Submitted by on Thursday, May 28, 2009
By: Lisa
Age: 44
Location: Medina, NY
Question: I had a great 1st date with a guy I met off the internet. He mentioned he may have commitment issues. He called every day the first week. On our second date, we met at a quaint coffee shop, he mentioned that I was his first second date and how his newphew could not believe he was actually going on it. His body language showed he was very interested and he said he was looking for something like this. We then went for a walk and back to my place to watch a movie. There was a lot of kissing and things became very heated but we both opted to think with our heads and we were not intimate. He said he respected me and wanted to see me again. He said he would call me the next night. No word from him. I waited 3 days, called him and asked if he was no longer interested in chatting. He said he was having trouble with his cell phone service and he was glad I called his home phone. He said he was getting a new cell phone provider the next day and would be up and running and give me a shout sometime this week. He also had to business travel to Albany this week and said he would return this Friday afternoon. It has been 3 days since we spoke and still no word from him. I really, really like him and am beginning to panic that I will not hear from him since his phone call pattern has changed. I am so confused and wondering if he has fear kicking in?

VictorM's advice:

Whether he's losing interest in you or not, the decline in phone calls is natural. And with the traveling and all, I would try not to reach any conclusions for now.

Wait till he's back home and he's settled back with his new phone service. If the pattern of declining communications continue than it's safe to assume he lost interest in you. In fact, just as advanced warning, if he gives you the excuse that he's too busy, the party is over.

There ought to be a warning that exciting first few dates are no reflection of continued future interest. Guys can be very interested early on and lose that interest in a flash.

But anyway, give the guy at least until next week to see how it goes.