ARGville

Haley, 16, in Connecticut: I have a sort of FWB thing going on with this guy. We’re both clear with the fact that it’s not going any further. Still, if he doesn’t contact me at all in a whole week, it’s not needy and annoying if I try to contact and make plans with him, right? How does it make me look if I’m the one who calls him?

VictorM: He’s expecting you to be the one to call him.  So if you want to spend time with him, call him.

Toni, 22 in Florida: Hello, I’ve been sleeping with the same guy for about 4 months now with several week periods of us not seeing each other from one time to the next (due to the fact that I moved back home from school). I’ve been questioning whether he actually liked me or not for a while now, but I also started to not care recently. We saw each other and he was instantly all over me/flirting a lot. We slept together, but I wouldn’t do anything but kiss him. After that, I talked to him online and … Continue Reading

Ann, 20, in California: About 10 months ago I had a threesome with a guy, Fred, who I’d been FWB for, for about 6 months, and his roommate and one of his closes friends, George. After the threesome Fred realized how much he cared about me and we started going out. We’ve been together since then and we really care about each other. Also, in the past 6 months George got together with an ex and they’ve been in a long distance relationship.However, I’ve realized ever since the threesome that I have a very strong sexual attraction to George. Since … Continue Reading

Jill, 23, in Chicago: So a former coworker of mine recently told me that he only wanted me physically so he suggested being friends with benefits.  I don’t have a problem with being fwbs….we would both be getting what we want.  We had determined when our first time would be and well he didn’t show up or respond to my text messages when he was a no show.  Last I knew he was still a virgin but since he suggested being fwbs I was thinking he no longer was but then why didn’t he follow through and come over to … Continue Reading

grace, 37: hey victor… how long do you think it is appropriate to wait for sex? I only ask because I am in my sexual peak and I usually have long dry spells between relationships… I think that maybe I get physical sooner (usually between 3 to  10 dates)  because I basically going through the same things that 17 year old boys go through! I think that has a lot to do with why my relationships don’t last that long lately or I pick the wrong people… but by the time I connect with someone, i typically will have gone … Continue Reading

leslie, 23, in los angeles: i recently slept with a guy friend. right before we were about to have sex for the first time he stopped me and told me he didn’t want to have sex with me because he wanted to be in a relationship and take things slow. we ended up having sex anyways that night, the next night and then like a week later. i called him 2 days ago and left him a message that i just wanted to see him and talk to him for a little bit and he has not responded in any … Continue Reading

Naomi, 20, in North London: Long term sex buddy – I’ve been seeing this guy for a year, we had ‘the talk’ and he said he doesn’t want a girlfriend and I understand that. But I just want to know if he has feelings for me. As far as I know, this sexual relationship was  monogamous. I have asked him about how he feels about me, but he always gives me really ambiguous answers, and he knew I like more him than he does.

Lately, he has been kissing me a lot even after sex, and calls me a lot of … Continue Reading

Bre, 18, in cali: so I have this friend that I like a lot and we hang out a lot…I guess you could say we are friends with benefits since we always make out when we’re together. it seems like he likes me back to, but I got invited to a singles party and wasn’t sure if I should go or not so I asked him what we are and said I got invited to this party and he said he honestly didn’t know…did I scare him off? What should I do now??

VictorM: Did you scare him off what? I … Continue Reading

frustrated and confused, 20, in US: Okay so I need a little advice on what is actually going on in this man’s head. I am 20 and the guy I am sleeping with is 27. I met this guy last fall. He is a relative’s best friend and we first hooked up in may. After a few days he asked me to be his girl (maybe i kind of pushed him into it). I was living in a different state so once he went home, we agreed to text and call each other until i could move up there. a … Continue Reading

Sasha, 19, in Los Angeles: Ok so I went out with my boyfriend for a year and we broke up six months ago. But for the past six months I’ve been desperately trying to get him back and prove to him that I’ll do anything to make him happy. We still have sex and hook up every other week and his excuse is he “doesn’t want to do it with random girls”. I just want him back in my arms again and for him to trust me. But he says it won’t work because it’s too messed up and he … Continue Reading

Luci, 35, in New York: Dear Victor, I know that you have answered a lot of questions regarding if guys and girls can be friends, mostly all with the same result- so I apologize if this just the same old question.
A man with whom I was previously a “fb” with broke off the “f” part of the relationship with me, because he told me that I am too complicated for him, and he doesn’t have time for the “drama” of being intimate with me. (more about that later) However, he invited me into his business, so he and I are … Continue Reading

Mae, 22, in United States: So i’ve been having sex with this guy..i haven’t told anyone that we were but just told my friends we were hanging out. I have started to like him a lot and now i’m just trying to figure out if he does too or if it’s just sex to him. Here are some of the things he does..he calls me baby, tells me he’s been thinking about me, when we go out he’ll put his arms around me, he even took me grocery shopping with him. He recently started talking to me bout what a … Continue Reading

Elle, 22, in San Francisco, CA: I’ve been hooking up on/off with a guy for about 4 months now, but the situation is pretty confusing. I didn’t intend to like him (I do now), but the problem is I don’t know where I stand, really…

We meet up to have sex, but we also talk a lot. We talk more than we have sex, I think. And that’s the reason I began to like him, because he started talking about his past, his family, his culture… one time we met up, I couldn’t really have sex at the time, but he … Continue Reading

Mary Kay, 21, in Canada: I’ve been seeing this guy for 3 months.  We knew each other back in the day in College..he was in 3rd year i was in first..never really thought much of it. We were re-united at a party and started talking..talking let to more talking and drinking and before I knew it we were back at his apartment having sex. A very random thing for me to do..I thought it would be a one time thing. When this happened we had both just gotten out of relationships. We saw each other a few days later…and we’ve … Continue Reading

Marie, 38, in Rhode Island: Was pursued by a guy at work. We were friends first but he was in a relationship for 3 yrs. He broke up in Dec. Asked me out. I’ve always found him attractive. We connected. Been dating at least 3x/wk since mid-Feb. We have sex, but not always… he lives 45 minutes from me so we usually stay at each other’s place and sometimes just talk and make out… and always laugh and have fun. He went on vacation for 2 ½ weeks on a trip he’d planned awhile back. I said I’d miss him, … Continue Reading

megan, 28, in USA: If a guy you’re seeing tells you he isn’t looking for something “exclusive”  even though you know you are the only one he’s seeing mean exactly that or could he just be trying to pull a macho stunt to sound like he’s The Man? I’ve been seeing this guy for about 3 months and we technically are “exclusive” but we don’t have the boyfriend/girlfriend titles and I’m afraid to have a talk about progressing the relationship to the next level because of what he told me in the beginning. I’m getting impatient but I have strong … Continue Reading

Suzanne, 31, in Philadelphia: I am friends with a guy that I hook up with occasionally. We have never had sex, but we often talk about the fact that we should stop having our random make out sessions.  The problem is we have a strong physical attraction to one another.  His will power is worse than mine.  I don’t pursue make out sessions with him, but once he starts them, it is difficult for me to stop it.  Last week, he told me that he wanted to introduce me to one of his friends, so that I could date them … Continue Reading

Marie, 26, in Upstate NY: Hi Victor, me and my guy friend have been talking about hanging out together and fooling around a little bit, but, yesterday, he told me he found pictures of his first serious relationship and thought about how he was a douchebag back then and how we shouldn’t fool around because he doesn’t want to fall into old habits.  I’m asking cause I’m wondering if he’s trying to get with a new girl and doesn’t want to do anything with me and ruin his chances with her, or is he actually trying to be a better … Continue Reading

wondering, 29, in Canada: So I met this guy through a friend while I was away on vacation for 6 weeks in BC.  We hit it off right away as we are from the same small town and have a lot in common. We hung out a lot as friends first and talked to each like every day.  For the last 2 weeks we got closer to each other and I stayed at his place like every night. We didn’t end up sleeping together till my last night.

I’ve been back home now for 4 weeks and we have been keeping … Continue Reading

Anna, 23, in spain: Hi!I had this friend in high school kind of a weirdo but in a cute way. Anyway, after YEARS of not knowing anything about him, he texted me and we started hanging out, and eventually, we had a little something (one night, something stupid, we made out) Months later it happened again, I wasn´t into him in any way, just wanted to have some fun.
He was all about “I love you” bla bla bla, he didn’t and I knew he didn’t and I liked that because I just wanted to have some fun.
Anyway, in November we … Continue Reading