Submitted on Saturday, July 19, 2008
By Chesarae, 27, from Midway, AR:

I recently met this guy who I clicked with like I never have before. He saw me at an event and thought I was pretty and so he asked a mutual friend to set us up. I've been divorced for 2 years and he has only been split up from his fiancee for 6 months. I was concerned, but he said that it wasn't a rebound thing. We both have a lot in commom and seemed to be on the same page. We've both told each other that we really, really liked each other. He's been texting me all the time and has said that I make him happy. He's pretty much returned all my feelings. Today, however, he says that he's confused and isn't ready for a relationship. He says it isn't me, but him. He just suddenly realized that he's not over his ex even though he said he was. He also said he's sorry for upsetting me and just wanted to be honest which I appreciate. I have been extremely honest about my feelings and wonder if he's scared of it getting too intense too fast. I think us talking about past relationships may have also brought up old feelings. I don't understand how he claimed to feel one way and 12 hours later another. I am backing off and giving him space. What does all this mean and do you think there is any chance he may be interested again in the future?

VictorM's advice:

He lost interest in you. Don't count on him coming back.

What happens is when a guy jumps into a relationship with so much enthusiasm he is on a high. A few weeks into the relationship, when he comes down to Earth, he sees things differently.

He didn't lie to you early on; he meant everything he said, but his interest in you just suddenly faded. One moment he thinks you're perfection and then, when the dust settles, you can't live up to that image. Happens frequently.