ARGville

Maize, 37, in Georgia: 13 years ago I had a friend who I shared a lot of time with, we worked & played together, we waited for each other to get off work & stayed up all night, when not working we also shared time together, he felt like my boyfriend that I was not sleeping with. I waffled, I loved him but often thought of him as a brother or did not want to risk the friendship, him? I don’t know, his friends told me he was in love with me. We touched, hugged, spooned on the couch but … Continue Reading

Sandy, in Cali: haha…me again…

Guy #1— Well I asked the guy out last week Thursday, he said “yes we should hang out soon”. But, he never provided a date. So basically I blew a gasket yesterday and told him I will not be in contact with him anymore. And he stated my message was out of line and he’ll survive. Now I’m off to the next guy…lol…I can’t believe I wasted my time on a jerk like that.

Guy #2— I went out on a date with the 2nd guy (different one) Saturday night. It went well, but the interesting part … Continue Reading

Patricia, in Illinois: Hey Victor…I’ve already sent you my question…just reading your profile and wanted to say I’ll be happy to take advice from anyone with such great taste in music :)  Tom Waits?? Sweet! You rock :)

VictorM: Tom Waits is great. Saw him in person at the Beacon Theater in NYC a few years ago… what a great show!

So it goes without saying: you rock too! :)

Alex, 16, in Massachusetts: Okay so my friend, Karen set me up on a date with this guy and he was really sweet. We have been texting and he told Karen that he really likes me. I have only known him for a week. He keeps saying how pretty I am and how I am perfect for him and I don’t really know how I feel about him yet. I would like to hang out more but I feel like I need to get to know him more as friends first. He also keeps bugging me about him meeting me … Continue Reading

Maria, 32, in New York: So I’ve been reading a lot of books lately on men/women and how to get a man to “chase” you and commitment, etc. I’ve noticed a pattern with a lot of these books and that is this; that a man can certainly care for, or even be in love with a woman he’s with but have no intentions of ever marrying her. Also I’ve noticed that quite a lot of these books are stating that if he hasn’t mentioned marriage or moving in together after a year or two at the most, then the woman … Continue Reading

confused, 23, in Los Angeles: I’ve been dating this guy for months and at first i thought it will be just a rebound. My ex really hurt me and i would always bring him up and i would tell him i didn’t want our relationship to be it. (which it wasn’t) He seemed really interested and i will spend time with him almost twice a week. He owns a bar so i would always be there around his friends and people. But it was never a real date so i got tired of no compromises. He said he was busy … Continue Reading

Hi Victor Can you post the information that you mentioned Last week about shyness? Have been looking forward to reading it. I really like this site. :)

Thanks

VictorM: Consider it done. Look up at the tab that says “Shyness”

I hope it helps. Let me know if you have any comments.

Kitty, 17, in Maryland: Hey Victor,
I don’t know how I even manage to ask all these questions, but I love the answers you give! Well, totally new guy right now. Tommy’s friend talked to him about me, he really just doesn’t like me like that, so I’m starting over with a whole new person. I’m gonna call them Coco (the name of my dog, I’m spicing it up a bit;). He’s one of those guys that a lot of people like. He could have gone out with any girl he wanted pretty much, but he’s only gone out with the … Continue Reading

marika, 24, in san francisco: I dated this guy from work for about a month in january. things didn’t really work out and he got busy with school. I’ve stopped contacting him altogether and I barely see him at work. But in the few times we do see each other he still has to be a jerk. What do i do?

VictorM: Thank your lucky stars that you’re not dating him anymore. He’s a jerk, why should he act any different?

Rather than letting him get to you, just snicker inside at how lucky you are that he’s not in the picture, … Continue Reading

Wolffy, 17, in Orlando, FL: Hello Mr. V,

Long time so type ^_^. This is about my last boyfriend who won’t stay hidden. I haven’t talked to him since the beginning of March when he called me saying he miss me. I sorta still had feelings for him at that time and he knew this and he kept them. He would text me in the mornings and it would be normal, but it was like he didn’t want to express his feelings; he would talk as if we were normal friends which we werent and he just disappeared and I moved … Continue Reading

Shevon, 31, in United Kingdom: I’ve been living with my boyfriend for 10 years and we have two kids. He recently had to go abroad to do a driving job and i later discovered he had condoms in his wallet when he came back. I trust him but now that i’ve found them i don’t know what to think. If i confront him he’s gonna think i think he’s been messing about?

VictorM: You don’t have to confront him; you can just politely ask him to explain. Maybe there really is a good explanation (and if there is, can you let … Continue Reading

Jenny, 20, in Norwalk, Ca: I was dating this guy for about a year and a half and we broke up months ago. We just stopped talking to each other. I receive a text message from him a few days ago (after not speaking to each other since December). He tells me he misses me. Now he has a girlfriend…so why is he telling me this when he’s got someone??  He starts asking me if I’ve had any sexual encounters with someone else since we’ve been apart and i say yes. He wants to know all the details; which i … Continue Reading

Tammy, 22, in New York: So apparently guys don’t like talking about emotions and issues and stuff. There is a guy “friend” who keeps asking me to talk to him about some issues I am going through with my family right now. I didn’t tell him anything, but he kind of heard the tail-end of a conversation I was having with a co-worker about it before I realized he entered the room. He’s also noticed that I’ve been kind of down lately and not as talkative as I used to be with him. It’s kind of weirding me out because … Continue Reading

Jannie, 18, in Boston: I was set up to go on this date with a guy. We went to a small concert and after the concert and on the way to the concert we talked a lot and we clicked. There was no awkwardness and it was perfect. The guy asked for my number and texted me saying  that he was looking forward to seeing me soon. I texted back and basically said the same thing and he never replied and it’s been 5 days. Why did he ask for my number if he’s not interested???

VictorM: Asking for the girl’s … Continue Reading

rach, 15, in NY: ok so there is this guy i like and he is in 11th grade i never liked him before until i got my new schedule and now we have 9th period together everyday and i really never talked to him. i just said something to him the first time today and that was because he asked where did this rubber wheel go since we take jewelry and i told him were i though it was. i just don’t know if i should bother to even try to talk to him. is it better off that i … Continue Reading

One of my friends informed me that my bf of about a year said “she’s going to be staying with me to offset costs” when he told her about us deciding to start living together. i mean, i knew he was having some financial trouble but i didn’t think that was the only reason he agreed to this. is this a bad sign?

VictorM: Doesn’t sound from what you wrote that he said it was the only reason.

This is one of the many differences between girls and girls; while you are focusing of the emotional aspect of moving together, as a … Continue Reading

Kelley, 31, in Seattle, WA: I met a guy online. We began emailing, then texting and talking basically every day for 6 weeks. We’ve gone out 4 times and the last time we went out he text me later and said he had a great time and “more to come”. We’ve only kissed, hugged, held hands….so, no sex yet. We seem to get along great and laugh all the time. We’re both busy professionals, but seem to find time for each other. Suddenly, 5 days ago I stopped hearing from him. Although it was unusual, I figured he was busy … Continue Reading

Paige, 19, in FL. USA: What is your opinion about having sex with your partner while she is on her period?

VictorM: It’s a very individual type thing. Most guys are turned off by the idea, but many are fine with it.

I think it’s something that should be discussed between the two partners.

nikki, 21, in uk: i was sexually abused by someone that everyone considers family, but when i met my boyfriend 4 years ago i didn’t want to tell him because at the time i didn’t see it as sexual abuse and was very ashamed. i told him 1 and a half years ago as i was feeling guilty and believed our relationship was strong enough to get through it. i don’t think he’s forgiven me and blames me for everything, i would love another child with him and get married, but now he says he doesn’t want those things anymore. … Continue Reading

tina, 21, in new york: This guy acts interested sometimes, but then I ran into him at the bar and he dropped into conversation that his friend thought I was hot and hadn’t stopped talking about me and that he was a nice guy. Does this mean he’s NOT interested?

VictorM: If you’re hot, just about any guy could act “interested sometimes”; it doesn’t mean they want anything more than to look at you and enjoy your company.

I’d bet on him not being interested.