Terika, 18 from Ohio asks:

My boyfriend and I have been going out for 6 mo. I love him to death. But when I want to hang out with my friends I take him with me because he wants to go and, I have told him when ever he wants to hang out with his friends just tell me and go. But, he thinks he has to lie to me about everything and he doesn't because, I really don't deserve it I haven't ever lied to him. Like, his dad drives a big truck and my boyfriend Shawn, helps him work on it. But, Shawn told me one day he was going to help his dad and after he got finished he would come to my house but he never did. And, the next day was my birthday party (big18) and he didn't show up. It hurt me so bad. And, I confronted him and he said he was sorry and he was hanging out with his friends. He said that he thought that it would hurt my feelings. But, it didn't until I found out that he was HIGH that whole time. I DO NOT do drugs and I don't want to be associated to them I don't know how to talk to him about this fight. I really need help. He causes fights between us all the times but never this bad. I feel like he feels obligated to lie to me. He does drugs be hind my back and also this guy he hangs out with is my ex-boyfriend's friend also. And, he kids, but he says I'm like adoorknob everyone’s had a turn. But, I was with my ex for almost 3 years and now my boyfriend for a half a year. Those are the only two people I have been with. And, it pains me that he hangs out with someone that makes me fell so bad.Please help!!!

Emilie’s Advice:

Oh, dear. Ok, WHY do you “love him to death”?? It doesn’t even appear you have anything in common! He lies, you don’t. He does drugs, you don’t. You value the relationship, he doesn’t. Terika, I don’t mean to be harsh, but I can’t find a single positive thing about your relationship with your boyfriend. Even if there is a ray of light in there somewhere, it’s obviously overshadowed by all the negative things. You need to find someone who shares your views and values. There’s nothing admirable about trying to stay with someone who is wrong for you in almost every way. You sound like a lovely young lady who deserves an equally nice young man to spend your time with. All you have to do is get rid of the loser you are currently attached to!

Amy, 22 from PA asks:

I got myself into a mess that I can't discuss with anyone I know. I got engaged to a 32 year old man about 8 moths ago and everything was going good, I got a church and a hall reserved for our wedding and made many other plans. Then he started having trouble making his mortgage and car payments with his current job so he decided to start his own business instead of working for someone else. It turned out that the business was not profitable at all. He hit rock bottom and he could lose his house if he does not turn things around soon! This put me in a panic because I don't know what to do now. I know that I love him with all of my heart but is it smart to marry a person who is in this much debt? I can't even look forward to our wedding with this horrible situation lingering over my head. Paying for the wedding is not a problem because his and my parents agreed to pay for it but what about the rest of our lives! I just want to know, what you would do if you were in my situation. Would you still marry him? What would you say to him??? PLEASE HELP

Emilie’s Advice:

Amy, although you are 10 years his junior, you are clearly more mature and responsible than this guy. The fact that you are obviously having doubts is a clear sign that this is not right. First of all, he is 10 years older than you are. You sound intelligent and nice, but the age difference is quite worrisome. Then there’s the main issue of the finances. Judging from his decision, when faced with not being able to make enough money at his current job, to try to start up a business tells me that he is COMPLETELY irresponsible with money and does not fully appreciate his responsibilities or the consequences of his actions.
And I realize that traditionally the bride’s parents pay for the wedding, but this guy has been on his own for well over 10 years now. The fact that he is comfortable with letting your parents pick up the tab is (to me anyway) a disturbing sign.
So what would I do in your situation? I would call off the engagement and stop seeing him. If he is truly the “one” for you, he will turn his life around. But I’ll tell you my honest opinion. I don’t think he can or will. I think you need to realize that although you may love him, you would be entering a world of constant stress, disappointment and frustration with him. The number one cause of divorce is money problems.
I like happy endings. But I don’t think your happy ending is with him.

Thank you for being patient while my computer completely crashed on me! Things are back up and running, so keep submitting your questions and look for new answers!

Emilie is having technical difficulties. For some reason, she's unable to login to her Blogger account to be able to update. Once we remedy that situation Emilie will return to answer your questions.

Krys, 22 from Canada asks:

My boyfriend is a nice guy but has a lot of baggage. A couple years ago his father left the family for another woman and now he and his mom live together. She babies him completely and cooks and cleans for him. He is so lazy and helps out with nothing. We have been together for a year and even though I know that he loves me he never expresses it to me. He never says anything nice to me and is always making jokes about my weight (even though I am not overweight at all) or my appearance. I told him it’s not nice and he says that I take it too personally because he is only kidding. It seems like I make a lot of effort to make him happy and accommodate him but he never wants to make the same effort. He thinks that there is no problem and that I am making a huge deal over nothing. All I want from him is a few nice words here and there and an I love you every once in a while. To show that he cars, why is this so hard for him???

Emilie’s Advice:

Maybe it’s hard for him because *brace yourself* he doesn’t love you. I know you say you know he does, but how do you know that? If he never says he loves you, never shows you that he loves you and makes you feel bad about yourself even after you’ve told him it hurts your feelings then what indication do you have? You go out of your way to make him happy and he does nothing in return. It sounds like he’s got a great thing going- at your expense. You do everything for him and he doesn’t have to do anything for you. You are letting him take advantage of you. You said he’s a nice guy, but he’s obviously not nice to YOU. So my advice is to break up with him. Let him “love” someone else. I can assure you that you’ll be much happier without him.

Jake, 14 from Texas asks:

I really like this girl at my school but I'm new and I don't know her. I wouldn't do anything but when I see her half of the times she either looks at me or is looking at me. I have asked my friends to introduce us but to be honest I would like to get to know her myself. I like her after sitting with her one time at lunch and she's really pretty and nice. How can I get her to want to talk to me and tips to help my chances of her liking me?

Emilie’s Advice:

Jake, you sound like a very sweet young lad! When I was 14 I liked a boy at school, but I was too shy to talk to him. I tried to let him know that I was interested by smiling at him and looking at him when he was around. I just *prayed* that he would come over and talk to me. Sound familiar? So how do you get her to want to talk to you? EASY! Walk over to her, smile and say, “Hi!” Chances are (based on the signals she’s already giving you) that she probably really wants to talk to you anyway. How do you get her to like you? You can’t force anyone to like you, but you can definitely increase your chances by being yourself (unless you are a total psycho, then you should try to be like someone else). Make her feel special. Don’t go overboard with flowers or anything cheesy, just tell her she looks nice, that her shirt brings out her eyes, etc…as long as it’s truthful and sincere. If she likes you, you’ll know it soon enough!Good luck!

Chelsey, 20 from Canada asks:

I have been living with my boyfriend for 4 years now. Now he says that I need time to deal with all the things I have on my plate and that I don’t need a boyfriend right now. I really love him and he can’t see that. What should I do??????

Emilie’s Advice:

You’ve been living with (not just dating) this guy since you were *16* years old. I honestly can’t think of any situation when this arrangement would be a good idea. And let’s break it down. When he says that “you don’t need a boyfriend right now”, he really means that HE doesn’t want a GIRLFRIEND right now.He is breaking up with you passive/aggressively. Pack your things and move back to home. You’ve spend the better part of your teen years with the same guy, but now it’s time to take time for yourself. Figure out who you are without a guy.

George, 16 from Texas asks:

Why are all girls so bitchy?

Emilie's Advice:

Well, most girls tend to get defensive when they are lumped in with every other woman and accused of being bitchy. Why are all guys such assholes? See? Doesn’t feel so great, does it?
If a girl is bitchy to you all the time then it usually means she doesn’t like you very much. No need to waste time on someone who is doesn’t care about your feelings.
There are plenty of perfectly nice girls who have an occasional bout of bitchiness and that’s totally normal. Just like most guys will act like an asshole once in a while. Take it in stride and realize that everyone is entitled to a bad day.

Nikki, 26 from Sacramento, CA asks:

I had sex with my ex-boyfriends friend. He found out and got upset because it was his friend. We still love each other, how do I get him back?

Emilie’s Advice:

Stop having sex with his friends.

P.S. I doubt you still love each other. For obvious reasons.

Bored, 12 from Virginia asks:

I am a little bored with just liking someone, and want to go out. But, my parents only let me go out in groups, and with people that my parents know, and their parents. I have no idea what to do. PLEASE HELP!!!

Emilie’s Advice:

I’m sure this isn’t what you want to hear, but I agree with your parents. They’re not telling you that you can’t like anyone or that you can’t leave your house. You can like someone and still be with them in a group. Group “dating” is a great way to spend time with that special someone, but not have to feel awkward about being alone with them. And if you like someone, invite them over so your parents can meet them.
Once you are able to get places without your parents, then it will be more appropriate to spend time alone with someone you want to date. But until then, follow your parent’s rules. This is VERY important, because if you can show them now that you are trustworthy, they will have more confidence and trust in you when you are older. This means that you will be able to do more of the things you want to do. I know it’s hard, but you’ll be 16 in no time flat!

An example of what makes me cringe:

hi...me and this 1 gal wer guuud frenz and 4 fun v started flirtin...after2 months now i hav bcome crazy bout her...i know she liks me lot but she isstill not over her ex gy..i told her how i feel...but she's lik she does notknow how long she'll tak 2 get over him... wat do i do..she waz wit dis gi fer longs an wer are frens??


If you can't use spell check, type in complete sentences or at least make sense, then don't bother. If it takes me more than 2 minutes to decipher what you're even asking, chances are pretty slim that I'll take the time to answer it.