ARGville

Ella, 23, in Ohio: Hi! Thanks so much for your advice, it’s really helpful and I love your site.

I’m 23 and am still a complete virgin. I’ve never had a boyfriend, never been kissed and never missed it, either! I made a commitment to not date until I was mentally and physically prepared for the relationship to lead into marriage, and I made another commitment that I would be a virgin on my wedding night and that my first kiss would be at the altar. Extreme to most people, but it’s what I want!

My best friend in the entire world … Continue Reading

Question: I don’t know if this is a silly question…
If a guy is seeing a girl for a while, say 2 months, maybe a bit longer, and the two have been sexually… sexual… and then they wind up accidentally having a threesome with another girl, will the guy lose interest in the girl that he was seeing because she allowed this kind of activity too soon? I mean, is that too soon?

VictorM: Please write back and tell me how anyone can ACCIDENTALLY have a threesome because I’ve been looking all my adult life for that accident to happen, and it … Continue Reading

Sarah, 31, in NC: I just recently went out on a date with a guy that had been in our circle of friends for about a month.  This was our first time out just the two of us.  I broke my rule of sleeping with someone on the first date.  Since we are in a circle of friends, we are all going out again on Saturday.  He texted me the night after the date to tell me again how much fun he had, but he hasn’t called.  Do you think that he will not take me seriously now that I … Continue Reading

Christina D, 23, in Albuquerque: My boyfriend and I only have sex about once or twice a week. We live together. When we do have sex, he “blows his load” after only about five minutes. I feel frustrated about this, and have tried talking to him about it, but he says he doesn’t have a very high sex drive. When we first started going out, we would have sex every time we saw each other. Then, after about three or four months, even when we didn’t live together, the sex just stopped happening. I have been told that I am … Continue Reading

emily, 35, in toronto canada: I am writing to many advice columns to get help with a reoccurring problem in my relationship. I am married to a wonderful man with a good heart and who is a wonderful father. The problem is my husband is very boring, doesn’t communicate, and is not affectionate at all. Now before you go saying you should count your lucky stars remember that I said I was married to a wonderful man. I am just a person that believes the more you want out of life the more you get.

We have tried couples counseling, individual … Continue Reading

Charmaine B, 33, in South Africa: I met a man 3 months ago on Facebook and after chatting there for a few weeks, we decided to stay in touch on Skype. We Skyped each other practically every day and often chatted for hours and hours… we just couldn’t get enough of each other. After 6 weeks of Skyping on a regular basis, we decided to meet for coffee.
The date was Friday night last week and we really enjoyed each other’s company. We kissed and the chemistry was electrifying!!

I would prefer to remain celibate until we’re in a relationship, rather than … Continue Reading

Snowbunny, 23, in Queens: If a guy says that he doesn’t want to make it more than what it is because he feels like things could get messed  up what does he mean by that? And is it normal for a guy to turn down sex with you if he had set it up to see you later in the day but then calls you as if he’s tired and changes his mind, I guess the question is can a guy ever really be too tired for sex?

VictorM: “Can a guy ever really be too tired for sex?” Sure.  There … Continue Reading

stacia, 29, in Houston: Being African, sexuality is something that women are meant to be ashamed of and it’s not really part of the vocabulary.  So, I’m rarely attracted sexually, probably because I haven’t really discovered it due to a lifelong habit of repressing or even shunning anything sexual.  I tell you this because I’ve thought of ways to solve my problem and I can’t come out with subtle solutions (I rarely date and have only had one boyfriend who I wasn’t really attracted to).  Here’s my question.  There is a guy I am interested in.  He is more of … Continue Reading

Lilly, 30, in NJ: My husband and I had a great sex life before and shortly after the wedding (2 yrs ago).  One night while walking my dog I noticed though the basement window that my husband was masterbating in the basement.  UMMM..OK..whatever..I know all guys do that and I can’t say I never did. Over the past year I’d say he wants sex from me less and less.  He goes into the basement all the time and I know what he’s doing and I sit upstairs alone and watch TV.  I offer him sex and rub up on him, … Continue Reading

Jennifer, 45, in California: When texting my lover last night things were getting really hot.  He commented that I take his cock so well (he’s very large) and I asked ‘best sex ever?’. His response was ‘the top 2.’. This REALLY upset me.  I probably should never have asked the question but I didn’t expect that response. Now I can’t stop thinking about it and wonder who this better lover is, what made her better and why he’s with me instead of her!

VictorM: Wow, this guy lends credence to the adage: large cock, small brain. What an idiotic thing to … Continue Reading

stephanie, 25, in ft.sam houston: I am a 25 year old black female.  I have one daughter who is 3.  I have no contact with my baby’s dad because he had been abusive and we broke up almost 7 months before my she was born.  It took me three years to gain the courage to date again and move on.  I joined the army to support her and myself.  Just recently, I met a Mexican guy who claims he is getting a divorce from his wife.   I know that it is wrong to date married men and he has assured … Continue Reading

NeverKnowWhat2Say, 50, in Canada: hi, you seem to give out good advice. i don’t know your age, but you seem to know a lot. My question is… could you give me several examples of what ‘dirty talk’ a man wants to hear, during sex?

VictorM: I’m so old that when a woman promises to make me a Sloppy Joes right after, that’s as dirty as it gets.

Seriously, this is a very individual thing; it changes from man to man. You need to experiment with whatever guy you’re with. The only thing I can tell you with much certainty is that a … Continue Reading

keshia, 24, in new york: k i just spent some time with a friend of mine that i used to talk to a couple of years back we just recently seen each other and we reconnected he had told me the main reason he had stopped messing around with me is because he thought i was only using him for sex because basically when i would go over his house we would talk for a few and get straight to the point so he said that was the main reason he stopped messing with me lol yea amusing when it’s … Continue Reading

Moi-XOXO, 34, in Canada: Please explain this to me. I am pretty analytical but have a hard time with this one. lol

There have been a few times over 2.5 yrs that my bf & I have had pretty heavy duty fights.  Like where he’s been clearly out of line and I am freaking. Anyway, we’ve had other regular disagreements but it’s not during those times; only during the huge fights (and there’s been 3-4) where all of a sudden he’s extremely horny and mentions how he just wants to f*** me, like that second.  And I’m in the middle of … Continue Reading

Kate, 19: Victoooor, I have such a nice, sweet & loving boyfriend, we argue sometimes but besides that everything is perfect between us. I trust him but I can’t let go of his past, it bothers me the amount of girls he fucked, even if it wasn’t a lot. What can I do to make it easier for me, I don’t want that to bother me, but I’m really jealous.

Thanks!

VictorM: I don’t know if I can help you since I can’t replace your girly brain with a more logical one (now, now, no need to hurt me, I’m just kidding).

See, … Continue Reading

Anonymous, 33, in US: I chose anonymous because this situation is a little embarrassing for me. With that being said, I have sought your advice before and find you to be very knowledgeable and I appreciate all of your advice, so thanks in advance.  My boyfriend is an awesome person. He’s very affectionate and loving. I love giving and receiving hugs and being held. He tells me he loves me ALL the time and I know he does. I can just feel it. He’s very considerate and well he literally does everything right…….outside of the bedroom.  In the bedroom, however, … Continue Reading

Jasmine, 26, in South Australia: Hey Victor, I hope you can offer me some advice. I’m sorry for the long post.

I met my now BF online last year. At the same time I met another guy online who I was interested in as well. My BF, let’s call him Ethan, and I went out 3 times before I decided I also wanted to meet the other guy. All I did with Ethan at that point was kiss him, and only a few pecks at the most. So I met up with this other guy and fell for him straight away. … Continue Reading

Alex, 38, in USA: I recently got back in touch with a guy I dated 8 years ago. I had found his address while cleaning out an old chest. I sent him a letter saying Hi and let him know I had thought about him over the years. He e-mailed me and we have been corresponding now via e-mail for about 2 weeks. He did inform me early on that he is, and I quote “Regrettably married” and that if I didn’t want to continue corresponding he would understand. I have continued a dialogue with him because I always liked … Continue Reading

thollands, 17, in fla: okay, so my ex and i split recently. we dated for a little over two years, and we have a six month old daughter together. we split because after my daughter was born, he lacked affection. he wouldn’t kiss me, hold me, rub my back, i mean, it got so bad that he wouldn’t hold my hand in public anymore. at age seventeen, i crave these things. so we split, because he changed, not just his amount of affection, but also his attitude. so, lately, i’d felt a lot of sexual tension between myself and his … Continue Reading

Paige, 19, in FL. USA: What is your opinion about having sex with your partner while she is on her period?

VictorM: It’s a very individual type thing. Most guys are turned off by the idea, but many are fine with it.

I think it’s something that should be discussed between the two partners.