately. He is perfectly charming.

(P.S. Be sure to look up the word "sarcasm" on www.dictionary.com)

Saz, 17
Florida
Asks:

Hi, there's this boy I know and I'm finding it really hard to tell if his feelings are genuine.

I met him five years ago when I was on holiday visiting my aunt and uncle. We kept in contact and he's moved here now. He rings me and texts me first. I never have to ring him. Since he can't pronounce words correctly he rings me up to ask how to say the word. He asked me to meet up with him and I said I would loads of times. But he moved here 5 months early and I still had my exams to revise for so I couldn't meet him. I've only met him once since march, but now that it's summer we're going to meet more frequently.

By the way, I just found out we're second cousins but we think of each other as mates because that's how we met. Would this be a problem if we did start dating? I mean my mum hasn't said anything when I say I'm going to meet him. Do you think he likes me?

Lee's Thoughts:

For anyone who doesn't know..."second cousins" means that you both have grandparents who are siblings. It's a little bit weird for me, but I'm sure it's *done* in some parts of the world, so I'm not judging...moving on...

I'm sure he wants to get to know you, but I think that's about it for now. You need to give him a chance to get to know you and thus, like you. Spend some time with him, return some of his calls, meet up...see what happens!! He's new in the area, so be his tour guide, show him around.

Have a great time!

Kara, 13
Oregon
Asks:

Ok so this guy likes me and I like him. But my really good friend has liked him since she met him. (5 years) We played truth or dare and he got dared to kiss her she was in heaven. When it was my turn to get dared he kept saying I don't care if it has to do with me. Well I really want to kiss him but I have known him way shorter than her. She said she would never talk to me if I kissed him. She has never been this way. She really likes him. I know guys aren't always gonna be there and your friends are but help!

Lee's Thoughts:

Kara, your friend is being unreasonable. However, at this time of life, girls LOVE DRAMA, so if you attempt anything with this guy, you will lose your friend and she will go on as the scorned friend from whom you stole her one true love. It will suck for you, even though you would have done nothing wrong.

You have every right to go after this guy, but I'd leave him alone if I were you. I promise this isn't going to be the love of your life, so there's no sense in ruining the friendship.

Hector, 42
Puerto Rico
Asks:

Hello!
There is this girl at work that is not a hottie, but definitely looks beautiful and nice to me. Lately, she has been a bit closer to me, like engaging me in conversation, more than once telling me "you look real nice today" or saying "lets go, Hector" "Where do we go, Hector?" A month ago, we got together at a restaurant after work. Since I was doing annual training at that time, I came up from the training site to attend. She asked if I was returning to the base and, when I commented that a customer and her daughter both called me at my mobile, she asked why did they have to call me.

A week later we ran into each other at the breakroom, and she asked if I had gone back to the base on the night of the get together, and if I got there fast. I was surprised, but managed to answer that yes, I went back to base. Then she tells me that she was wondering because she did not see me at all on the road!Some days later, it turned out we had to work together for a while, and I noticed that she had her hair done very nicely and, unconsciously,I reached out and touched her hair and said "Its very nice. I like it" and she blushed and giggled, and then asks "Do you like it?" "Really?"

Once she told me that she has never married, and I have heard that she's never been with a man. But I do not care a whit about that. I am 42, and she's 41. I have experience, and even had once a girlfriend that was virgin at 38 when I was 30. I really would like to ask her out, but my feelings betray me. Could it be that she'd like to get to know me better? That she actually likes me? I know you cannot read minds, but any help would be really appreciated.

Lee's Thoughts:

Hector, you are completely over-thinking this. YES SHE LIKES YOU. You need to trust your instincts a bit more. You sound like a very sweet and sensitive guy. Keep it up! Ask her out! HAVE FUN!!