Met a guy recently who I was intensely attracted to after dating someone for a year whom with there was no passion, at least not for me. Saw this new man at a couple of events. He mentioned that he specifically came to one because he hoped to see me there. This was only two weeks ago and we've gone out twice since then.

There's major chemistry. He's said he feels it and I feel it. Problem is, he says he'll call me within a specific time frame and then ends up calling me a day later to ask me out. He's done this three times. He does call me, but it's a half day later than he says he will. He's called me a couple other times just to chat and catch up. He asks me lots of personal questions, tells me personal things about his life, tells me I'm beautiful, tells me he's been fantasizing about me. We haven't slept together but we have been intimate without sex. During that time together he is very focused on me... if you know what I mean. Maybe that's his thing though.

Yesterday he called me early in the day (he had said he'd call me the night before), but I was busy so I said I'd call him back later that afternoon. I did and of course he didn't answer his phone. And didn't call me back for the rest of the evening.

So my questions is why does he keep calling me and getting "personal" with me and acting super interested when we do hang out, but sending me these mixed messages by not calling when he says he will? Is he 1. just flaky and bad about calling in general 2. doesn't want to move too fast (which is fine with me, but do what you say you will!) 3. wants a fuck buddy or 4. is truly just not that into me? He also just lost his job so he's dealing with that issue.

I am trying to tell myself that it's #4 so I can stop obsessing. I am obviously VERY into this guy, but I know that I should not waste my time or emotions on someone who isn't all about me.

I suppose I can just wait and see what he does at this point. I know he'll call eventually. Should I not return his call and be unavailable and play that game? I know better than to call him again (even though I have only ever returned his calls, never initiated!)

Thanks in advance for listening. :)

VictorM's advice:

Do NOT play the game. That's not going to help anything.

His calling back habits have nothing to do with you, or with his feelings towards you. They are a personal characteristic of his habits and nothing more. Now, I don't know what his true intentions are towards you, but from everything you said, he seems into you.

But do not overlook what his calling habits may tell you about him. The first thing you should do is tell him how you feel about that habit. Don't do it in an accusatory tone of voice. Simply state why you don't like it, how it makes you feel when he doesn't call, and yes, you have every right to ask him to please call you when he says he will because otherwise it's a show of disrespect (if indeed you feel this way).

The great lesson you need to pay attention to is how he reacts to this information. If he says you're making a big deal out of nothing, if he denies he's that late, if he walks away from you because of it... this lets you know that you've placed your interest on a man that will make no effort to make you happy. And the sooner you learn that, the better. On the other hand, if he listens to you and promises to remedy the situation, you've not only fixed the problem with maturity but you've learned something very cool about this guy.