Friday, March 27, 2009
This guy I'm "friends" with is driving me nuts!
Submitted on Tuesday, March 24, 2009
By: Jessica
Age: 33
Location: Honolulu
Question: This guy I'm "friends" with is driving me nuts! One week he'll seem like he likes me - flirting with me, doing me little favors, recommending movies or books, that sort of thing. Normal friend behaviors. The next week, he'll sort of ignore me - not completely but if we're with a group, he'll talk to everyone but me, if I email him, he won't respond. I guess I wouldn't think too much of it except that we hooked up a couple of months ago, and that's when this behavior started - before that we were very close. I'm not interested in dating him b/c he has a girlfriend and I know he regrets what happened, but why is he acting like normal one week and a total douche the next?
Oh - one other thing has changed too - he absolutely will not acknowledge it if I bring up other guys. We used to talk about my dating life all the time (I'm single), but now it's completely taboo. What gives?
VictorM's advice:
The hooking up ruined everything. You are now a constant reminder that he's a cheat and a liar. He ignores you in front of others because while he knows that about himself, he doesn't want others to suspect it. Of course, he still has some fondness for you, which shows up from time to time, but the rest of the time, he stays away.
Also, before the hooking up, you were just merely a friend, and talk of other men was ok. But now, he no longer feels that you are the same type of friends and talk of other guys now infringes on his new hands-off attitude.
By the way, just to be clear, when he avoids you he's acting normal; when he flirts with you is when he's acting like a douche.
By: Jessica
Age: 33
Location: Honolulu
Question: This guy I'm "friends" with is driving me nuts! One week he'll seem like he likes me - flirting with me, doing me little favors, recommending movies or books, that sort of thing. Normal friend behaviors. The next week, he'll sort of ignore me - not completely but if we're with a group, he'll talk to everyone but me, if I email him, he won't respond. I guess I wouldn't think too much of it except that we hooked up a couple of months ago, and that's when this behavior started - before that we were very close. I'm not interested in dating him b/c he has a girlfriend and I know he regrets what happened, but why is he acting like normal one week and a total douche the next?
Oh - one other thing has changed too - he absolutely will not acknowledge it if I bring up other guys. We used to talk about my dating life all the time (I'm single), but now it's completely taboo. What gives?
VictorM's advice:
The hooking up ruined everything. You are now a constant reminder that he's a cheat and a liar. He ignores you in front of others because while he knows that about himself, he doesn't want others to suspect it. Of course, he still has some fondness for you, which shows up from time to time, but the rest of the time, he stays away.
Also, before the hooking up, you were just merely a friend, and talk of other men was ok. But now, he no longer feels that you are the same type of friends and talk of other guys now infringes on his new hands-off attitude.
By the way, just to be clear, when he avoids you he's acting normal; when he flirts with you is when he's acting like a douche.
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