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Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I found a recent photo of his exgirlfriend
Submitted on Monday, April 28, 2008
By Karla, 24, from New Jersey:
I was with my boyfriend this weekend and I found a recent photo of his exgirlfriend and her number on his phone. I just don't understand why he has a recent picture of her. He told me that she text him and that she wanted him back about 3 weeks ago, but the picture was saved 2 weeks prior to that which means they have been talking. He says he is in love with me, but he also tells me that he loves her and thinks of her, (that hurt me alot). I was very understanding about that until now that I found that picture of her. Am I overreacting about this? Or does he want her back? Why is her picture and her number still on his phone? I'm thinking that he cheated on me.I really don't know how to approach him. Please help me understand.
VictorM's advice:
Just because he has her picture and her number you jump to the conclusion that he cheated? Sounds harsh. He told you that he still loves her and still thinks of her. That's amazing honesty. Not what you would expect from a cheater.
I don't know what his motivation is vis-a-vis is ex, but it is not at all uncommon to still love someone who was special to him for so long and to take time to get over that person. A guy can feel love for a girl and still not want to get involved with her. In fact, I think you should worry more if he treated her like dirt now. What he's showing you is that he's capable of loving someone and not treat such love as something trivial. How he treats her now is indicative of how he will treat you.
So what if he still talks to her? She's not his enemy. The way she becomes less significant in his life is if he has a wonderful time with you. If you want to push him away from her, stop pushing him away from her. Instead, make his time with you wonderful and fun and slowly but surely she'll become history.
By Karla, 24, from New Jersey:
I was with my boyfriend this weekend and I found a recent photo of his exgirlfriend and her number on his phone. I just don't understand why he has a recent picture of her. He told me that she text him and that she wanted him back about 3 weeks ago, but the picture was saved 2 weeks prior to that which means they have been talking. He says he is in love with me, but he also tells me that he loves her and thinks of her, (that hurt me alot). I was very understanding about that until now that I found that picture of her. Am I overreacting about this? Or does he want her back? Why is her picture and her number still on his phone? I'm thinking that he cheated on me.I really don't know how to approach him. Please help me understand.
VictorM's advice:
Just because he has her picture and her number you jump to the conclusion that he cheated? Sounds harsh. He told you that he still loves her and still thinks of her. That's amazing honesty. Not what you would expect from a cheater.
I don't know what his motivation is vis-a-vis is ex, but it is not at all uncommon to still love someone who was special to him for so long and to take time to get over that person. A guy can feel love for a girl and still not want to get involved with her. In fact, I think you should worry more if he treated her like dirt now. What he's showing you is that he's capable of loving someone and not treat such love as something trivial. How he treats her now is indicative of how he will treat you.
So what if he still talks to her? She's not his enemy. The way she becomes less significant in his life is if he has a wonderful time with you. If you want to push him away from her, stop pushing him away from her. Instead, make his time with you wonderful and fun and slowly but surely she'll become history.
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