Thursday, January 29, 2009
Is it possible to be friends with your exes?
Submitted on Wednesday, January 28, 2009
By: Lisa
Age: 25
Location: Buffalo
Question: is it possible to be friends with a guy you have been involved with? Do guys want this? They offer it and seem to pursue it sometimes, but I'm not sure if I should just hide out and avoid communication to make both our lives easier and spare us having touchy subjects come up.
VictorM's advice:
Is it possible? Sure. Is it desirable? I say no.
I'm not saying you can't be friendly and civil. In fact, it would be nice if you can. But unless both parties leave the relationship is mutual agreement and mutual respect and detachment, the risk for much drama and complications outweigh any benefit you might get. Not only the "touchy subjects" but once either of you find a mate, jealousy from either one of you or from the mate is almost assured. And as I say often, exes are evil. You have too much power over the other one and it's too easy to be tempted to mess with their feelings. The best course of action is to close that chapter of your life and find new friends.
By: Lisa
Age: 25
Location: Buffalo
Question: is it possible to be friends with a guy you have been involved with? Do guys want this? They offer it and seem to pursue it sometimes, but I'm not sure if I should just hide out and avoid communication to make both our lives easier and spare us having touchy subjects come up.
VictorM's advice:
Is it possible? Sure. Is it desirable? I say no.
I'm not saying you can't be friendly and civil. In fact, it would be nice if you can. But unless both parties leave the relationship is mutual agreement and mutual respect and detachment, the risk for much drama and complications outweigh any benefit you might get. Not only the "touchy subjects" but once either of you find a mate, jealousy from either one of you or from the mate is almost assured. And as I say often, exes are evil. You have too much power over the other one and it's too easy to be tempted to mess with their feelings. The best course of action is to close that chapter of your life and find new friends.
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No. I think you can be civil with them. But that's all. I tried to be friends with an ex but it ended badly and now we aren't friends at all. so...no, don't think so.
# posted by 
: 4:30 PM
: 4:30 PM
I will just give my experience. My ex and I had a very brief, very passionate, VERY volitile relationship. We had an even uglier break up. Fast forward 15 years, he is my very best friend. We do all kinds of things together, sometimes with our spouses and sometimes alone. Everything I liked about him I still like. Everything I hated about him is no longer my problem.
Of course its not for everyone and if you have any kind of romantic feelings at all it won't work but yes, you can be friends but just like everything else in this world it takes work.
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Of course its not for everyone and if you have any kind of romantic feelings at all it won't work but yes, you can be friends but just like everything else in this world it takes work.
# posted by : 1:15 PM
: 1:15 PM You are not on Ask A Real Guy's Home Page.
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