Friday, February 27, 2009
I just found out that I am pregnant
Submitted on Wednesday, February 25, 2009
By: ERICA
Age: 33
Location: MICHIGAN
Question:
Hello victor,
I am dating a guy. we have been together for a few months and i just found out that i am pregnant, however, soon after that i got word that his ex-girlfriend is pregnant also. So i asked him about it. He confirmed it and said that she refuses to terminate the pregnancy. We've been together 3 months and i am only weeks and she is almost 4 months. He said it happened before us. My first reaction was to dump him, so i packed up all of his things and threw them out. He keeps begging me to let him come back home. He's been sleeping in his car in my driveway. I tell him to go back to her and leave me alone. He said he doesn't want her, he wants me. i am so confused about what to do right now. Please advise from a male point of view because everyone says i am thinking like a girl because i care for him a lot but i refuse to fall for the banana in the tail pipe.
VictorM's advice:
He had a girlfriend before you. Nothing wrong there. He had sex with her, which sounds pretty normal. She got pregnant. Oops. But how does that have anything to do with you and he feels about you now? I don't see the connection.
Of course, I have no idea what kind of man he is, if he'll be a good father, if he'll support the other child (legally he would have to, if she presses it), and if he will have a relationship with that other kid, which means at a minimum some interaction with the ex.
I think you stand to gain more by giving him a chance and getting to know him better -- heck, you can always dump him later if he turns out to disappoint. If you care for him, and if he seems to care for you, I don't see why you shouldn't give him a chance. The alternative is to dump a guy who might be a good partner and a good father, but you never have a chance to find out. The "what if" doubts later in life will haunt you more than if give him a chance and have to dump him later.
By: ERICA
Age: 33
Location: MICHIGAN
Question:
Hello victor,
I am dating a guy. we have been together for a few months and i just found out that i am pregnant, however, soon after that i got word that his ex-girlfriend is pregnant also. So i asked him about it. He confirmed it and said that she refuses to terminate the pregnancy. We've been together 3 months and i am only weeks and she is almost 4 months. He said it happened before us. My first reaction was to dump him, so i packed up all of his things and threw them out. He keeps begging me to let him come back home. He's been sleeping in his car in my driveway. I tell him to go back to her and leave me alone. He said he doesn't want her, he wants me. i am so confused about what to do right now. Please advise from a male point of view because everyone says i am thinking like a girl because i care for him a lot but i refuse to fall for the banana in the tail pipe.
VictorM's advice:
He had a girlfriend before you. Nothing wrong there. He had sex with her, which sounds pretty normal. She got pregnant. Oops. But how does that have anything to do with you and he feels about you now? I don't see the connection.
Of course, I have no idea what kind of man he is, if he'll be a good father, if he'll support the other child (legally he would have to, if she presses it), and if he will have a relationship with that other kid, which means at a minimum some interaction with the ex.
I think you stand to gain more by giving him a chance and getting to know him better -- heck, you can always dump him later if he turns out to disappoint. If you care for him, and if he seems to care for you, I don't see why you shouldn't give him a chance. The alternative is to dump a guy who might be a good partner and a good father, but you never have a chance to find out. The "what if" doubts later in life will haunt you more than if give him a chance and have to dump him later.
Comments:
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First you tell women they are too willing to "make it work" with one guy, putting all their eggs in one basket. Then you tell this woman to give this jerk another chance. WHEN THEY'VE ONLY BEEN TOGETHER FOR A FEW MONTHS.
Why? Just because she's pregnant?
She's better off without him (and the ex and the soon-to-be kid and all the drama that will undoubtedly unfold) and probably better off getting an abortion, too.
Why? Just because she's pregnant?
She's better off without him (and the ex and the soon-to-be kid and all the drama that will undoubtedly unfold) and probably better off getting an abortion, too.
# posted by 
: 1:29 AM
: 1:29 AM
Huh?? The guy has done nothing wrong. He had an ex who got pregnant. How is that a crime or something rotten?
Actually, HE got his ex pregnant. And now this other girl is pregnant. Clearly he doesn't think too much about HIS responsibility in either of these relationships. There is nothing quite as pathetic as a guy caught between two women that he has impregnated. To quote Strangers With Candy, the guy is probably a boozer, a user, and a loser.
MOVE ON.
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MOVE ON.
# posted by : 12:22 AM
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