My boyfriend I are in a long distance relationship for 8 months and have been together about other weekend. I'm his first serious girlfriend, and am positive he cares about me deeply. Two weeks ago he missed our weekend due to a lot of work (he's a student and his funding depends on grades) and he's going to miss the next two and I the third one due to a trip.

This is hard on me because he can't be here for me and I miss him a lot and at first I was angry and depressed and he realized this and asked me if it was really worth it for me. I contemplated this and realized that I care for him enough that I'd rather deal with the distance and be with him and have a good time with someone else next to me.

Problem is, that now he's acting distant and keeps going over this point that I brough up months ago about how it's so hard and he's just making me sad and he doesn't want to see me sad. When he talks to me now, he's very short and distant and doesn't even bother calling me anymore (big deal because he is not a private person and shares almost ALL his feeling with me, especially when it comes to work). I know he's very stressed and depressed right now, and he continuously mentions how guilty he feels that he can't be there for me. I don't want my relationship to be ruined by a couple of finals, but I really don't know what to do. Do I just let him be? This is the perfect opportunity for me to show him how much I care for him and that I can be there for him, but because I've never seen him like this before and nothing that has worked in the past is working now, I am completely lost on what to do.. and it's breaking my heart.

By the way, I do have hobbies, job, life and don't need to keep myself any busier, so don't tell me that. It's hard for those things to make you happy when someone you love is suffering and you don't know how to help them.

Thanks so much!

VictorM's advice:

Well, lovely, I won't tell you to get hobbies, but I will tell you to drop the melodramatics. Your boyfriend is "suffering"? Your characterization seems to grossly exaggerate the situation and the rest of your submission suggests that you're the only one who can cure such malady. Both assertions sound wrong to me.

Guys are problem solvers. They like to deal with their own problems. The best you can do is stay out of the way and let him deal with his situation. I'm sure he's stressed. I'm sure he feels some guilt. And I'm sure they are both temporary measures that will go away once finals are out of the way.

Go out with your friends, carrying on with your hobbies, be a sympathetic ear if and when he does call to talk about his work or school but do him, and yourself, a favor and stop acting like you're his mommy.