Submitted on Sunday, January 04, 2009
By: Renali
Age: 14
Location: Greensboro
Question: I like this boy. I'm a freshman and he's a sophomore. We do not go to the same school but there is this association where I see him about twice a month. We both have a facebook and I talk to one of his cousins (who are in his group of friends). This sophomore I like is really attractive and amazing at sports. He doesn't talk to girls all to much. Although when it comes to sports and stuff he gets really cocky cause he knows he is really good at it. I haven't talked to him but I've seen him around and stuff. I like him and I know for sure that he does not like me. I also know that two of the people in his group think I am really hot. I am not trying to say I am all that cause i know i am not but all the time people tell me how beautiful i am. I imed him on facebook one time and said hey and he signed off two minutes later. He knows I like him and he does not like me back, but he doesn't even know me. Oh, and by the way his cousin also told me that he didn't like me. So these are all the signals I have gotten. I do not understand whether he hates or likes me or what? PLEASE help me because no matter I try to stop liking him I just cannot. I sometimes like someone else but all the while i still like him. IT ALWAYS COMES BACK TO HIM!!! Also I am shy. Everyone knows I like him and they all know he does not like me back. He has heard people talk about how pretty they think I am multiple times but he doesn't not ever comment. And he is not gay just by the way. Okay, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME!!

VictorM's advice:

Well, just because a boy around your age says he doesn't like you, doesn't mean he doesn't like you. Sometimes boys say that to avoid having to deal with annoying friends and not to scare away other girls. So don't let that deter you.

Why don't you IM him and ask a specific question about sports (in particular, a sport that he knows a lot about). Just IM him and say something like: "Hi, I know you know a lot about sports and I have a question about [sport he knows]. Is it OK if I ask it?" Of course, you have to have something you want to ask that will allow him to show off to you. Something like asking him to explain the offside rule in soccer, or the infield fly rule in baseball. Something a bit complicated so that: a) it juices up his ego, and 2) so it takes some time and some back and forth questions and answers.