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Thursday, June 19, 2008
Do I contact him and ask what's up or just leave it?
Submitted on Saturday, June 14, 2008
By Lilly, 25, from Australia:
Thanks for your advice Victor - much appreciated. I hope you'll answer this question too (I'm the ' We went out for drinks and couldn't stop talking' girl). Well, as you've read previously this guy seemed so eager to see me again and wanted to 'definitely' do something the coming week. A week has gone by since he said that and I haven't heard from him. My question to you is do I contact him and ask what's up or just leave it...if he was interested he'd contact me? I don't want to be pushy but I really like him. Is it possible that he is interested but is not contacting me because he's confused as to what to do (considering there's a gf)? I figure he can't be not interested, even a little, because he was the one who contacted me after our get together and said he had a good time with me. What should I do? Thanks a lot.
VictorM's advice:
There's a good chance he realized that going out with you was a mistake since he has a girlfriend. Or maybe he needs time to resolve issues with her (dump her) so he can pursue you. Of course, there's also the possibility that he lost interest in you (I know, so hard to believe :)) but since you have no way of knowing what the story is, I see no downside to contacting him. Go ahead and do it.
By Lilly, 25, from Australia:
Thanks for your advice Victor - much appreciated. I hope you'll answer this question too (I'm the ' We went out for drinks and couldn't stop talking' girl). Well, as you've read previously this guy seemed so eager to see me again and wanted to 'definitely' do something the coming week. A week has gone by since he said that and I haven't heard from him. My question to you is do I contact him and ask what's up or just leave it...if he was interested he'd contact me? I don't want to be pushy but I really like him. Is it possible that he is interested but is not contacting me because he's confused as to what to do (considering there's a gf)? I figure he can't be not interested, even a little, because he was the one who contacted me after our get together and said he had a good time with me. What should I do? Thanks a lot.
VictorM's advice:
There's a good chance he realized that going out with you was a mistake since he has a girlfriend. Or maybe he needs time to resolve issues with her (dump her) so he can pursue you. Of course, there's also the possibility that he lost interest in you (I know, so hard to believe :)) but since you have no way of knowing what the story is, I see no downside to contacting him. Go ahead and do it.
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This follow-up comment sent by Lilly:
Hi Victor. I hope you can offer me some more advice again. I've taken your advice the last two times and you haven't been wrong so thank you. You answered my last question on Sat 14th June. I did contact that guy and apparently he was busy with uni and work. I didn't buy this excuse but was nice to him and just left it at that. Then he contacted me three days later to see if I wanted to go out. We went out and he even picked me up. We had a really good time and he kept touching me the whole time. By the end of the night he'd asked if I wanted to go see a movie with him this weekend. He didn't mention the girlfriend and I didn't ask. I plan to go with him (as friends only) but Victor, do you think I should keep my mouth shut about the girlfriend and let him tell me? Or do I ask about her and possibly ruin the night? Thanks again, you've been a great help. L
Hi Victor. I hope you can offer me some more advice again. I've taken your advice the last two times and you haven't been wrong so thank you. You answered my last question on Sat 14th June. I did contact that guy and apparently he was busy with uni and work. I didn't buy this excuse but was nice to him and just left it at that. Then he contacted me three days later to see if I wanted to go out. We went out and he even picked me up. We had a really good time and he kept touching me the whole time. By the end of the night he'd asked if I wanted to go see a movie with him this weekend. He didn't mention the girlfriend and I didn't ask. I plan to go with him (as friends only) but Victor, do you think I should keep my mouth shut about the girlfriend and let him tell me? Or do I ask about her and possibly ruin the night? Thanks again, you've been a great help. L
I would say that if you're going to go out with this guy, as friends or not, you have a right to know if he has a girlfriend. If you don't want to ruin the night, then wait for the end of the night to bring it up, but pretending you don't know about her isn't going to do anything for you.
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