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Thursday, June 19, 2008
She dove in, part 2
Submitted on Friday, June 13, 2008
By Alana, 21:
Hey it's Alana! I "DOVE IN". We became official. But Victor, I have a problem. Yesterday I went to see him as a surprise, and he seemed pissed off. I asked him what's wrong, he said he was having a bad day. I then asked, "What happened?" He said he didn't know. He was just MEAN. I hugged him and everything, and all he said was "Why are you here?" I told him that I was going to get him and his friend to come out with me and a couple other friends. He said, "No..I have plans." What?? This is strange because he would call/text for me to spend with him and get mad when I can't. Now that I finally can, it's like he doesn't want it? So I told him that I would go watch a baseball game with my friends and head over to play some pool. I asked him if he was gonna meet up with us to play pool, he said, "I don't know." I texted him, called 2 times to check up and see if he was going, he never responded back. Well, I was at the pool hall with my friends (and some of my guy friends that he doesn't really know) and we were there from 9-12 AM. My new "boyfriend" did not call, did not text, nothing to let me know if he was comin or not. My other guy friend (who's HIS friend) called him to pick him up because he was having problems. So that's when my boyfriend showed, and he asked my girl, Miranda, who "those other guys" were. I ignored him. I didn't even look at him. I was upset that he was like this to me. Anyway, he left. I then texted him, "I'll make things easier for you. I know you don't want me. it's okay. YOU do YOU."
By Alana, 21:
Hey it's Alana! I "DOVE IN". We became official. But Victor, I have a problem. Yesterday I went to see him as a surprise, and he seemed pissed off. I asked him what's wrong, he said he was having a bad day. I then asked, "What happened?" He said he didn't know. He was just MEAN. I hugged him and everything, and all he said was "Why are you here?" I told him that I was going to get him and his friend to come out with me and a couple other friends. He said, "No..I have plans." What?? This is strange because he would call/text for me to spend with him and get mad when I can't. Now that I finally can, it's like he doesn't want it? So I told him that I would go watch a baseball game with my friends and head over to play some pool. I asked him if he was gonna meet up with us to play pool, he said, "I don't know." I texted him, called 2 times to check up and see if he was going, he never responded back. Well, I was at the pool hall with my friends (and some of my guy friends that he doesn't really know) and we were there from 9-12 AM. My new "boyfriend" did not call, did not text, nothing to let me know if he was comin or not. My other guy friend (who's HIS friend) called him to pick him up because he was having problems. So that's when my boyfriend showed, and he asked my girl, Miranda, who "those other guys" were. I ignored him. I didn't even look at him. I was upset that he was like this to me. Anyway, he left. I then texted him, "I'll make things easier for you. I know you don't want me. it's okay. YOU do YOU."
He responded an HOUR later, "k i will like i always have." I didn't mind it, I still had my fun night. When it hit 3 AM, I received yet another text from him, "Hey anyway that's cool. you do you. That's what YOU should do, but you are no longer welcome here at my house."
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT???
Anyway, I responded and told him to read his myspace email later because I didn't have the time to argue with him that moment. In my message I explained to him how I felt like he basically blew me off, and I was receiving the vibes from him that he wasn't "interested" and "didn't want" me there... hell, didn't want me PERIOD. Then at the end of my message, I told him I felt like I was just bothering him, and that I was sorry, all I really wanted was for him to be there with me. I don't even see him everyday ya know?
Words from a wise man would be greatly appreciated, VictorM. :)
VictorM's advice:
Your boyfriend sound fairly typical -- the kind of guy who reverts to the little kid inside him when things don't go his way.
Let's see... he was having a bad day and instead of leaving him alone, you did the female thing and try to make it better. Hopefully you'll learn to just give him space to work things out on his own. See, guys don't need -- heck, most don't like -- the whole motherly, naturing thing. We like to be left alone to solve our own problems.
But then you went out and had fun on your own while he was feeling bad. You selfish creep! (These are not my words; they are his thoughts). And so the little child stepped in and he acted like a little kid.
The good news? These "inner-child" moments pass rather quickly. It varies from guy to guy how long they need, but it will pass. Chances are that he has gotten back to you already since you sent this question and has apologized. If not, well, maybe he's not under the grasp of his inner child; maybe he's just an idiot and you're very lucky to have taken such a quick dive and being alerted to step away.
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT???
Anyway, I responded and told him to read his myspace email later because I didn't have the time to argue with him that moment. In my message I explained to him how I felt like he basically blew me off, and I was receiving the vibes from him that he wasn't "interested" and "didn't want" me there... hell, didn't want me PERIOD. Then at the end of my message, I told him I felt like I was just bothering him, and that I was sorry, all I really wanted was for him to be there with me. I don't even see him everyday ya know?
Words from a wise man would be greatly appreciated, VictorM. :)
VictorM's advice:
Your boyfriend sound fairly typical -- the kind of guy who reverts to the little kid inside him when things don't go his way.
Let's see... he was having a bad day and instead of leaving him alone, you did the female thing and try to make it better. Hopefully you'll learn to just give him space to work things out on his own. See, guys don't need -- heck, most don't like -- the whole motherly, naturing thing. We like to be left alone to solve our own problems.
But then you went out and had fun on your own while he was feeling bad. You selfish creep! (These are not my words; they are his thoughts). And so the little child stepped in and he acted like a little kid.
The good news? These "inner-child" moments pass rather quickly. It varies from guy to guy how long they need, but it will pass. Chances are that he has gotten back to you already since you sent this question and has apologized. If not, well, maybe he's not under the grasp of his inner child; maybe he's just an idiot and you're very lucky to have taken such a quick dive and being alerted to step away.
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