Saturday, March 28, 2009
He rejected me
Submitted on Friday, March 27, 2009
By: Alice
Age: 28
Location: Connecticut
Question: I just told a male friend that I really liked him, and he rejected me. We go to school with each other and have several mutual friends so I'm going to be forced to see him at least a few times a week, but I really don't want to hang out with him any more until I get over this. He wants things to be the same as always, but I really can't tolerate being flirted with by someone who clearly has no feelings for me when I feel this strongly back. Should I tell him I don't want to be friends anymore or just start avoiding him? My instinct is to tell, but apparently I have crappy instincts since I also had the feeling that he "liked" me, which has proven dead wrong. I don't want to be a jerk, but I don't want to cause anymore heedless drama either - thoughts?
VictorM's advice:
In such a situation, it's quite common for the guy to want to be around you, and flirt even more. That's because few things pump up a guy's ego like being around a girl he knows likes him more than he likes her. So expect him to want your attention.
Generally, I would advise about talking to the guy in a situation like this because any further signs that you either like him or are hurt that he doesn't like you just gives him more power over you. You're much better off avoiding him on your own terms. Besides, giving him somewhat of a cold shoulder improves the odds that he might realize he likes you. So, keeping things civil is always a better option because you don't want to burn any bridges.
By: Alice
Age: 28
Location: Connecticut
Question: I just told a male friend that I really liked him, and he rejected me. We go to school with each other and have several mutual friends so I'm going to be forced to see him at least a few times a week, but I really don't want to hang out with him any more until I get over this. He wants things to be the same as always, but I really can't tolerate being flirted with by someone who clearly has no feelings for me when I feel this strongly back. Should I tell him I don't want to be friends anymore or just start avoiding him? My instinct is to tell, but apparently I have crappy instincts since I also had the feeling that he "liked" me, which has proven dead wrong. I don't want to be a jerk, but I don't want to cause anymore heedless drama either - thoughts?
VictorM's advice:
In such a situation, it's quite common for the guy to want to be around you, and flirt even more. That's because few things pump up a guy's ego like being around a girl he knows likes him more than he likes her. So expect him to want your attention.
Generally, I would advise about talking to the guy in a situation like this because any further signs that you either like him or are hurt that he doesn't like you just gives him more power over you. You're much better off avoiding him on your own terms. Besides, giving him somewhat of a cold shoulder improves the odds that he might realize he likes you. So, keeping things civil is always a better option because you don't want to burn any bridges.
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