it breaks my heart to read this
Evette, 29, in Los Angeles: I need some clarification again…
I know that you told me before that guys conversing with people on social networking sites is “silly fantasy stuff” that people engage in to alleviate boredom, but I am feeling a bit hurt and need to know if I am overreacting to this situation.
My boyfriend was messaging a girl he doesn’t know on MySpace. Here is another B=Boy and G=girl conversation.
G: Thanks for the add XOXOXO
B: Nice to meet ya.
G: Awwww nice to meet you too babe. How was your weekend?
B: not bad u?
G: (she was talking about her injured knee)
B: I’m Sorry that blows…
G: You are telling me:) Keep me entertained babe.
B: Haha now how am I supposed to do that? Lol
G: I don’t know…text me (phone#)
B: I would but I am with someone and she wouldn’t be too stoked…sorry
That is all so far. I am not on that site but my friend told me about it. I have trusted him, but it breaks my heart to read this. I just ask because I don’t think he would like it if he saw me conversing with someone I didn’t know, I think he would be upset. I am ready to end it because I am not one to stay with someone that is entertaining another girl..but if you think it isn’t a big deal, then I can go back to feeling good because things have been awesome. The only thing is this kind of stopped me in my tracks.
I would really really appreciate your thoughts.
Thank You!
VictorM: I’d say it’s not a big deal at all. I think he handled it just as well as any guy should, given that being on these social networks you’re going to run into girls such as her. It’s clear that the moment she tried to get the conversation beyond chatting that he nipped it. So I’m actually a bit puzzled as to why you’d be hurt.
I noticed that he said “I would but…” but frankly, I think that’s just a polite way of handling it. I really don’t see anything wrong with the conversation itself.
I personally wonder why someone is adding strangers (I’m sure, only beautiful ones of the opposite sex) to their list of friends rather than engaging their own real friends and family, but maybe that’s a generational thing, I don’t know. I know there is something gratifying for the male ego to get the attention of attractive females, and more often than not, we’re please with just the attention, which could explain why he does it.
Still, I’d love to hear from you what it is about this that breaks your heart to read the conversation, because frankly, it seems like an overreaction. Still, you must have your own reasons.
Evette said:
Jul 01, 10 at 10:36 pm*Whew*…Thank you…
Okay, so I think the reason why I was crushed is because I wouldn’t do this. Out of respect for him, I would ignore those types of people and try to steer clear of any sort of drama. However, I am not a user of that site and so, I am not too familiar with the way they work and what the so-called “rules” are. That is why I asked you:) My friends added gasoline to the small flame that was burning in my mind and so I started to question his behavior. Basically they said that he didn’t NEED to respond. However, your response is what I am going to stick to because I don’t think this is necessarily something so drastic that I would lose trust in him. I trust that he didn’t text her and trust that he is happy with me. I know he could have ignored her, but I wanted to believe that he just didn’t want to be a jerk. I remember you mentioned in another response to someone that guys don’t like to burn bridges. Considering he is in an active band, he probably is trying to build a network of fans…etc. This is the way I looked at it…(for a little while at least…lol)
I know I overreacted when I said ‘breaks my heart”, but I guess because that was my initial reaction until now…now, with your confirmation, I can really see through his eyes. It doesn’t bother me anymore that he responded…but maybe a little bothered that I can’t boost his ego enough. But then again, what guy will ever be satisfied with ONLY his girlfriend boosting his ego? hahaha. I am sure it gets old after a while. Am I wrong?
sanantonerose said:
Jul 02, 10 at 2:44 amYou’re simply feeling the quick hot knife of jealousy slashing into your ego. Girls have one, too! Look, these things happen in the heat of a moment and he backed off. That’s all you need to know. Don’t ever say you’ll “never” do something. We’re all human, cut him some damn slack. Oh, and tell your shit-stirring friends to shut the fuck up. People love drama and look for any opportunity to create some.
Evette said:
Jul 02, 10 at 9:55 amHaha, yeah you are right…Never say never…
Thanks sanantonrose!:) I usually do “cut him some slack”…i would say more than my friends would I guess…Like I said before, I don’t understand the reasonings for social networking sites.
I guess I am “old school”. I just need to adjust a little and realize this type of outlet is nothing to worry over. I guess just hearing my friends talk about the drama they have with those sites really created a scene in my mind that was upsetting. But I am completely over it and know I will not make a big deal about this shit anymore LOL.
Sophia said:
Jul 02, 10 at 10:06 pmI love your comment Sanantonerose! It’s classic.