Monday, September 29, 2008
He wants to keep his options open
Submitted on Friday, September 26, 2008
By Samantha, 18, from GATech:
I really need some advice. So, I'm a freshman at GATech and I met this guy at our summer orientation. I didn't really have any feelings for him per say, but felt like I would. Turns out, we're now living on the same floor. I’m very introverted and never expected those feelings to be reciprocated so I moved on but my friend/roommate told me that he was talking to him and she literally dragged it out of him that he liked me (showing that he’s very introverted too). After some very awkward moments and our friends essentially locking us in a closet until we talked, we got everything out in the open, realizing that we both had feelings for each other and decided to see where things go.
So, now, I thought everything was going okay. We've spent a lot of time alone with each other just talking and we've kissed and spent a lot of time cuddled. But I'm wondering if this is going anywhere at all. Neither of us has been in a relationship or anything close and we're both clueless at everything. I mean, we’re both very comfortable being with each other, and we’re spending a big chunk of our time with each other, where we initiate the contact an equal amount of times between us.
And today, we were talking about what this whole thing was, something that we’ve been bringing up a bit and he mentioned something about being really scared because he's afraid of commitment and doesn't know about what it'll be like now not being able to do what he wants all the time now, but the thing is, he doesn’t seem like that kind of guy at all. I mean, neither of us have been in a relationship or been kissed until each other and now I’m not sure what he means by this. Or is it that he’s like every other freshmen guy and “wants to keep his options open”? That and since he mentioned this, he’s been avoiding me, making up the most obvious excuse to leave and I just want to know what’s going on. I don’t think I’ve been clingy at all, actually, it almost seems like the other way around at times, and now with him avoiding me, I don’t know what to do at all. Please help.
VictorM's advice:
It is most natural for boys around your age to want to play the field. I bet he's feeling even more adventuresome now that the first kiss is out of the way. If he's giving you the "fear of commitment" bullshit line and he's avoiding you, he's sending you strong signals that he wants to be free but doesn't want to tell it to you straight (guys are very cowardly that way).
You have gotten your first kiss out of this. Prepare yourself ready for another step in the cycle of relationships: the breakup. Whether you like it or not, it's coming.
By Samantha, 18, from GATech:
I really need some advice. So, I'm a freshman at GATech and I met this guy at our summer orientation. I didn't really have any feelings for him per say, but felt like I would. Turns out, we're now living on the same floor. I’m very introverted and never expected those feelings to be reciprocated so I moved on but my friend/roommate told me that he was talking to him and she literally dragged it out of him that he liked me (showing that he’s very introverted too). After some very awkward moments and our friends essentially locking us in a closet until we talked, we got everything out in the open, realizing that we both had feelings for each other and decided to see where things go.
So, now, I thought everything was going okay. We've spent a lot of time alone with each other just talking and we've kissed and spent a lot of time cuddled. But I'm wondering if this is going anywhere at all. Neither of us has been in a relationship or anything close and we're both clueless at everything. I mean, we’re both very comfortable being with each other, and we’re spending a big chunk of our time with each other, where we initiate the contact an equal amount of times between us.
And today, we were talking about what this whole thing was, something that we’ve been bringing up a bit and he mentioned something about being really scared because he's afraid of commitment and doesn't know about what it'll be like now not being able to do what he wants all the time now, but the thing is, he doesn’t seem like that kind of guy at all. I mean, neither of us have been in a relationship or been kissed until each other and now I’m not sure what he means by this. Or is it that he’s like every other freshmen guy and “wants to keep his options open”? That and since he mentioned this, he’s been avoiding me, making up the most obvious excuse to leave and I just want to know what’s going on. I don’t think I’ve been clingy at all, actually, it almost seems like the other way around at times, and now with him avoiding me, I don’t know what to do at all. Please help.
VictorM's advice:
It is most natural for boys around your age to want to play the field. I bet he's feeling even more adventuresome now that the first kiss is out of the way. If he's giving you the "fear of commitment" bullshit line and he's avoiding you, he's sending you strong signals that he wants to be free but doesn't want to tell it to you straight (guys are very cowardly that way).
You have gotten your first kiss out of this. Prepare yourself ready for another step in the cycle of relationships: the breakup. Whether you like it or not, it's coming.
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