Submitted on Saturday, June 21, 2008
By angel, 28, from arlington:

My boyfriend and I met at the same time his best friend met his girlfriend. Two years passed and both couples were pregnant at the same time. The difference is that now I'm writing this question the night before THEIR wedding! What the heck! My boyfriend hasn't even hinted about even proposing marriage to me! I know it's silly, but I'm feeling like why does she deserve to get married and I'm nowhere near that? I know I should be happy for them...but instead I'm feeling jealous, left out, and not good enough to be asked.

VictorM's advice:

If life were a competition against your friends, you'd have a point, but life is not a race! You may have met and gotten pregnant around the same time as your friends, but many other things could be different such as your economic situation and emotional state.

Your boyfriend not asking you to marry him probably has more to do with him and his feelings about marriage than it does about how good he thinks you are or are not.

Marriage is plenty difficult as it is. Statistics don't bode well for the institution. A couple shouldn't get into marriage unless both parties know for sure that's what they want. The measure of success in marriage is not who gets into first, but who lasts longer while being happy together.

I don't know all the particulars about your boyfriend, such as what kind of experiences his relatives and close friends have had with marriage, how secure he feels about his job (to guys, this is a huge factor), and of course, how strongly he feels about you. But if marriage is such a big issue with you, you should let him know that. The idea that a marriage proposal should only come from the guy when he's good and ready is outdated. Talk to him in a non-threatening way and find out where he stands.