I've explained to him on numerous occasions that doing this, while possibly cute for about 30 seconds, is a) a turn off, b) makes me angry and, most importantly, c) makes me feel like a terrible gf who can't give him what he wants. It's gotten so bad on occasion that he's made me cry, which he obviously doesn't like, but still he doesn't seem to get the message.

I'm all about communication in relationships but at this point I'm afraid to start a conversation about it again, as I've done so to no avail so many times, and I don't want to sound like I'm nagging. But if I wait till he does it and tell him no, he whines or gets pissy. I honestly think he thinks this is the best way to "sex me up" as he puts it, and I love him dearly, but it's NOT, so why on EARTH does he keep doing it??

VictorM's advice:

You assume that his behavior is something he should be able to change easily. But it's not so. I don't know about his background, but it wouldn't surprise me if he grew up in an environment where if he wanted attention he had to do something, if not positive, then negative, to get it. He's used to the chaos and upheaval it generates. He's willing to haggle and put up with some fuss as long as it eventually gets him what he wants. That's probably how he ever got anything in life. It's deeply embedded in him. Based on your different upbringing being that way makes no sense, but to him, it's survival.

Your boyfriend is the type of guy who wants your attention above all, be it positive attention or negative attention. Love him or scream at him, it doesn't matter much; you're giving him the attention he craves.

You need to stop giving him that attention when he talks that way to you.

He sees no need to change, despite your objections, because his behavior is getting him what he wants. Let's see... have you broken up with him? No. I'm even willing to bet that after you fight or cry you have great make-up sex, but even if not, he still gets your undivided attention. So, whether you realize it or not, he's getting what he wants, being exactly the way he has always been. Why should he stop now when it's working for him?

You can't talk, yell, or cry him into changing. What you have to do is make his behavior produce failure. That means, he has to lose, not gain, your attention when he talks in ways you object. So stop getting mad, stop yelling, stop crying. Every time he talks that way, make him lose your attention. Walk away without anger. Just walk up and leave. If he asks what's going on, just say in a calm tone of voice: "If you're going to talk that way, you're going to be talking to yourself." If he calls you immature, sensitive, you can't take a joke, etc. just say: "I don't think so, but if it makes you happy to believe it, go right ahead." And keep walking away, being calm, even polite, but mostly ignoring him. And of course, no sex!

It's important that you understand this: your boyfriend feeds off your attention, both negative and positive. Stop giving it to him when he acts like a jerk. (This advice, by the way, works for other behavior that gets your negative attention, not just the sexual remarks).