Submitted on Tuesday, January 27, 2009
By: Erin
Age: 18
Location: Illinois
Question: Aight. So, I'm in college, and random hookups are a very common thing. Just when I thought I couldn't meet a good guy at a party who wasn't just looking for a hook up, I meet this amazing guy, Trevor. We are both in line to fill up at the keg, and he initiates a conversation my letting my in line next to him. We start some small talk, we introduce ourselves, then get deep into conversation, forgetting about filling our cups. In a nutshell, we spend the next couple hours just chatting. We find out we have sooo much in common, its kind of scary. When one of his buddies asks him to do shots, Trevor says "No, I actually want to remember this night", smiling at me. I dont really know what that meant. But then it starts getting late and we end up walking to a pizza place to grab food. We take it back to his dorm and just chill, listening to all these indie bands no one knows about but somehow we both knew about and loved. We eat our pizza and continue to just talk for a couple hours, then pop in a movie. After the movie ends, we just hug, he asks for my number, then we call it a night and I go back to my room. When I get back, we exchange flirty texts before dozing of to sleep. It was one of the best nights ever! I felt a real connection with him, and I felt he was feeling me too. But its been about a week, and we have only talked a few times; him saying "hey" to me in the hallway and having one long text convo. Nothing else has really come from it, and I'm wondering if that night meant anything? I mean, I'm glad we didn't hook-up. But what does it mean to "go home with a guy" but just talk? What happens next? I don't even know if I want to be more than friends with this guy, since I just met him, but I could definitely see us being friends. I just want to know what that night meant and what can come of it?

VictorM's advice:

As you said it yourself, random hookups are a common thing. So we have an environment where that happens a lot, with lots of parties, and lots of girls. You, in essence, were but one of those girls.

Guys are quite capable of having a really nice time in the now, without it having to become the future. You were a pleasant now. No seeds were planted. No promises were made. And you are one of many.

And he knows, as well as I know, that you accepting just being friends with this "amazing guy" is bullshit. You say it, you don't mean it, but not really.

As for what could come of it? Nothing. Or everything. If he didn't find you as amazing as you found him, he's going to take it slow. If he found you as amazing, he may go even slower. But don't expect just friendship with him -- guys aren't into that. At least not with a girl who's so attractive that he was willing to skip alcohol for.