Submitted on Sunday, July 20, 2008
By Natasha, 17:

I've been crazy about my best guy friend for a long time. After realizing that things aren't going to happen (at least not now certainly, he has things that he, as he said , needs to work out on his own.) I let myself heal and move on. I soon after I met, well actually re-met, this guy. We'd met a while ago and lost contact. He'd apparently asked my best friend for my # then never worked up the courage to call me. So we started talking again and my best friend told me every things he's been telling her, which is basically that he likes me and wants to ask me out really badly but is afraid I'm gonna say no. He calls me beautiful and just talks and argues with me (not in a bad way, like the fun arguing) and seems really sincere and we have so many things in common. It became really obvious that he was into me and that I was getting interested in him and my friend had been trying to convince him that I would totally say yes if he's just ask, but he's still convinced there is no way I'll say yes. Things seemed to be going great, with the exception of him not asking me yet, until a few days ago. He apparently has a girlfriend that he's been with for a while and didn't tell me and happened to mention it to my friend. She tried to ask him wat the deal was with him messing with me since he's spoken for, but we think he's ignoring her calls and texts. But he still picks up the phone for me, which is odd since idk I'd think that he'd wanna avoid me too. He knows somethings bugging me and texted my friend wanting to know if I'm okay so idk. I want to confront him about this, but I don't think he knows that I know he's planning on asking me out. And then on top of all this, that best guy friend totally started acting weird... almost jealous. When he found out about this new guy (I hadn't gotten to tell him yet and he overheard me talking to someone about the guy), it was like he was trying to one up him or something and was like, "Do you actually LIKE him?" and just stuff like that. He knows I wouldn't date someone unless I did so idk y he's acting so weird, especially when I tried to ask what was up with him, or wat this guy's deal is cause he really seemed like he'd be a good guy until this came up. Can you explain ANY of this to me so maybe I can figure out what to do?

VictorM's advice:

As far as the first guy not having asked you out yet... many guys enjoy the journey more than they enjoy the destination. Maybe he'll ask you out, maybe he won't, but he's enjoying the gamesmanship. And he gets to keep his girlfriend. Life is good as is, why ask you out and risk spoiling it?

As far as the second guy... any guy coming into your life will take your attention away from him. Besides, guys are competitive in this way. He can't believe you actually like a creep that still has a girlfriend while talking to you. (I don't know that he knows all that, but if he finds out, he'll think you're losing your marbles).