I am panicking. I don't know what to do. I made a mistake in my relationship with best friend turned boyfriend. I blew up at him and wanted to break up. it was very emotional, i stopped my tears and told him clearly we should separate. he begged for a second chance, crying too. NO matter what, I know that I love him as a best friend and a boyfriend, so of course i said yes. I realized i just had a major melt down and felt that things would never change, but I was too naive to notice that my boyfriend does try for me. I apologized and life went on. But i noticed just from the way he would give me a peck on the cheek or his subtle body language that something was different (I could always tell if something's wrong). Everyone told me its nothing...but i was right. He said he was doubting our relationship since the fight, but didn't know the exact reasons why. it was a feeling he just couldn't place, like the specialness was gone from the relationship, he said. But he said he wasn't sure if he wanted to break up, these feelings were present but obscure. He wanted to be together until he found out why he was feeling this way. He said if he could he would forget everything and go back to our former bliss. It's ironic because the fight started with my own doubts about us, but after the fight i realized how trivial they were. But after the fight, he took on my role and now its like he's picked up my dropped doubts! i don't want to lose him. is he serious or just going through a phase like I did?

thanks,
devastated

VictorM's advice:

Guys do address these types of incidents differently than girls. Many times, it takes one such outburst to burst the bubble and once it happens, the magic is simply gone. It's quite possible that he simply has lost romantic interest. But on the other hand, and equally as likely, he's in the process of overcoming this situation. But with guys, it won't happen overnight.

If he's to overcome what happened, you can help by doing 2 things: stop talking about this incident, and allow that for a period of time he won't be the same.

Talking about what happened just makes all the unpleasantness come back up to the surface. So stop talking about it. You admitted it was a phase, you accepted trying again, and now that's where you are. No need to go back.

Guys are very capable of getting over things such as this, but it's not uncommon for it to take some time, and for the guy to want to "punish" the girl for the way she made him suffer (if he cried, you hurt him). If you want him to get over it, you must also be willing to accept that it'll take him time to do so and that he'll keep your futures in doubt as a way of punishing you (which really is the way he'll heal and come back to normal). Don't be afraid to show him that he's hurting you (cry if you have to) because that's the quickest way for him to feel mission accomplished. Once that happens, you'll be back to normal (unless, of course, the magic spell really has been broken).