Submitted on Friday, May 09, 2008
By Katie, 24, from Phoenix:

I am attracted to a trainer at the gym that I am a member at but haven't had the ability to actually talk to him yet. I am somewhat shy when it comes to men and as a result, have difficulty iniating conversation with men that I am interested in. However, I am somewhat of an old fashioned girl and feel as though if he were interested, he would make the first move and try and strike up conversation with me. Is this true or should I do something more on my end? I think there is interest on his end due to our eye contact...but that's all that has occurred between us for the last 2-3 months and I am getting impatient! Should I do something about it or let it go and move on?

VictorM's advice:

Are we talking about a fairly young, muscular, attractive male who deals with all kinds of women -- attractive and otherwise -- on an hourly basis? I ask because you may have to stand at the back of the line.

Now, assuming that you do stand out to him, it's totally plausible that he likes/needs his job too much to risk pursuing you. Many places of employment, like gyms, have rules against staff engaging with clients. And in the gym, before you are a woman, you are a client.

Now, if you could somehow find out what bar or club he hangs out and meet him there "by coincidence"... well, once you're away from his place of work, rules bend or don't apply. Shouldn't be too hard to ask him for a bar or club in the area that he recommends, and what's the best day of the week to go there. ;)