We were on again off again for a year, I was hurt bad but since we've been apart I'm a much stronger person now. I had become very weak and got hurt easily and that's pretty much what broke us up for good. Since then I've been focusing on myself and I am much stronger now.

We weren't really talking for a while, he got a new girlfriend, and when he broke up with her we started talking more on myspace. I tried to make him feel better when he felt bad about hurting her, I felt like it would help to hear from someone he's hurt in the past and to know that I'm ok now and I don't hate him. I think he appreciated that.

We emailed a bit the rest of the week, keeping it light, though I seemed to be the one initiating it. It felt good cause he wasn't talking to me for awhile. Then last Saturday he texted me at 2:30 in the morning asking me if I was up. I asked if something was wrong and he said it's just been awhile... since I've had great sex. He was obviously drunk.

I told him to get some sleep, he tried a few more times and I told him no. We've still been emailing, still keeping it light. When I brought up the texts he said he wasn't that drunk, just feeling good and horny as hell.

It has been on my mind this whole week. I've never had sex like that in my life. We were amazing in bed. Part of me really wants to but I don't want to risk becoming that hurt girl again. I don't want a relationship right now, I'm enjoying being single and focusing on myself... though I would like to think that someday we could be together again.

For right now what I really want is to be able to hang out with him. I would not feel comfortable hopping into bed with him without seeing him this long, I just want to be able to hang out with him and see how I feel then. I just really don't know how to ask him. He hasn't tried to sleep with me again since then and I'm not sure how to bring it up without sounding desperate. Any ideas?

VictorM's advice:

I think you're asking me because you know very well that asking him to "hang out" is a short step away from him "feeling good and horny as hell" right away. This makes me wonder if there really is anything keeping him interested in you but sex.

The "friends with benefits" suggestion that you are making -- and if I read you correctly, that's what you have in mind -- requires no strength. In fact, it's only a sign of weakness.

You say you are a stronger woman now. OK, prove it: focus on finding a man who will contact you for reasons other than feeling "horny as hell" and with whom you can find a happy future. And if you find him, the sex will be great with him too.