Friday, September 26, 2008
I have been having an extramarital affair
Submitted on Tuesday, September 23, 2008
By Tami, 35, from CA:
I have been having an extramarital affair for about a year and a half with a guy that I've grown to love. This man told me over and over again that he didn't want a committed relationship with anyone. I accepted that to be a true statement. Last week a person who his best friend used to date in high school started chatting with him via facebook and now they are "exclusively dating". He then proceeded to drop me very quickly, assuring we should still be friends because we had fun and care about each other. First, why the lie about dating? Secondly, should I stay friends with the guy?
VictorM's advice:
He didn't lie about dating. When he was fucking you, he had no interest in being in a committed relationship. Let's face it, being with a liar and a cheater doesn't exactly encourage serious thoughts of commitment. That all changed when he met someone else where the possibilities of a typical relationship were possible. That's usually the way it works.
Doesn't matter what you do about the friendship. If he's serious about her, he'll stop the friendship with you. By the way, we're using the term friendship rather loosely here. I don't know all the details but I venture a guess that any relationship based on lying and cheating isn't much of anything worth keeping.
By Tami, 35, from CA:
I have been having an extramarital affair for about a year and a half with a guy that I've grown to love. This man told me over and over again that he didn't want a committed relationship with anyone. I accepted that to be a true statement. Last week a person who his best friend used to date in high school started chatting with him via facebook and now they are "exclusively dating". He then proceeded to drop me very quickly, assuring we should still be friends because we had fun and care about each other. First, why the lie about dating? Secondly, should I stay friends with the guy?
VictorM's advice:
He didn't lie about dating. When he was fucking you, he had no interest in being in a committed relationship. Let's face it, being with a liar and a cheater doesn't exactly encourage serious thoughts of commitment. That all changed when he met someone else where the possibilities of a typical relationship were possible. That's usually the way it works.
Doesn't matter what you do about the friendship. If he's serious about her, he'll stop the friendship with you. By the way, we're using the term friendship rather loosely here. I don't know all the details but I venture a guess that any relationship based on lying and cheating isn't much of anything worth keeping.
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