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Friday, May 16, 2008
He's so shy and doesn't seem the "boyfriend type."
Submitted on Tuesday, May 13, 2008
By Kristi, 22, from New York:
Um, well my boyfriend is really nice and is better talking on the phone but when it comes to the public, he's so shy and doesn't seem the "boyfriend type." What does it mean?
VictorM's advice:
It just means he doesn't like to show emotion in public. It has nothing to do with how he feels about you; it's all about how he feels about himself. Chances are he grew-up in a family where affection wasn't shown or was even rediculed.
The best bet would be for him to see a professional therapist. At a minimum, discuss this with him but don't put him on the defensive. Show sympathy and understanding and offer to help.
If he's willing to try, I suggest you step back and realize that he's not going to change overnight. If you make an effort to show affection in public towards him, start small. Maybe just holding hands. Build up his level of trust. Reward him when he does something that shows progress. Yeah, just like training a puppy.
By Kristi, 22, from New York:
Um, well my boyfriend is really nice and is better talking on the phone but when it comes to the public, he's so shy and doesn't seem the "boyfriend type." What does it mean?
VictorM's advice:
It just means he doesn't like to show emotion in public. It has nothing to do with how he feels about you; it's all about how he feels about himself. Chances are he grew-up in a family where affection wasn't shown or was even rediculed.
The best bet would be for him to see a professional therapist. At a minimum, discuss this with him but don't put him on the defensive. Show sympathy and understanding and offer to help.
If he's willing to try, I suggest you step back and realize that he's not going to change overnight. If you make an effort to show affection in public towards him, start small. Maybe just holding hands. Build up his level of trust. Reward him when he does something that shows progress. Yeah, just like training a puppy.
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What are good rewards for good behavior? Should she keep some cheese nips or m&ms in her purse?
# posted by 
: 1:08 PM
: 1:08 PM 
Now, now. Sex should never be a reward for good behavior. Sex is a reward in and of itself!
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# posted by : 1:55 PM
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