Wednesday, January 28, 2009
It was 1997 when I met my ex-boyfriend
Submitted on Tuesday, January 27, 2009
By: Tara
Age: 34
Location: Bangkok
Question: It was 1997 when I met my ex-boyfriend, he was in my country doing his thesis. It was a few months we were together, flirting and in love. He left to go home 10,000 km away, and we wrote long letters twice/ month for about 2 years, the same time we visit each others twice / year for a month holiday a time. It ended up broken when we could not be together, living together after all that we could not right possibility and it would be too hard to go on like that. I decided to break it, it was from my upset feeling, a rush of blood to the head. We met after that and on the phone call I was upset about feeling his wall as I always felt at that time so I said he better don't call me anymore. I moved on, went to work in Europe. Had no sign of him, 5 years later he went to a club in his country where a friend of mine had worked there and still worked there at that time, when we were together he did not like this club, he said it's snob :-) but he went there and salute my friend so he asked about me. She emailed me quickly, and I called him and spoke about what happened in our lives during those years. I wasn't upset anymore and of course I always thought of him and wonder from time to time. It's good to reconcile, it wasn't for getting back it was for respect and sincerity. I had new boyfriend at that time, he was going to China for working and staying a few years. some months later I broke up and returned home in Asia. We met in where we met the first time, we had a week holiday and were intimate. He left to Beijing and I back to work in Bangkok, he invited me to Beijing and spend a week there. He treated me lovely and show me his gorgeous place, what of course could not be done when he was a student(he could just take me out for fried-rice and a drink or so:-) So he was proud and I was proud of him. I always knew he will have a successful future. I left Beijing with tear. He was confuse, seemed like. He visited me again year after and we went down to Phuket and had survived Tsunami together! He said something like to farewell our relationship, and say that I will always be special to him and if need anything let him know. I did not asked I just understood, no drama but I was sad. I bless him a new year for whatever he wish to come true ( I mean it including our realtion and that was good bye because I must move on). Then we just write email(very little) he had a girlfriend in China. Twice he tried passing BKK and stop by saying hello even for just a few hrs, another time I missed his stopover. Then sep 2006 he visited me with the cousin and we went to the island. This time I had made up my mind and do careful not to return and that we are friends, nothing happend. I do care him a lot, respect and admire as well in every fields. He wrote me he was dating a girl at home for a few months, and he wasn't sure about his feeling for her because he feels that he and I belonged together!! I said to wait and see how he feels some more months. Now latest email he mentioned he is dating her for 8 months and they not live together and he cares her and they have of course feeling for each others, but he doesn't feel she is right and also he feel special connection with me and lastly wrote he knows he will always loves me.
This is touching me so much and he never said he loves me, and after all this time he is saying now. He asked:
Do you think it could ever again be us? Do you have such feelings still for me? and do you think practically it could ever work for us? or how is your love life going?
My love life, am not dating someone special, though I had a few dates not long term and they were bad experiences.
I am feeling the sweet and bitter.
Would like to hear your opinions
Thank you in advance for your time and consideration
Tara
VictorM's advice:
I'm not quite sure what you're asking of me, but I will say this: life is very short. Time does not stand still. Wasting it is a shame. You both have wasted precious time in the company of people you wind up not caring about. Why not try to spend your time in the company of someone you want to be with?
You almost never regret what you do; you almost always regret what you don't do. And regrets are the absolutely worst thing you can carry into your old age.
By: Tara
Age: 34
Location: Bangkok
Question: It was 1997 when I met my ex-boyfriend, he was in my country doing his thesis. It was a few months we were together, flirting and in love. He left to go home 10,000 km away, and we wrote long letters twice/ month for about 2 years, the same time we visit each others twice / year for a month holiday a time. It ended up broken when we could not be together, living together after all that we could not right possibility and it would be too hard to go on like that. I decided to break it, it was from my upset feeling, a rush of blood to the head. We met after that and on the phone call I was upset about feeling his wall as I always felt at that time so I said he better don't call me anymore. I moved on, went to work in Europe. Had no sign of him, 5 years later he went to a club in his country where a friend of mine had worked there and still worked there at that time, when we were together he did not like this club, he said it's snob :-) but he went there and salute my friend so he asked about me. She emailed me quickly, and I called him and spoke about what happened in our lives during those years. I wasn't upset anymore and of course I always thought of him and wonder from time to time. It's good to reconcile, it wasn't for getting back it was for respect and sincerity. I had new boyfriend at that time, he was going to China for working and staying a few years. some months later I broke up and returned home in Asia. We met in where we met the first time, we had a week holiday and were intimate. He left to Beijing and I back to work in Bangkok, he invited me to Beijing and spend a week there. He treated me lovely and show me his gorgeous place, what of course could not be done when he was a student(he could just take me out for fried-rice and a drink or so:-) So he was proud and I was proud of him. I always knew he will have a successful future. I left Beijing with tear. He was confuse, seemed like. He visited me again year after and we went down to Phuket and had survived Tsunami together! He said something like to farewell our relationship, and say that I will always be special to him and if need anything let him know. I did not asked I just understood, no drama but I was sad. I bless him a new year for whatever he wish to come true ( I mean it including our realtion and that was good bye because I must move on). Then we just write email(very little) he had a girlfriend in China. Twice he tried passing BKK and stop by saying hello even for just a few hrs, another time I missed his stopover. Then sep 2006 he visited me with the cousin and we went to the island. This time I had made up my mind and do careful not to return and that we are friends, nothing happend. I do care him a lot, respect and admire as well in every fields. He wrote me he was dating a girl at home for a few months, and he wasn't sure about his feeling for her because he feels that he and I belonged together!! I said to wait and see how he feels some more months. Now latest email he mentioned he is dating her for 8 months and they not live together and he cares her and they have of course feeling for each others, but he doesn't feel she is right and also he feel special connection with me and lastly wrote he knows he will always loves me.
This is touching me so much and he never said he loves me, and after all this time he is saying now. He asked:
Do you think it could ever again be us? Do you have such feelings still for me? and do you think practically it could ever work for us? or how is your love life going?
My love life, am not dating someone special, though I had a few dates not long term and they were bad experiences.
I am feeling the sweet and bitter.
Would like to hear your opinions
Thank you in advance for your time and consideration
Tara
VictorM's advice:
I'm not quite sure what you're asking of me, but I will say this: life is very short. Time does not stand still. Wasting it is a shame. You both have wasted precious time in the company of people you wind up not caring about. Why not try to spend your time in the company of someone you want to be with?
You almost never regret what you do; you almost always regret what you don't do. And regrets are the absolutely worst thing you can carry into your old age.
Comments:
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a real epic
very interesting that in all taht time he never told her he loved her, but i feel that he may have all along
very interesting that in all taht time he never told her he loved her, but i feel that he may have all along
# posted by 
: 6:20 PM
: 6:20 PM
I think you should see waht you guys might have. Since you have both had time and space to think about the situation separately and he is now saying he loves you. It sounds like a situation where he realizes better what he had only after he lost it. He has met others who have not matched your level for him.
# posted by : 5:51 PM
: 5:51 PM
Thank you for thinking with me.
Here is the update:
After I replied him, like :
You almost never regret what you do; you almost always regret what you don't do. And regrets are the absolutely worst thing you can carry into your old age. (Love it from Victor's advise)
And he replied:
the truth is that we have a special bond - perhaps we are simply destined to be together and the greater forces of life will ensure that happens :)
"my love for you is genuine and it has always been there even if i was never good at showing or telling you that. your love for me I am also sure is genuine and true. even with that knowledge I do not know what to do, but in time it will come to me - I have some thinking to do.
Until then take care"
I think we should figure that out "the thinking to do" So I am going to write him as the third person what we could do. Oh dear.. why it is so difficult to write down
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Here is the update:
After I replied him, like :
You almost never regret what you do; you almost always regret what you don't do. And regrets are the absolutely worst thing you can carry into your old age. (Love it from Victor's advise)
And he replied:
the truth is that we have a special bond - perhaps we are simply destined to be together and the greater forces of life will ensure that happens :)
"my love for you is genuine and it has always been there even if i was never good at showing or telling you that. your love for me I am also sure is genuine and true. even with that knowledge I do not know what to do, but in time it will come to me - I have some thinking to do.
Until then take care"
I think we should figure that out "the thinking to do" So I am going to write him as the third person what we could do. Oh dear.. why it is so difficult to write down
# posted by : 1:49 PM
: 1:49 PM 
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